Eating night cheese bc my kid is voracious while @laplanck.bsky.social rocks her to sleep

Walked into daycare this morning and let in a state investigator on my way out. Hoping this isn’t going to grow into a scandal, then the governor makes a political announcement and ICE shows up to rain hell down bc literally 3/4 of this daycare is POC staff.

We all need a laugh RN. This week in targeted ads. Is she drinking urine? Bathing in urine? Is it human urine?

They are going to arrest Gold Medalist Suni Lee here soon and it’s going to be amazing to watch the spin on why she needs to be deported and detained.

Always reminds me of law school. This is the “International Shoe”

Is there an issue with supplies of feminine hygiene products or did everyone in this town cycle at once?

Meat me in Temecula

Meet me in Temecula 2026 Edition @laplanck.bsky.social

This cold ass wind in early Jan is giving this SoCal native some major PTSD

At the orthodontist this morning and they have so far played “Flowers” followed by 2 covers of “Flowers.” Reminds me of the time we did a whole MyGym session to an Adele album. Scorned receptionist anthems are fun.

Y’all we have never needed these snacks like we need these snacks now. We’ve also never needed to support organizations that train girls to become leaders more.

Am I the only human who hates their own birthday and would prefer everyone just ignored it? A relative wants to “celebrate” and I just cannot bring myself to even pretend this is something I would enjoy.

Enjoying this timeline? Me neither, but at least I have Girl Scout cookies and you can too. digitalcookie.girlscouts.org/scout/cora42...

Some spoiler free highlights from the Hijinx Hotel

While in a walking boot, I tripped on a staircase on the way to a job interview and broke the other foot. Still made the interview by swapping casted feet and forcing broken foot into a heel. Had 2 walking boots by morning.

The casting in this 2026 “Wag the Dog” reboot is terrible.

Big Democrat Energy

OK but like Miggy Ro is a great leader in the Dodger clubhouse. Next president of Venezuela? Just need this to trend on Twitter to catch the ear of the admin 🇻🇪💛💙♥️🙄

Getting Hegseth level drunk bc I don’t have a child obligation before noon tomorrow and I turn old in a week assuming we all make it that far

Hillary the Hawk, Donald the Dove

Today’s random Facebook timeline entry : free jurats

Just spent 2 hours putting the bridge building pieces together to start training our kids to be engineers @laplanck.bsky.social

5: Wanna see my GREEN tongue? 7: How did you equip it? Me: how did he equip it? It’s his real tongue not a Roblox skin 5: FUN DIP!

Thank heavens I always have spare crap in the gifting closet bc my new 2 year old made her first poop in the potty and I needed something to reward her

Sure we have no seasons but everyone can use their Christmas gifts immediately.

Happy Pop-Tart Bowl to all who celebrate, including the son of @laplanck.bsky.social

@laplanck.bsky.social thank you for the Night Ham and the shirt @shutdownfullcast.bsky.social

Merry Christmas

Sad to read of the passing of Tony Geary. Spent hours watching GH as a kid with my Grandma. RIP.

Same energy somehow

TMZ Politics scoops everyone

Rules are rules

I didn’t really need another Phil Hartman moment this week, RIP Rob Reiner and wife.

Lake Forest Municipal Tree with single red ornament @laplanck.bsky.social

@screechysaywha.bsky.social thank you for the cookies @laplanck.bsky.social shared some with me this morning and one cookie has kept me fueled for hours. Can you tell us what they are called?

Just received a handwritten holiday card that informed me of a 20+ marriage separation and let me tell you my college group chat is LIT right now.

Wait I’m supposed to have room themes @laplanck.bsky.social ?

Just realized at 11 am that I am in the office wearing my sweater backwards

Finally an algorithm big win: Sir Patrick Stewart singing country and western music youtu.be/Beqh0b3iR_I?... @laplanck.bsky.social

All of my targeted Instagram ads are now for D&D style gaming accessories. Literally never played this game in my life so this has been a fun algorithm fail.

Chillin and grillin with some elves qr1.be/NW4R my entire house smells like air fried vegetables thanks to @laplanck.bsky.social but I cannot imagine how bad grilled peppermint smells.

He was so tired from this that when I crawled into bed at 2:45 he was laying across the bed width wise and surprised to learn that was an issue. Seriously though I couldn’t do December (with the 12673 closings and 92747 child activities and gifts) without @laplanck.bsky.social

Good Afternoon @laplanck.bsky.social

Night 9: a mystery elf appears qr1.be/H42S

One of @laplanck.bsky.social’s college friends posted her son’s college acceptance video today. Our daughter turned 2 on Monday. When this happens for her I will be *checks notes* 61?

Knives Out Muppets (Sesame Street Edition) just dropped www.instagram.com/p/DRw-0mXEaI... @rianjohnson.bsky.social proof of full Muppet Knives Out concept

Night 5 qr1.be/SE5M

Baby turned 2 today and excuse me while I weep. Last babies are hard!