1) I could listen to Nick Offerman's giggle all day everyday 2) I could listen to him talk about anything all day everyday

If I were to be any kind of Kong, it wouldn't be donkey.

Since I didn't post it last week and it's humpday here's a momentary peachy glimpse

I gotta go. I'm eating a sandwich.

No one else has the guts to say it but Game Changer has lost its sparkle or is it all part of the season's trickery 🤔

I didn't forget it was twt, I've just been non-stop busy

An apple a day keeps the doctor away. A book a week bsky posting physique.

The only thing I can't do is sing

#mcm to distract from work idiocies

*shuffle plays madonna*

Hello, it's me, a basic gay. Gaysic? Idk. I gotta go run errands and it's a late start. Hate me to yourself.

Don't make me sing

The Kinicks do hockey and basketball? Busy boys.

Eevee the Cat is so not good at Hide & Seek

I don't wanna leave Barnes & Noble because this one annoying lady has tripped TWICE on the escalator to the second floor and I don't wanna miss her inevitable fall going down.

Matching is important even when cleaning the kitchen

It finally happened. The urge to thirst trap but can't manage a decent pic or even an idea for a pic. I didn't think the end of my era would be today or I'd have bought myself celebratory ice cream.

One of the most idiotic tropes is when a character manages to hide the fact they were just smoking a cigarette, especially indoors. In what world would anyone have thought it was believable? I was a smoker. That smell becomes a part of everything in 10 mile radius.

Dear Just Bare, The opening to your bags is too small. One chicken bite can barely sneak out at a time. I have other things to do. Regards, Bite Me Harder

Undergarment-wise

If only my life was that exciting 😆

Between the chaotic song and forgetting to turn stabilization on, it feels like an intense chase after a guilty Waymo

A few episodes in and I can't with The Four Seasons. How can so many great actors together be so insufferable?

Will Forte in Sunny Nights > Will Forte in The Four Seasons

Pressing F to all the cold drinks that lost their chill because I thought I'd save the planet by not using styrofoam only to watch a handful of fascists burn it down anyway.

We did it. We got his name off a building. The nightmare is over. We showed him. Tonight we rest.

My social media network will not allow someone to say they live in a major city if it isn't true.

*crawls back into the bed from which it came*

Dramatic Eevee the Cat

We Like To party We like We like to party

me with your p after years without sex

Daniel Radcliffe hip thrusting to She'll Be Coming 'Round the Mountain is a gift from the gods

🌈╰⁠(⁠ Ӧ⁠εӦ⁠╰⁠) ⁠~♡

If tradition holds true, platform introduction of group chat is a harbinger of my farewell.

Free drag name: Ulta Madame Pronounced "ultimatum"

Pepperidge Farms. Pepperidge Farms and I, both, remember Gloria Gaynor is not an ally.

The way UberEATS found "No Given Name" acceptable 🙄

All the coffee. Zero motivation.

If I may

Life isn't all bad

me, checking my bank account

Today has been the longest, most mentally exhausting workday. Waiting mode begins for work tomorrow.

I'd watch an entire series with God and his family 🤣 Loving my rewatch of Miracle Workers. This cast is 💯

The kind of god I'd be

A little bath salts and pepper can do wonders for any bland dish

Glad I came back in time to see the world's reaction when Madonna reveals she's A.I. Her actual body has been in the same medically induced coma since 2023.

Behold the beauty that is Eevee