Surprised we're not now playing rush goalie

What the fuck was Konsa doing?

As night follows day

Can't sit back for 35 minutes and expect to get away with it

Hydration break

Hydration break

Nice that the BBC have got Joe Hart on as the token native English speaker

"Verify your age"

We're now into day 3 of having to keep the windows closed because of moor fires 30 miles away, in case you're wondering how things are going

Black tie do, tonight, in this heat. I don't expect to make it through alive

Hacker T. Rapist, here

Times like this remind me of how much we miss #conc Tony, the daft sod

All those years with the whole Messi Vs. Ronaldo thing, when there was really no competition. He's also kept the standard going whilst Ronaldo has been plodding around, for years, like he's owed something. Finally, a tax dodger Messi may be, but he never raped anybody

The pastime of Instant Experting has long been an issue on social media but, fuck me, the yanks have leaned right into it since the WC started. And it's more than football, they are suddenly world authorities on absolutely everything, and not just school shootings and incest

Get the actual fuck in

Losing on penalties it is, then

This is the way the world (cup) ends Not with a bang but with a whimper

I'd forgotten Anderson was playing

You can complain about female pundits all you want, but Steph Houghton is the only one here who has English as their first language

Of all the fucking about they've done with the lottery over the years, by now using "You've won a small prize" as the email subject, they've even stripped us of that 20 glorious seconds of anticipation before hitting the ground like a bag of dog shit dropping off a tree branch

When I see those idiots on the apprentice charging 15 quid for a jacket potato with beans, I now get it. I've just paid £14.95 for a pint of Peroni and a Pimms and lemonade on the Thames at Richmond

We're in the car and my missus is insisting we listen to Jeremy Vine. How do people stand this utter fuckin drivel?

Been watching Tip Toe, and have to say it's terrific telly. I loved It's a Sin, and this is very much in the same vein, being by the same writer

I am, for 2 days only, in an air conditioned office. With people. I'd rather be dying in my own office* from the heat *Spare room

It is 46 degrees in the office, with 3 fans going full tilt. The crack of my arse currently:

Kelly Cates is looking quite, quite lovely

Fuck me but this ITV coverage is utter shite

I'm not trying to piss on anybody's chips but, when it comes to general elections, the right get off their arses and vote but the left, generally, don't

Morrissey's previously unheard first draft of "Panic"

Never a pen for the love of fuck

Hydration break insight

I genuinely have no idea who half this England team are #FootyChat

I didn't care what happens in the end, VAR has ruined football

Hey @williamshuttoh.bsky.social with all the hullabaloo about the Makerfield election going on, it's disappointing that someone in the media hasn't yet said "Once home to a toilet roll making compoany owned by Franny Lee"

Elmo has decided a cwtch is in order #Elmo

Back in work after 2 weeks off. Retirement can't come soon enough

Julie Andrews, 1961

I can't ever remember feeling so detached, and so disengaged, from a World Cup

Probably also worth mentioning that Errol Musk had a child with his 22yr old stepdaughter, and has been accused of sexual assault against his own children. Not least by Elon Musk himself

Back home after 9 days in Spain. Sailed through Málaga airport, coming and going, without any delay at all. Don't believe the doomsayers

www.bbc.co.uk/news/article... 8 paragraphs in before the article casually mentions he'd stalked the woman for 22 months. It's no wonder young men think women can be considered property, there for the taking

Butch Dingle

In case you're wondering how the rest of Europe sees us, we're in Spain, and got talking to a Danish couple. She asked us what it was like in England, now that every town and city is overrun with immigrants. She was shocked when she found out they're not but are, in fact, overrun with racists

Had 2 big glasses of fresh orange juice when we took breakfast on the terrace this morning. The result can only be described as having put a road through me

Mijas (a) *I'm driving

"We can't get Steve McManaman. Let's get Steven Gerrard!" There was actually a meeting where that was decided

The biggest grudge Peter Hitchens holds is that he's not his brother. A bit like Phil Neville

Was it Vanity ?