Tim Lyons
@thetimlyons.bsky.social
📤 98
📥 70
📝 36
There's only two type of weather in Chicago, Giordano's and Al's Beef. Listen to FUDGECAST
reposted by
Tim Lyons
Jim Daley
6 days ago
I'm at the scene where ICE abducted multiple people from Lincoln and Foster this morning. A WGN producer was among the people taken, allegedly because she was among a group of bystanders who tried to intervene. ICE agents hit this car while making their getaway.
0
5572
3184
reposted by
Tim Lyons
Craig R. Brittain
12 days ago
Kat Abughazaleh: ICE lies. That's kind of their thing.
loading . . .
54
2087
515
reposted by
Tim Lyons
Tim Onion
13 days ago
I am just so fucking proud of her.
loading . . .
214
14562
3763
Happy Birthday to me
loading . . .
about 1 month ago
0
3
0
Crazy what makes the news
loading . . .
about 1 month ago
0
4
1
Trying stand up for the first time
loading . . .
3 months ago
0
3
1
Release the list of names of the guys who bought bottled up farts from that woman online in 2020, almost killing her from making her fart so much.
3 months ago
0
3
0
If you end up making a movie about this guy, just offer it up Tracey Letts. Looks like him, sounds like him, it's a freebie.
add a skeleton here at some point
6 months ago
0
1
0
Another lesson for da club
loading . . .
6 months ago
0
1
0
Like weed, coughing after sipping whiskey that goes down the wrong pipe gets you drunker. I do it on purpose.
6 months ago
0
2
0
Sure 🔥way to pick up any girl at da club
loading . . .
7 months ago
0
3
0
Day 6,652 of resisting the urge to go downtown and f**k the bean. Today was hard.
7 months ago
0
2
0
Seeking 6 guys who want to transform their lives over the next 4 months and love burgers. Must be willing to go to war against a rival family of 5 burger lovers. DM for details.
7 months ago
0
1
0
After reading all the day’s terrible news, it’s nice to unwind by having my mother, who hasn’t spoken to anyone all day, recap all of the day’s terrible news back to me in an absolute panic.
8 months ago
0
2
0
reposted by
Tim Lyons
Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez
8 months ago
Yesterday’s live is now on YouTube:
m.youtube.com/watch?featur...
add a skeleton here at some point
782
22624
4747
reposted by
Tim Lyons
Dan White
8 months ago
Oh hell yes.
0
70
10
Woke up screaming from a nightmare where my ass got pinched by one of those rolling slides at Discovery Zone.
9 months ago
1
3
1
Thanks to my son for giving me my daily news!
#thedailyduke
loading . . .
9 months ago
0
2
0
My last TikTok on old TikTok.
#dating
#videos
#tiktokban
#relationships
loading . . .
9 months ago
0
2
0
So sick
loading . . .
9 months ago
0
1
1
*Me using a vacuum my mom has had and used her entire life* My mom: oh my god what is that noise!?
9 months ago
0
2
0
My wife said she’ll divorce me if I say “my spider sense is tingling” one more time after I use the hearing aid feature on my new AirPod Pros.
9 months ago
0
1
1
Not sure if gingers have souls but I know that if we kill someone in a dream they die in real life.
10 months ago
0
3
0
I like to leave my inbox wide open on Black Friday and let the emails roll in! There’s so many great deals and steals! Then when I have all my little emails together, I tuck them into their own folder and unsubscribe from them one by one. Smiling, I bathe in their blood.
11 months ago
0
2
0
All my cousins banging on the bathroom door 40 minutes after dinner, shit filling up their pants. My legs are asleep, my ass cheeks are red and I'm 30 minutes into a perfect Balatro run on my phone. I can't stop now. I won't stop now.
11 months ago
1
4
2
reposted by
Tim Lyons
Dan White
11 months ago
Hosting Thanksgiving this year
3
189
14
My heart goes out to anyone with perfect pitch going to a Wicked sing along this weekend and sitting in front of someone belting flat notes the entire time. Stay strong.
11 months ago
0
3
0
No matter how horny you might be just know you’ll never be as horny as the guy who comments “I hope you’re having a beautiful day” on a woman’s workout TikTok.
11 months ago
0
3
0
Coming this fall to MAX. Every family has a secret family.
11 months ago
0
5
1
I’ve seen Frankenstein’s monster somewhere before…
loading . . .
11 months ago
1
2
0
Restarting my weight loss journey here BlueSky! Here we go!
11 months ago
2
10
0
You go to back up and see this. wyd?
11 months ago
1
1
0
I got fired from my GF’s Only Fans for loving her to hard (cumming to quick) but this dude Mark from Craigslist she found lasts so long and has a PHD (smarts) so it’ll be better for her brand in the long run. I can finally get back to editing full time! Welcome to the team Mark!
11 months ago
0
1
0
I’m so damn polite like when someone says “let’s talk tonight” I keep myself alive all day so they don’t have to deal with that being the last thing they said to me.
11 months ago
0
1
1
Nothing but bangers
11 months ago
0
1
1
reposted by
Tim Lyons
Dan White
11 months ago
This is what happens when I try to be vulnerable
0
72
4
Spooky Girl Get Down
loading . . .
12 months ago
0
0
0
Owned?
loading . . .
12 months ago
0
1
0
Truly the best spot to just clear my head and get some writing done.
over 1 year ago
0
0
0
Donny D with the rizz
over 1 year ago
0
1
0
you reached the end!!
feeds!
log in