Every week that stinky bitch from Florida does okay I get another forehead wrinkle

And if I saw someone steal tampons and erased a minute of footage from aisle 7 then what? I’m new idk how to do this job… 👉👈

I’m kind of exactly like joan of arc except I have ibs

✨ Ooh you want to come to hamburger mary’s this thursday at 8pm so bad… ✨ ooh you want to see some fierce 80’s puss… ✨ ooh you want to make a reservation at the link below…✨ ooh you want to tip me with an *dible… ✨

Ash wednesday when ember tuesday walks in the room:

i love my beautiful tranny life…..…

The uptown subway not taking coupons makes my blood boil sooo fiercely! Like whats up with that??? God forbid a lady wants a $6 footlong 🙄

✨ Ooh you want to come to hamburger mary’s this thursday at 8pm so bad… ✨ ooh you want to see some fierce 80’s puss… ✨ ooh you want to make a reservation at the link below…✨ ooh you want to tip me with an *dible… ✨

THURSDAY

The clark/lake stairs from the brown line to the blue line feels like the backrooms

This hangover can go rot in hell and gargle piss cause whyyyy does my head feel like it’s going to explode AND implode

Do you ever just say to yourself, “I think I want to be puss at this party”, and then you’re puss at the party? 💋

Guys I finally figured how to shake my ass 2026 is my yyeaaarrrr

Ooh I hope that stinky bitch from Florida goes home tonight

Almost 2 months nic free, won’t lie the urge to buy a vape is really strong especially since it’s the valentines season but I know I have the strength to pull through despite 😌

I need to study harder so I can get an A+ cup instead of an A 😔

Going to 3 different Aldi’s just so I can get a $2 bag of oranges

I scooped out all the lint from the dryer machine in my complex and now I feel like I could fix a car, mechanic fish 🔧

Lowkey ran out of my mones but my refill appt is in 3 days so now I’m just like

Holy shit that man is so hot

Is 2026 the year I become a u-haul bisexual??

If @umstacky.bsky.social doesn’t get a hosting position at buddy’s after tn, I’ll have next to nothing to live for this year

Why is she gooning in a toga

2/10, the nuggets were quite pitiful in size + utterly incinerated, frankly I’ve had bigger portions and better tasting food at a h*liday *nn

About to try taco bell nuggets for the first time, watch this space

Beta Fish Im your biggest fan

Baby Betta fish is gonna gag everytime yall are sleeping on her fr

I’ve been on estrogen for 2 years give it up for me guys

Monday’s a very big day for me (2 year hrt anniversary) and I’ll be celebrating by getting absolutely hammered and watching the entirety of drag race france s2 without subtitles :)

Thousands of people filled the streets of downtown Minneapolis in protest of federal immigration enforcement for the second consecutive Friday. 📷️: Aaron Lavinsky

Ate a milkshake with a spoon, smoked weed, and now it’s yay-I’m-a-girl mirror selfie hour™️

smoke circle at the burger joint is crazy

FUCK. ICE. FUCK THESE PIGS.

Instant mood boost today, holy shit 😭

Recovery has just been yogurt this, mashed potatoes that, soup this, smoothies that- oh my godddd idc like when can a girl eat butt again?? 🙄 🙄

Clawing at the walls for this app to add drafts as a feature

What if the oral surgeon gives me FFS as a treat

Redownloaded the apps and I remembered that 99% of men are strange and weird but in a scary way and not in a cool way :(

I’m sorry but the snow is making the sidewalk look like a delectable piece of brie that I just wanna take a big chunk out of

Never talk to me about coolattas because I remember when I was working at dunkin and a vanilla bean coolatta used to be $2.99 and now no matter where you go it’s always $5+. It is LITERALLY just MILK, SYRUP, AND ICE!!!

I ❤️ the GVD CTA train

3 weeks nic free and I feel like I could swim all the way across the lake for fun

We need to introduce article of Impeachment for Ryan Murphy

My dental bill being the same price as my rent is why I believe we as a queer collective should just start robbing banks

straight state sanctioned murder with zero accountability

Mmmmm… mones…

Do you like drag race? 😊 Do you like drag? 🥰 Do you like seeing 4 women of stunning feminine perfection perform consecutively? 😍😍😍 Then come to The Annoyance on January 2nd for the kickoff of Season 18! It’s a ki, it’s a laugh, it’s 18+, and most importantly it’s free!! See you there 💋

Just got a tv for the first time in my life and the first thing I’m watching is roxxxy andrews’ performance of no one gets the prize

IN: actually posting fat c*ck on fcf OUT: american cheese singles