Signed off an email with ‘all the armrests’.

Up til 2am terrified at Trump’s nuclear threat, followed by dream of sharing crudités with Jacob Elordi.

My disco auntie was so excited to meet the baby for the first time that People from Ibiza poured out of her before she could stop herself.

I can say it now that it’s gone, I had a Wikipedia page for 3 months in 2025, before its author was deemed a controversial user and it was taken down. No it wasn’t me.

Just seen Pete Townshend tenderly regarding busker doing rendition of Robyn’s Dancing on My Own for voice and guitar in Trafalgar Sq.

Missed a trick not calling my son Quokka as a middle name.

Excellent round-up of small press leaders on the current crisis, interviewed by @lucymercer.bsky.social @twoseriousladies.bsky.social in @literaryhub.bsky.social, including my publisher @tiltedaxispress.bsky.social lithub.com/life-giving-...

Are you even a translator if you haven’t partaken in a Found in Translation panel discussion.

Caught Francesco addressing the baby as Slavoj Zizek. This is getting out of hand.

Down n out in Pisa and Livorno.

Two of the nicknames we have found ourselves using for the baby are Google and Vevo.

Made a start on the baby’s Halloween costume.

Arcane Millennial motherhood is soothing your son to the Duck Tales theme tune.

Had not foreseen the baby would be such a Sinatra stan.

The Bible warns you about bringing forth children in pain, but mentions nothing about having to suck the snot out of their nose with a thin tube.

We are delighted to announce the #GoldsmithsPrize2025 shortlist. Congratulations to our six brilliant novelists! Find out more about the shortlist: www.gold.ac.uk/goldsmiths-p...

The more ungenerous a contemporary novelist is the better the reviews.

Partner says the baby looks like Pope Leo XIV.

My son’s hunger cue is Beavis laugh.

Logged back into Facebook for a hot second and I’m getting friendship suggestions for both Faris from The Cribs and Gad Lerner.

Dream that Eddie Vedder was playing saxophone in a mall in Canada but the stair system was really complicated so when I got there his slot has ended but he told me everything about this ‘star wrap’ he was imminently planning to order from KFC.

Between Oasis stans and Lana fans I’m no longer sure I have any true friends.

Nobody talks about how Gilles Deleuze and Christopher Lloyd are played by the same actor.

The British urge to misspell ‘definitely’ as ‘defiantly’.

The man got back home by breaking the glass with his elbow. He tidied the tables made a coffee for the women asleep in the corner. ⁑ Five poems by Carmen Gallo, translated from Italian by Livia Franchini (@twoseriousladies.bsky.social) ⁑ circumferencemag.com/five-apartme...

Dream I dated Mark E. Smith and he made me peaches and cream and set alight a bottle of sage green nail polish inside an empty packet of pickled onion Monster Munch in an underground parking lot to impress me.

To think we’re sending Katy Perry to space but couldn’t come up with a better invention against rain than the humble umbrella.

Well I must simply bulk buy.

Nothing riles me up more than a native speaker’s incapacity for tense coordination.

To the tune of ROSÉ & Bruno Mars - APT. OS-TEO-P-ATH OS-TEO-P-ATH

You haven’t hit peak millennial until you’ve had 12 office floors evacuated for your burnt avocado toast.

Anyone else see the trashy crime writer in the Spectator talk about how it’s a good job only trashy novels sell anymore?

Thing is people quite like it when you say obvious things on the internet.

Question for the homies: do you reckon I have vocal fry?

My urban planner dad was alarmed by my WhatsApp description ‘negative capability’ because he thought it referred to landfill.

Coupla sad capitalist things to start your Sunday.

Publishing hair.

Brutish Library.

Woke up with L’Internationale stuck in my head.

Imagine spending £60 on a Monster MOnch necklace.

The Millennial urge to keep writing novels mulling over that 2013 article on avocado toast and mortgages.

The number of students I’ve imposed Stephen King’s Four Seasons upon 🤡

Uh.

I’ll take any lifestyle over one that involves subletting (active or passive) in Berlin.

Weekend vibe.

The first poem in PERVERSE 7I is ‘If I had to pick a single image’ by Livia Franchini. Read the others here: perverse.substack.com/p/perverse-7i

I had the sweetest dream last night. I was driving on the LIE and there was Donald Trump in a red jumpsuit, picking up trash beside the highway.

Everyone talking about book blurbing but I haven’t seen a single take about the new Simon & Schuster guy’s unicorn hair.