Rewatching the show New Girl is so interesting because you eventually get to the episode where the group is split between voting for Clinton and Trump and it’s like: “Ah, they’ve documented the moment society began to decay into madness.”

In a league that often throws caution (and points) to the wind, it’s nice to finally have an adult in charge of one of Germany’s biggest clubs. Niko Kovac’s Dortmund team are boring. But he doesn’t care. And that’s brilliant. youtu.be/YxID6z4JyjQ

New #Bundesliga Gegenpressing Pod. @sbienkowski.bsky.social and I chat: 🏴󠁧󠁢󠁥󠁮󠁧󠁿Harry Kane continues to break records 🦅Chaotic Eintracht Frankfurt 🐂RB Leipzig's latest army of wonderkids 🐝Kovac's new Dortmund www.youtube.com/watch?v=cFq_...

Reading the BBC news article on Reform’s horrible immigration “plans” and it just sums up how useless the news is at covering modern politics. There’s absolutely nothing in it that explains why these “plans” are completely unobtainable. It’s just what Reform said. And what rival politicians said.

A dull, boring win for Dortmund. Aside from a shot that smacked off the crossbar and bounced off the line, Wolfsburg offered very little in attack. It wasn’t very entertaining but it was competent. Which is becoming more and more apparent under Niko Kovac. Less chaos, more points.

I get the criticism of Man City today. Pep absolutely did channel his inner Mourinho. But bear in mind that Man City have been wide open this season. The highest xG against in last five seasons before today. Only way they were getting something from this game was with a solid defence.

Karim Adeyemi has just scored an exceptional goal for Dortmund. That’s four goals and assists in his first five games of the season.

That’s an incredible goal

I’m not expert but maybe Arteta should try not playing three central midfielders and three defensive midfielders in a bid to score some goals in the second half.

I know Man Utd are winning by two goals but is there a way we can make sure both these teams lose this match? What a dreadful game.

Shame Maresca pulled all his attacking players off 😂

I am beginning to worry about Florian Wirtz in this Liverpool team. Not because he’s not good enough. But because it’s so well drilled to funnel every attack out to the wings. Every okay has to go via Salah. I think he gets lost in that.

It’s Man Utd vs Chelsea today. Two goliaths of the Premier League and perhaps the division’s biggest fallen giants when we consider the money both clubs have spent to relatively little success. transfermarkt.co.uk/s/kYa5

That we have spent our lives begrudgingly rolling back the pollution and destruction of the previous generation but no matter what we do the next generation will probably still resent us for being somewhat complicit in it all.

I don’t really believe in the concept of British exceptionalism in any sense, but these little beauties from M&S could probably change my mind…

New #Bundesliga Gegenpressing Show. @sbienkowski.bsky.social and I discuss another mad night of #UCL football: 🦅Frankfurt smash Galatasaray 💰Why Can Uzun is a player to watch 💊Leverkusen struggle vs Copenhagen 🇺🇸Tillman struggling with expectations? www.youtube.com/watch?v=DZAN...

That’s an insane goal from Rashford.

That was an appalling dive from Gordon 😂

Newcastle just haven’t made the most of their possession. Gordon, Barnes and Elanga can run into space all night long, but none of them have been clinical enough. Only a matter of time before Barca eventually scored.

If you’re wondering who the next player Eintracht Frankfurt will sell for around €100m is, I’ll tell you right now: it’s Can Uzun. The 19-year-old has started the season in incredible form. Tremendous goal tonight against Galatasaray now means 4 goals and 3 assists in first 5 games of the season.

Really bizarre performance from Leverkusen in Copenhagen. Wide open at the back, no midfield to speak of and not much happening up front either. But, somehow, stuck the ball in the net twice and leave with a point. Very fortunate. Poor Copenhagen must be furious.

Grimaldo AGAIN

Stuttgart weren’t a one-man team with Nick Woltemade last season. But they weren’t far off it. So selling him without any real replacement in place feels like a huge problem for the club this season.

This summer the Premier League signed fewer players from foreign leagues and more from other Premier League clubs than at any other point in the last 10 seasons

Stuttgart weren’t a one-man team with Nick Woltemade last season. But they weren’t far off it. So selling him without any real replacement in place feels like a huge problem for the club this season.

When Chelsea signed Cole Palmer for €47m in 2023, it seemed a little steep given he’d only played 492 PL minutes. 100 games on and he’s likely to go down as one of the league’s best ever signings. Staggering numbers.

Impressive win for Bayern in the end. I wasn't sure how the second half would play out, since Chelsea more or less gifted their hosts two goals in the first but still looked dangerous on the attack, but Maresca's side more or less capitulated in the second half.

Bayern 3-2 Palmer

Pretty even game so far. Chelsea more or less gifted Bayern two goals, but are perhaps more threatening from open play. Kompany really needs his team to show a little more composure in the second half. They need to take control of this match.

Lovely goal from Palmer. When they want to, Chelsea can cut this Bayern team open.

Ludicrous from Caicedo. Chelsea have gifted Bayern two goals here

Chelsea caught sleeping there. You can’t leave Olise unmarked in the final third.

Bayern pretty open in the first 5mins. A last minute block from Laimer stops Chelsea from taking the lead.

Arsenal’s strongest starting XI may have only marginally improved this season, but their overall squad has gotten much stronger. Mikel Arteta now has much better options off the bench and that was evident in the wins over Athletic Club and Nottingham Forest:

By my count four of the eight goals tonight were absolutely ludicrous. Plus a penalty. This wasn’t a match dictated by tactics or morale. It was just a complete clusterfuck that ended with both teams settling for a point. So much entertainment. So much confusion.

That looked offside but honestly Ryerson just gave up with the marking there and Dortmund were gifted a penalty so can’t exactly complain that it’s been given.

Harsh penalty call on Juventus, but Dortmund don't care. Bensebaini steps up and makes it 4-2 to Dortmund.

That's a superb goal from Couto. Low shot on the edge of the box into the bottom corner.

Juventus 2-3 Dortmund

And then Juve make it 2-2. Mayhem

Wow. Dortmund hit back immediately. Nmecha with a wonderfully placed shot on the edge of the box. Not even a mintue after the restart.

Absolutely ludicrous goal from Yildiz

That's a super goal from Adeyemi. Almost out of nothing, Dortmund take the lead. Some lovely movement from Guirassy to clear the space for the German to get his shot away.

Dortmund need to up their game here. Gone very quiet and Juventus now hitting them with successive attacks.

Arda Güler. Yikes...

That was a lovely goal. Martinelli's touch and finish. Trossard's flick on. Wonderful.

I know last season saw notable improvements on this point, but ahead of tonight's game Mikel Arteta had won just four out of 12 away games in the Champions League with Arsenal.

This game is all over the place. Nobody really controlling it. I love it.

Bit rash from Rice, there. Daft yellow.

Man City’s average xG against in the Premier League has basically doubled in the last five years. It’s currently more than twice that of Arsenal’s. There’s no way they’re winning anything this season with that defence: tinyurl.com/asuua8d3