Patrick is one of my favorite baseball writers today, and the comparison of Mike Elias' word vomit to Vogon poetry is just one example of his talent.

I just learned that the 1993 Mariners-Orioles game that included a wild 20-minute brawl is available on YouTube, and it reignited my desire to start a podcast where I recap old O's telecasts. I'm inviting you to either encourage or discourage these urges as you see fit. youtu.be/Rw4bkmQ_AJc?...

Here's my favorite video of Val, following a heavy snowfall in January 2016.

Hug your four-legged pals as tight as you can. We just said goodbye to our beloved Valerie (Val), aka Monster, aka Pooper. She brightened our lives for 15 years, and it still feels like it wasn't nearly long enough. I'll see you on the other side, you good, sweet girl. 🖤🤍

Context for my last quote post. Austin Hays suuuuucks.

Here I've been blaming T. Rowe Price for the Orioles' downturn in mid-2024, when it turns out that Austin Hays' weirdly hostile Bibleposting before Pride Night was the true culprit. Just kidding; it's a "yes, and". 86 the finance bro jersey patches, and whatever you do, don't bring back Mr. Glass.

Current mood:

Boy howdy, does this suck. I'm glad @cnet.com let self-described "Potterhead" Abrar Al-Heeti take on this assignment.

Big day for Craigs.

Don't you love it when a big account snatches up your picture and doesn't even bother to give you a shout-out for it? I sure fucking do.

Shane Bieber's mustache is Dave Stieb cosplay, right?

I adopted the Brewers as a "second" rooting interest during the Orioles' last tanking period, and Ueck was a big factor. Hope the Crew can finish the job in his memory this October.

Spotted on the Roba Family Farms pumpkin walk in North Abington Township, PA. Go Phils!

"Thank you, Sarah!" Gotta do the Wiggum voice though. No, I don't live with anyone named Sarah.

This organization is so dumb. Obfuscation and secrecy for its own sake. #orioles

As always, CB stands for "Could Be".

the cultural crisis is straightforward: there are no longer any formal consequences for blatantly anti-social behavior, and the rest of us are constantly just getting lectured that we have to put up with these assholes making our lives worse

Ms Olive is sick and we could really use your help! Looks like she needs to have at least one of her salivary glands surgically removed. It's very difficult for her to swallow anything right now. It's scary and I hate it. I've got to get her to the vet ASAP. Plz share!

Given Tony Mansolino's...discursive speaking style, I shudder to think how he might express himself if anyone thinks to ask him about a pitcher taking his turn on a religious holiday.

Let it be known that I do not endorse the actions and words of any other Kevins.

And here's a genuinely funny photo where one of the greatest first basemen of all time looks like he's checking me out.

On Saturdays we meet Hall of Famers. Steady Eddie Murray with yours truly and my better half. #orioles

How can you not be romantic about 84 year-old Boog Powell going ape shit with a garden hose in September of a lost season?

What time is it? Time for me to yell at Johnny Olszewski. FFS.

Cody Asche, Tommy Joseph, Sherman Johnson: name 'em and shame 'em. O's need to rebuild their offensive approach from the ground up.

Six pitch inning for the O's offense. Two for each of our hitting coaches!

Update: second walkoff win I've seen in five days, fourth for the O's on the homestand. Dylan Beavers delivered the RBI single in the 10th inning, and the beer is surely cold.

Live report from Camden Yards: it's a bit damp. #orioles

On this date in 1971, the Milwaukee Brewers announced the hiring of Bob Uecker as a broadcaster.

Here's the video of Michael Bourn to Manny Machado to Matt Wieters to seal a 5-4 Orioles win over the Rays in September 2016. One of Joe Angel's greatest calls.

My Guy-Remembering Grid features nine #orioles who were unlikely heroes in games I attended (2009-2021). 🧵 1/10

Number of starts/innings pitched: Skubal 26/166 Brown 25/149 Crochet 26/166.1 Rogers 13/81.1 I don't have words for what Trevor Rogers has done since mid-June. #orioles

Number of starts/innings pitched: Skubal 26/166 Brown 25/149 Crochet 26/166.1 Rogers 13/81.1 I don't have words for what Trevor Rogers has done since mid-June. #orioles

I guess if Jim Palmer wanders into the Birdland Members Clubhouse while I'm housing free popcorn and soda, I owe it to myself to thank him for the complete game win over Vida Blue and the Royals on my birthday. #orioles www.baseball-reference.com/boxes/BAL/BA...

But I don't like Mr. First Base Diaz! Adventures in closed captioning. #orioles

Not just a Mets fan Stoolie, but one who has spent the last three weeks tweeting shitty complaints about Cedric Mullins! The Orioles are actively trying to push me away, and that's the cherry on the shit sundae that has been 2025.

As true today as when it was written.

Has anyone pointed out that the guy Trump brought out for his physical fitness announcement had a heart attack in his late 40s, likely due to massive steroid abuse, and isn't allowed to exercise any more

Yes, the state of it. #orioles

Who's going to print up the "SCOCCA WAS RIGHT" tees? Camden Yards should be full of them for these next two dismal months.

Ain't the beer cold! Orioles 16, Blue Jays 4; Orioles 3, Blue Jays 2. The O's had 4 HR, 19 hits, & 5 sac flies in G1. G2: Gunnar Henderson & Adley Rutschman hit back-to-back doubles in the 8th for the lead. Corbin Martin: 1st career save a day after his 1st win in 6+ years.

Let's hear it for Orioles RHP Corbin Martin, who relieved Zach Eflin with one out in the fifth inning and the tying runs on base. He struck out four of the six batters he faced and earned his first major league win since his debut (May 12, 2019!).

Hulk Hogan was incredibly, absurdly high up the list of all-time terrible people to have ever been associated with wrestling, perhaps only bested by people who profited from him. He spent the last years of his life making life in America cartoonishly worse and went out to the boos of WWE fans.

O's lose 11-1. Grayson Rodriguez was shut down again with elbow troubles. Kyle Stowers hits 2 more HR, including a walkoff. And Ben McDonald falls 25 feet from a deer stand. Can we go down to Eutaw Street and burn some sage (along with the T. Rowe Price patches and Mike Elias' contract)?

Justice for @dabryceisright.bsky.social. Don Callis is a menace. #AEWAllIn

Stop booing, piss babies. #Orioles

I just turned on MLB Big Inning and the first thing I saw was Bryan Baker giving up a 2-run single to Ceddanne Rafaela. He came in with a 3-1 lead, walked Story and Gonzalez, gave up a run-scoring double to Mayer, then the Rafaela hit to make it 4-3 Boston B7. It's been a rough week for him.