We had fucking congressional hearings over Mortal Kombat.

🚨🚨🚨 The jury has reached a verdict. Sean Dunn, aka the DC Sandwich Guy, has been found NOT GUILTY of assault.

The Soviet Union hasn't existed since I was 7 years old. Who is the audience for this?

"If it weren't for the number of ballots cast for Democrats exceeding the number cast for Republicans, the Democrats wouldn't have won." Yeah, that's counting works dumbass.

It's about ethics in workplace journalism (shudder)

These fuckers tear gassing a two year old is making me reevaluate my position on the abolition of capital punishment

I was at this show. I think he had slightly better seats!

Without Trump at the top of the ballot people see Trumpism and how ugly it is more clearly. The man himself has some weird charisma that I don't understand, but that a lifetime of being a carnival barker in the country's largest media market somehow infused him with.

Lot of elected Dems need to see this today apparently.

He's more like the penguin. Mrwahhhhggjhhh the insurgency is in its final throes. Mrwahhhhh

i hope to see enterprising democrats announce their intent to retire schumer and gillibrand over the next two years.

The Lincoln Project are still grifters at heart just like the rest of them.

JD Vance and Peter Thiel walk into a talent agent's office and say have I got an act for you...

So I know this isn't the point but in Connecticut we banned plastic bags like five years ago and people bitched for two weeks, got over it, switched to paper, and there's not nearly as much litter as there used to be.

You don’t get to name your kid X Æ A-12 and then say “or whatever his name is” about anyone else.

I was all in on this guy when he did the 2004 keynote, but he's gotta stop telling me not to boo things. These fascists suck, booing them is a perfectly normal reaction.

This is not disproving my theory that every elected Republican is either your traditional racist, a Nazi, a child molester, or any combination thereof.

“They were careless people, Tom and Daisy—they smashed up things and creatures and then retreated back into their money or their vast carelessness or whatever it was that kept them together, and let other people clean up the mess...”

You'd think Trump and Maduro would be BFFs since Maduro successfully pulled off Trump's I don't care about that election result I'm staying right here gambit.

Right!? They didn't create the 22nd amendment so that somebody could continue to serve as president indefinitely as long as they pull this chicanery where some toady else is elected president but then gifts it to him. Defeats the whole freaking purpose.

The Vice President is absolutely morally depraved in the way that Calvinists talk about.

They should kidnap Dr. Phil in the middle of the night and take him to some camp in the woods where they make him do manual labor and yell at him about making responsible choices.

This and the Chicago indictments make it abundantly clear that the rule of law is dead at DOJ. The agency has been fully weaponized to smite Trump’s enemies and shield his friends.

JD Vance is an irredeemable sentient leaky trash bag and Ron Howard should have to give back that Oscar for A Beautiful Mind in order to apologize for Hillbilly Elegy.

We're at the attempting to jail dissenters point

look at what happened with immigration: dems try to be “centrist” with the biden border bill, gop just went further right and started lying about eating pets…may be a lesson to learn there

Has it occurred to Democrats that the consultants that they keep hiring vote Republican? Because other than they're just incompetent, I can't think of another explanation for the Lionel Hutz quality advice they're shilling.

We're two weeks after ICE kidnapping people at will and the republicans invading our cities with the military drove millions into the streets in protest and we're still being told that maybe we should be shittier to immigrants.

I know they like him and want to help him, but it is so weird that he can just brag about 'passing' a test designed to tell you how bad the dementia is getting like he got the high score on a pinball machine for years and there are exactly zero follow up questions.

By issuing the order to proceed with attack plan R, general Jack D. Ripper was engaging in a strategy called stake-driving. The only option once you realize the attack cannot be withdrawn is total commitment even if the initial command exceeded his authority.

I'm convinced. Twitter isn't just an unpleasant place to be. It's brain poison for anyone who chooses to stay there.

Now why would they want to hear a Catholic Mass in Latin while losing their shit because the superbowl halftime show will be sung in a language derived from latin? Hmmmm

Does it really need to be explained why this is extremely illegal and exactly the sort of thing we have a constitution to avoid?

The most pro criminal president in history.

The prevalence of sports gambling is ruining everything and we need to eradicate this huge policy mistake we've made, but I also don't believe a damn thing coming out of Kash Patel's FBI until it can be corroborated because these guys lie all the time.

Can't wait until we get a millennial president and instead of demolishing the Whitehouse for a garish ballroom meant to launder bribes they just put a Super Nintendo in the oval and conduct budget negotiations over street fighter II turbo rounds.

So your mistake was bringing a cake out during a wrestling show. You may as well say "I'll be right back" in a horror movie.

Muppet Mone!

I'm still getting the ICE commercials during #dynamite #aew. Am I gonna have to cancel sling and start pirating this?

Next chance we have, we must seize his ill gotten assets and try him for the crimes he and his regime committed. Congress will need to fast track the funds to bulldoze his massive monument to himself and restore the white house. That is the minimum before we can turn the page.

It's such an obvious vehicle to launder bribes to the President but apparently nobody with the power to stop it cares and we just have to hope we get a chance to undo the damage in the future.

trump is demolishing our national symbols and selling the country for scrap to his corrupt donors

Is a scam still a scam if everyone knows that it's a scam going in and they're just hoping to dump it on a bigger imbecile before the supply runs dry? Isn't that just gambling?

Right. If the president is an elected dictator and the only way to hold the executive accountable is if you have the votes to impeach and remove, the constitution is a dead letter.

at some point they have to find a better way to do gender than “men today are worried they might experience a consequence or inconvenience; how can democrats expect to win them back if I, a man, experience a consequence or inconvenience”

He's literally bulldozing the white house to the ground so he can build a replica of his tacky golf club in its place.

I feel like this probably could have been solved with having a conversation with the kid about why we don't do finger guns at school.

Yep. A belt collector gimmick eventually becomes a belt dispenser gimmick. Enjoy the ride people.