@profanity.accountant please sir

On our way our of Stanton, we passed this high end apartment building with this nearly unreadable signage

Update: he specifically banned us with the guy taking over his shift. That guy upon hearing it was our daughter’s birthday let us on.

Takes kid to toddler park for her birthday on Monday. Tries to help another toddler by letting her know how little my kid is. Am told by ride operator that 2 days away from 2 is too young to ride. She must be exactly 2. Who turns away a toddler on her birthday? @laplanck.bsky.social

Happy Thanksgiving from this turkey disguised as Baby Saja

Awake at 4 am due to child nightmare, debating just staying up and working but this cold is demanding more sleep.

Officially “I have a kid with braces” years old today.

At a VIP theater for the first time time seeing Wicked with like 15 theater kids age 7-9.

Squattypotty Wicked tie-in.

Family photos we got for free were nearly ruined by some severe glare on @laplanck.bsky.social glasses. Thanks to @fiverr.bsky.social the problem is fixed and we can send out holiday cards! DM with address details.

Toddler napping on me while I wear The Muppet Christmas Carol shirt and watch the film. Soaking up her last week before she’s 2.

Why are Georgetown and Holy Cross playing at Fenway?

Watched part 2 last night and seriously this show is so good. “Death by Lightning”

Belated birthday sharks @laplanck.bsky.social

Dad so hard: rainbow edition @laplanck.bsky.social

School district sends out email that report cards are available on the parent portal. Entire portal crashes 30 seconds later. lol!

My kindergartener is texting me from his fitness tracker while he’s at the park with his manny to ask for “Oreo ice cream” while I’m at work. Trying to imagine me doing something like this when I was 5 and struggling.

What if we asked AI to make classic literature dumbed down for children. www.magibook.co

Watching the Netflix movie about James A Garfield and I’ve never been more happy. Seriously go watch it.

I mean, the answer is obviously “the rich.”

Noted clarinetist looks good.

This didn’t age well, like the time I cursed out the Dodgers in July 2018 and noted I would be taking October off to give birth. Instead I labored while watching playoff games and breastfed my way through a Word Series.

Sad to be missing the parade and celebration this year. Here’s one of my favorite moments from the victory celebration in 2024: singing my daughter to sleep with Randy Newman and 50,000 close friends @laplanck.bsky.social www.tiktok.com/t/ZTMb8puaX/

White people tacos

LA started this year literally on fire and was occupied by its own government. Rest easy Angelenos. Enjoy Monday and fuck ICE.

Changed my name this morning and I’m keeping it until opening day

lol I repeated the routine from Halloween and it literally worked

It worked again. Never watching another game

Entertaining 3 kids so I don’t cry and scream at this game @laplanck.bsky.social can also enjoy some peace

Never watching a Dodger game again bc this worked

Drinking my first Mr Pibb in 20 years to pre-game Trick or Treating and hoping evil wins tonight of all nights. #gododgers

Congrats @bsky.app

OUR SCHOOL IS CLOSED TOMORROW BC HELL IS HALLOWEEN AT THE END OF A WORKDAY WITH NO SCHOOL RANDOMLY

It’s going to be 80+ for trunk or treat and the kids have no school tomorrow. Send help.

I has a sports sad

Tonight we are watching “Yo Gabba Gabba” by request

Canada hates Freddie Freeman now

Glad to have called this 2 innings ago

Unplugs game and blows on it

This game is older than Mary Hart’s husband and as consistently annoying as Marlins Man.

This is lilting into 2018 WS territory when Dodgers Red Sox went 18 innings

Both teams should agree RIGHT FUCKING NOW thats there’s no post game interviews. Get these guys some IVs, ice baths and whatever stretching routine Yoshi follows. They are coming back in a few hours!!!

I’m in CA, a lifelong Dodger fan and I’m exhausted and not even playing in this. Fans at the stadium paid $900 a ticket and haven’t had any food or drink since the 9th inning and are gonna be stuck in the parking lot until 2026.

By popular demand we will be watching Halloween Baby Shark instead of the World Series

We get to enjoy him and October Kiké. What a time to be alive.

Why is Colonel Sanders at this game?

Turning the game off to watch Ms Rachel.

Chauncy Billups is an all-timer name though right?

I look exactly like my son. Does that count? See age 5 comparison