Tim Lyons
@thetimlyons.bsky.social
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There's only two type of weather in Chicago, Giordano's and Al's Beef. Listen to FUDGECAST
Those Jeeps with headlights that make them look angry always scare me on the road but I prefer it to the VW Bugs with eyes lashes that make me horny.
7 months ago
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I could see myself getting married here.
7 months ago
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Tim Lyons
Jim Daley
8 months ago
I'm at the scene where ICE abducted multiple people from Lincoln and Foster this morning. A WGN producer was among the people taken, allegedly because she was among a group of bystanders who tried to intervene. ICE agents hit this car while making their getaway.
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Craig R. Brittain
8 months ago
Kat Abughazaleh: ICE lies. That's kind of their thing.
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Tim Onion
8 months ago
I am just so fucking proud of her.
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Happy Birthday to me
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9 months ago
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Crazy what makes the news
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9 months ago
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Trying stand up for the first time
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10 months ago
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Release the list of names of the guys who bought bottled up farts from that woman online in 2020, almost killing her from making her fart so much.
11 months ago
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If you end up making a movie about this guy, just offer it up Tracey Letts. Looks like him, sounds like him, it's a freebie.
add a skeleton here at some point
about 1 year ago
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Another lesson for da club
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about 1 year ago
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Like weed, coughing after sipping whiskey that goes down the wrong pipe gets you drunker. I do it on purpose.
about 1 year ago
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Sure 🔥way to pick up any girl at da club
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about 1 year ago
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Day 6,652 of resisting the urge to go downtown and f**k the bean. Today was hard.
about 1 year ago
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Seeking 6 guys who want to transform their lives over the next 4 months and love burgers. Must be willing to go to war against a rival family of 5 burger lovers. DM for details.
about 1 year ago
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After reading all the day’s terrible news, it’s nice to unwind by having my mother, who hasn’t spoken to anyone all day, recap all of the day’s terrible news back to me in an absolute panic.
over 1 year ago
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Tim Lyons
Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez
over 1 year ago
Yesterday’s live is now on YouTube:
m.youtube.com/watch?featur...
add a skeleton here at some point
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Dan White
over 1 year ago
Oh hell yes.
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Woke up screaming from a nightmare where my ass got pinched by one of those rolling slides at Discovery Zone.
over 1 year ago
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Thanks to my son for giving me my daily news!
#thedailyduke
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over 1 year ago
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My last TikTok on old TikTok.
#dating
#videos
#tiktokban
#relationships
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over 1 year ago
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So sick
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over 1 year ago
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*Me using a vacuum my mom has had and used her entire life* My mom: oh my god what is that noise!?
over 1 year ago
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My wife said she’ll divorce me if I say “my spider sense is tingling” one more time after I use the hearing aid feature on my new AirPod Pros.
over 1 year ago
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Not sure if gingers have souls but I know that if we kill someone in a dream they die in real life.
over 1 year ago
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I like to leave my inbox wide open on Black Friday and let the emails roll in! There’s so many great deals and steals! Then when I have all my little emails together, I tuck them into their own folder and unsubscribe from them one by one. Smiling, I bathe in their blood.
over 1 year ago
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All my cousins banging on the bathroom door 40 minutes after dinner, shit filling up their pants. My legs are asleep, my ass cheeks are red and I'm 30 minutes into a perfect Balatro run on my phone. I can't stop now. I won't stop now.
over 1 year ago
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Dan White
over 1 year ago
Hosting Thanksgiving this year
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My heart goes out to anyone with perfect pitch going to a Wicked sing along this weekend and sitting in front of someone belting flat notes the entire time. Stay strong.
over 1 year ago
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No matter how horny you might be just know you’ll never be as horny as the guy who comments “I hope you’re having a beautiful day” on a woman’s workout TikTok.
over 1 year ago
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Coming this fall to MAX. Every family has a secret family.
over 1 year ago
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I’ve seen Frankenstein’s monster somewhere before…
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over 1 year ago
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Restarting my weight loss journey here BlueSky! Here we go!
over 1 year ago
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You go to back up and see this. wyd?
over 1 year ago
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I got fired from my GF’s Only Fans for loving her to hard (cumming to quick) but this dude Mark from Craigslist she found lasts so long and has a PHD (smarts) so it’ll be better for her brand in the long run. I can finally get back to editing full time! Welcome to the team Mark!
over 1 year ago
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I’m so damn polite like when someone says “let’s talk tonight” I keep myself alive all day so they don’t have to deal with that being the last thing they said to me.
over 1 year ago
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Nothing but bangers
over 1 year ago
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reposted by
Tim Lyons
Dan White
over 1 year ago
This is what happens when I try to be vulnerable
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Spooky Girl Get Down
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over 1 year ago
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Owned?
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over 1 year ago
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Truly the best spot to just clear my head and get some writing done.
over 2 years ago
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Donny D with the rizz
over 2 years ago
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you reached the end!!
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