9yo, who always sees things in black and white with no shades of grey, has just told me off for celebrating Andrew Tate getting knocked out in a boxing match. He hates AT but he still thinks I'm awful. Perhaps one day he'll appreciate that some people just deserve their heads kicking in.

I heard a bird sing In the dark of December A magical thing And sweet to remember "We are nearer to Spring Than we were in September" I heard a bird sing In the dark of December - Oliver Herford #NationalRobinDay #WinterSolstice

Me: 'I've got a gingerbread house to do with the boys, think we'll do it tomorrow.' MIL: 'Oh I've got one here too! Do you want it?' Me: 'Thanks but it's ok, I've got one already.' MIL: 'Thats a shame. No one else will have it because it's from last year and the best before is June.'

My 4yo distinguishes between his grandparents as 'Grandma and Grandad with Buddy' and 'Grandma and Grandad without Buddy'. Buddy:

I mentioned I'd like to go back to having my hair this length and 9yo was APPALLED. Said I look, and I quote 'infested'. I haven't had a haircut for 18 months, but I live in hope I won't look like a bag lady for the rest of my days 🙃

This whole thread is a JOURNEY

Wait, didn't everybody already know about David Walliams? I know nothing about anything and I knew he was a sex pest. Why are his publishers only dropping him now? Not as bankable any more, is it?

Ok, so we're friends again. Out of office is finally on, almost all of the pressies are wrapped (just a few other little bits to buy and wrap), cards are written and last few just need to be delivered. Christmas holidays are here and not a moment too soon ❤️

Question: if you were going into hospital for a procedure (general anaesthetic, overnight stay, reasonably routine but not without risk), what little treats might make it more bearable?

9yo has been particularly difficult since coming home two hours ago. I've kept very calm with him but must confess I had a few tears after some of the abuse. Littlest said 'You don't like 9yo today?' Me: 'I LOVE 9yo. I love him every day.' 4yo: 'You just don't like his *behaviour*?'

Intrusive thoughts be a-intrusivin' tonight.

I'm so very ready for this term to be over.

Less than a week until Christmas and my SIL tells me we need to spend £100 each on presents for each child and make sure they're wrapped so their grandparents have something to give them on Christmas Day. They'll give us the money back though, which is definitely the important thing here.

Last day on site completed until January. Working from home tomorrow and then that out of office is going ON.

Stay safe out there y'all

Do you have asthma and an Apple device? I’m trying to be better about keeping track of my inhaler usage and putting data into the Health app, so I made this Apple Shortcut for my iPhone. www.icloud.com/shortcuts/32... Please can you test it out to see if I’ve missed anything?

This was the first thing I saw when I opened the app and for one glorious moment, I thought Trump was dead.

This poor child's name is Oceana. Oceana spelt O'Shyanne.

Had a bit of trouble deciphering who this Christmas card was from, received by my 4yo. With the help of his older brother, we've figured it out. Any guesses? It's a corker.

Adore the British-themed mural in my hotel in Valletta, including: yassified Virgin Queen, Churchill with pigeon, and for some reason General Rochambeau (not very British? like really pointedly not? did they think he was Nelson? wrong number of arms for a start) in a Spitfire that says “dong” on it

A friend of mine who has had multiple miscarriages and still no baby has shared something on Facebook about things to avoid saying at Christmas on fertility (including unsolicited advice) and the only comment is someone telling her she should use ovulation kits. The outrage I feel on her behalf!

I read A Place of Greater Safety by Hilary Mantel, which was published years ago but was new to me. I absolutely adored it, it's sparked off a new deep interest for me and I'm planning to re-read it as soon as I get it back from the friend I've lent it to ❤️

Eldest's nativity play today. Perhaps I'm biased, but I really think Shepherd Number Two, with his wonky tea towel on head and Minecraft socks, was definitely the star of the show.

Right so he woke up eleventy billion times during the night, as usual, but otherwise he slept until half past six! Over fourteen hours sleep! Apparently December is doing a number on every single member of our family 😭

He's been asleep since 4.15 😫 I'm getting ready for a 2am wake up, but I tried so hard to wake him so many times and he just wasn't having it. He's shattered, and I know the feeling.

Christ, that footage from Bondi Beach. Absolute horror. The smiling faces of the dead. A ten year old girl. A Holocaust survivor. Unthinkable.

4yo is so shattered and just screaming every time we try to wake him. Might just give up and put him to bed now, deal with a 4am wake up time in the morning when it happens.

Littlest's first Nativity play this morning. Nothing quite like the sight of him sulking on a stage in a Lightning McQueen Christmas jumper, refusing to dress up, stand up or join in; Mary dropping baby Jesus on his head; one of the wise men throwing a wobbly. Wouldn't have missed it for the world 🤗

4yo: 'Mammy, are you very old?' (A regular question) Me: 'Yes. I'm the oldest mammy in the world.' 4yo: 'Yay! Oldest mammy in the world! And the best mammy in the world!'

Sad to hear that Karen and Carlos are estranged from Harry and Meghan - hopefully they can patch things up soon.

Woke up at 3.15 today and Phil was up for the gym (5am) before I dropped back off. Alarm is usually 5.45. Had a horrific dream about one of my children and it took me a long time to settle down again afterwards. Not looking forward to the three hour training session I've got booked this afternoon 😫

Really awful news. It's been a weekend full of really awful news.

9yo: 'I'm going to write a new story. It's called Alpha.' Me, on high alert: 'Why is it called that? Where have you heard that?' 9yo: 'Daddy asked me the same thing! What's wrong with Alpha? I heard it on a David Attenborough programme and it's about wolves!'

Oh come on now, period tracker. No one wants their Periods Unwrapped.

Been to see a little Christmas show this afternoon. Not a panto - just a two person show with a couple of puppets and songs, set in Durham. Was v sweet. Thought it might give us an idea of whether littlest would sit still for a show. Anyway, that answers that question, I might try again in 10 years.

Saw my in-laws yesterday and my SIL was SO condescending about 9yo and his flexi-schooling that I actually woke during the night, thinking about it and it playing on my mind. Suggesting I wasn't clever enough to home school him (even though he home schools once a week, and I'm a qualified teacher).

I saw this and it reminded me of when eldest was three or so and he loved Chip from Beauty and the Beast. But he couldn't say Chip, so called him Shit. My dad was once taken aback by him dancing round the sitting room singing 'I'm a little shit! I'm a little shit!' to himself.

Eleven years ago today ❤️

Just (foolishly) tried to move 4yo back to his own bed, and as I lifted him said 'Come on smelly, time to put you in the bin' but he must have been half awake because he started shouting 'No no no no no I don't want to go in the bin I want to be in Mammy's bed!' and then started sobbing 😢 Whoops.

Wedding anniversary tomorrow. We have a free Saturday and no plans 🙌🏼🙌🏼🙌🏼 Suggestions welcome, Bluesky pals! We will have kids in tow.

School meeting this morning which went... Well? The expert SENCO was v clued up on PDA and said immediately school need to be reducing his anxiety if they want to prevent outbursts & staff need training on low demand language. Feel like bursting into song: 'What is this feeling, so sudden and new?'

Anyone got a good dad book recommendation (for my father in law) - you know, he likes Le Carré, Len Deighton, Patrick O'Brian, and I have had success in the past with books from the British Library Golden Age Classic Crime reprints

9yo drew me 'a capybara buying a heavy glitter ball' as part of my birthday present (🥰) so now it's in the corner of my monitor, cheering me up at work ❤️

Update: managed to get back to sleep eventually. Eardrum still in one piece (for the moment. I don't hold out much hope of it staying that way). Time to load up on paracetamol, stick on a mask, and drag myself into work where I'm the only manager in today 😫

Awake because I suspect my ear drum is about to burst again, care of whatever I have wiping me out at the moment. This has happened four, maybe five, times in my life now? It never gets less excruciating. Do not recommend.

Strangely put out by another parent commenting on a post about the music performance today saying 'the boy on the trumpet was best!' There were 4 soloists, all of whom were 9 or 10. Singling out one seems mean spirited, and I'm sure I'd feel that way even if one of my kids hadn't been one of them.

Just in case any of you have kids who ask for this stuff, let me save you the bother: it's absolutely foul.

School music concert this afternoon, for the kids learning instruments. Had absolutely no idea 9yo was playing a trombone solo until it started. He did brilliantly ❤️

Downstairs making breakfast this morning and I hear the dulcet tones of my children arguing. Two minutes later and littlest comes downstairs sobbing. 'Mammy! 9yo called me a penis!'

4yo is adamant he isn't involved in his school nativity because he 'doesn't like dressing up'. I said he could still play a part but wear his school uniform instead of a costume? He glowered at me and said 'I. Do. Not. Like. Dressing. Up.' So there's me told.