#softiesunday twofer ft. some random bruise on my left leg.

Sometimes on days like this I wonder what my adult life would have been like if I still had my gallbladder.

Someone come do something about my clogged ear. My ENT appointment is in two weeks and I’m not being very brave about it right now.

Morn. I’m sorry for the poetry I post when I’m half asleep, but to be fair I’m also secretly an idiot.

Himderella stroking his midnight on the crack of Don.

Sorry I missed #fcf Fridge Coffee Friday earlier. Here’s my evening water cup for all the thirsty queers out there.

Virgo: Stop waiting for perfection. Take the pile of shit that is your life and build something.

When the waiter asks if I’m ready to order.

They see me rollin’ (my back knots out) on #thongthursday.

This subway train better leave this fucking station soon, or I SWEAR TO GOD I will continue to wait on it until it does… 👿

NYC

Morning. Happy Thmoky Thursday.

Nighty night babes. Made my morning slop for the next few days, now need to make my evening zzz’s for the next few hours.

Total antsy-pants right now, but 90°+ weather with wildfire smoke AND thunderstorms in the next few hours? What’s a cagey Kage to do?!

Morn. Here’s some butt for Butt Sabbath #humpday

Nighty, queerdos. Kisses please. 😗

I’m in the corner watching you fist him, whoahhhh. Or whatever you think Robyn said.

Or is it my morning coffee?

Tuesdays are for lil’ farmers market strolls.

Never D&Ded before, but RPG tropes be tropin’. What’d D&D class am I?

I’m into it.

#mcm post being important at work. “Attention, HO-scale passengers. The dining car is closed. If the passengers will look to their right, you will see a sad man. That is all."

Is it cyclosporiasis or is it anxiety?

Younger, dumber, drunker #mcm, courtesy of my best friend’s wedding day collection.

Mondays don’t usually feel like Mondays to me. But this fucking Monday feels like a Monday. Morning, you queer thangs.

Nighty. I have over 300 foollowers tricked now 😈 And that wasn’t a typo.

Sleepy, angsty 38-year-old boy listens to sad dancy music while thinking of cottage cheese and carrots for dinner.

For Luke. Now back to my silly little work computer.

I always make sure I have my current read in my bag when I head into work. It’s nice having the weight on my lap while I play my silly little phone games.

Morning Softies. I should be celebrating with everyone today, not getting ready for a 10-hour work day.

Nighty. Hugs & forehead kisses.

My string bean keeps rubbing my back for like 20 seconds then stopping. Should I make him sleep in the guest bedroom?

(⁠◍⁠•⁠ᴗ⁠•⁠◍⁠)

Someone tell me to take out the trash or something. It’s too easy for me to do nothing today.

Morn. Would you still love me if I was a Wurmple?

Nighty. Naked in bed, waiting patiently for my little string bean to come in so I can put my feet all over him.

Going crosseyed looking at silly little screen numbers at work, so here’s 4 random things I like in my apartment.

Happy #fcf Fridge Coffee Friday. Girls just wanna have fun, but boys have to sometimes go to work.

Morning. Let’s smash

Nighty. May you all get 7-8 hours of good sleep tonight, and a quality well-formed BM in the morning.

Gonna sodomize this donut 🫠

Call me a cow, because I’m munching on this green-ass cud and making a ton of methane in my four stomachs right now.

What Pokémon type am I?!

Sometimes you #tbt a little too hard.

Hate when slutty lil’ shorts don’t have pockets.

For those celebrating #fursday, just remember that some of us are going bald from the shins down.

Ever tried showering with the lights out? 😍🫠💦

Hate that I forget to fold my fuckin’ laundry after I putter away for a bit, because then when I putter back I’m reminded that I have to fold my fuckin’ laundry.

Post a photo from 2019

Over here with dry lips and mouth agape. Not because it’s Wednesday, but because I’m a lowkey mouth breather.