Me, lying on the ground with 4 lassos wrapped around me and a body full of bull-inflicted stab wounds: Well, of course it’s my first fucking rodeo, what the fuck does it look like?!?!

“Bond will be a fresh faced British actor”

Conceding three such easy goals in the first half hour must be extremely demoralising, and makes these lads feel so inadequate and like they don’t deserve or belong in such a competition. Also, three days later, Man City Under 21s are 3 down to us at half time in the Vertu Trophy. #bwfc

Amuse your colleagues by screaming “OH MY GOD, THE CRAPTURE! IT’S HERE!!!” in the office toilet.

F1. Club Wembley seats. Airline/hotel loyalty schemes.

Yeah, I’m not a fan of Pokémon dragons either

Anyone know what time The Rapture starts? I need to put a wash on.

“Go Fash, Lose Cash” is the main message I’m taking from this

Disney can stay fucked off though, can’t it?

@jemmaforte.bsky.social after last week's pod I thought you might like this.......

Frau Nutz’s second attempt at watching a film this evening - after falling asleep ten minutes into the first attempt - lasted less than five minutes. Full of beans in between attempts.

WAITER: “How do you like your fish?” MAN WHO HAS NEVER BEEN TO A RESTAURANT BEFORE: “Errrr…fingered?”

What’s more American than guns and baseball? Demonising baseball when someone gets shot at a baseball stadium next to a carelessly run gun range.

Every day this video appears on my Instagram feed. And every day I watch it, because it makes me howl every single time.

The tangerines you bought on your delusional health kick watching you eat crisps

Emu gives John Stapleton and Nick Owen a right pasting on TVAM.

Every now and then, fourfoot does something earth shatteringly brilliant on social media. This is one of those somethings. (When he’s not earth shatteringly brilliant on social media, he’s still very good on it)

“Quote post an unfiltered pic” Why the fuck would I want to do that? I’m hideous.

BWAAAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA is the laughter ever going to stop?!?! #bwfc

🎶 get DOWN on it 🎶

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA <deep breath> HAAAAAAAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA I’ve never seen a club - any club - take an absolute battering as bitterly or as badly as this. Comments disabled on their IG account last night, and now this. What a weekend Right, onto the next opponents. #bwfc

Decided to wait until the morning to come back to this - Favourite 10 TV Comedies (in no particular order) The Smell of Reeves & Mortimer Phoenix Nights The Day Today Always Sunny Porridge Police Squad! The Young Ones Father Ted Shooting Stars The Simpsons

Only got as far as Keele services since the final whistle. Don’t care. We’ve put those pie wankers back in their box. Ha. Ha. #bwfc

#bwfc Fanzone update - Saturday Kitchen is on, I repeat, Saturday Kitchen is on. We’re back, @ghostofgeraldcid.bsky.social!

This is absolutely brilliant

What in the Spy Vs Spy is this???

Read this, and get really fucking angry. Adults once again ruining kids sport.

RIP Robert Redford

Do I get doxxed and cancelled if I quote Robert Redford verbatim over the next couple of days? They volunteered he was innocent when no one asked if he was guilty. And now we wait… (RIP you hot piece of patootie)

Bloody hell, 70 years in the same job. He must have loved executing people for the Pope.

A list of things I realise only now, while travelling through France on the way to Belgium, I have forgotten: - train snacks - phone charger - shower gel - mini desk fan

People who don’t put their tray in the collecting thing at the end of airport/international travel security belts should be put on a register.

WHAT THE FUCK WAS THE REF UP TO TODAY, THE DIRTY BOLLOCKS????

Gutted I have to watch the Chicago Bears game on Sky Sports tonight, their coverage is BIZZ.

I work for a company whose UK office are a major supplier to JLR, although in the grand scheme of the company it’s a small percentage of our business. But I do know the particular team who rely on JLR business to have a job. In which case….oh-oh….

July 5, 2024: “Have no doubt - that we will rebuild Britain…With wealth created in every community…Everyone treated with dignity and respect at work….And, brick by brick, we will rebuild the infrastructure of opportunity. All of September 2025: “FLAG GOOD, ME LOVE FLAG, FLAG FLAG FLAG”

Really, really sad news about Ricky Hatton. An absolute gent who did great things for his sport, and created some magnificent memories. One of which was looking like @poshkev1963.bsky.social’s cat.

Walking through London today wasn’t as lairy as I thought, although I say that from a position of being far away from what these people think is the enemy. I did hear someone say “our free speech has been taken away”, but didn’t feel it was worth asking precisely what he can’t say that he wants to.

Another all fart and no poo performance. Can’t keep conceding from the only shot on target we allow, it’s not good. But an unbelievable away end, the travelling fans deserve more goals and wins. Not been in limbs like that for a while. #bwfc

In the #bwfc pub, there is one Leyton Orient fan in here. Has been with us since midday. I’ve never seen an opposing fan be embraced by a set of fans in my life. He’s played a blinder here

Make a band singular Onepole Tudor

About to see a bunch of newspapers running photos of the shooter that look like this

An even more Enhanced image: