The ac repair guy is showing me numbers on the voltmeter like I should know what they mean, and I’m just nodding along like “Oh yeah, huh, would you look at that”

As I continue my steep descent into the grave, I will always pride myself on not buying into spooky headlines about the supposed deficiencies of the younger generations.

Read my latest:

Feeling really left out that Mitch McConnell is calling everyone but me

the lesson I keep learning is that you should really never trust or respect anyone online

when someone shows you their nazi tattoo, believe them

do you think the shitheads who told us this dude "appealed to working class sensibilities" will stop and think, for even one god damned second, what it says about them their totemic ideal working class person always turns out to be racist, misogynist pieces of shit?

Once I was doing promo work writing a story to promote the Insidious movies (which are about ghosts and demons living in a place literally called “the ghost dimension”) but I was told I could not use the word ghost, haunted, or demon.

Oh you have interiority? Name every experience.

Each start to July, this should be a reminder.

you couldn't make Supergirl in 2026

China has gotta be the protagonist country of earth

Can I be so real right now It’s too hot

Or viewed in a glass half full way: even the people who like gen-AI fuckin hate gen-AI

I love when the reaction to a video is split equally between people saying “thank god someone is finally saying this” and “why did you feel the need to say any of this?” It happens more often than you’d think.

I give it about it a month until the term “male centred” is co-opted to exclusively refer to women who the speaker seems insufficiently male centred.

democrats are like the characters from Seinfeld: morally bankrupt, sauceless, overrated, and zionist republicans are the gang from Always Sunny: stupid, malicious, and every week is a zany scheme to make money that blows up in their faces and hurts everyone around them In this essay I will

When your wife gets access to your Etsy wish list a month before your birthday ❤️

They say 80% of statistics are made up on the spot, but that’s misleading. Dave the number liar makes billions of false statistics. He is an outlier who should not have been included in the data set.

young people today are looksmaxing, when they should be booksmaxing

Hey folks, my new video is live now! And if you were watching live, is secretly a TOP 13 video! I cheated. It's by far my biggest one yet, and I'm really proud of this one, so please do share it around and leave a comment on the vid if you don't mind, it really helps and I love to read 'em! 💜

It’s like that time Geordi fell in love with a holodeck program, but dumber

Don’t worry everyone, Adam West’s Batman is gonna kick this guy’s ass

Just take one of the guns and rob a library, boom infinite books

You couldn’t make Thought Slime today

So none of you were gonna tell me Stephen Root was a main cast member of Widow’s Bay huh? I just had to figure that out on my own?

Truly hate the expression “not all heroes wear capes. “ Nobody thought all heroes wear capes. Almost no heroes do, and the few that do are almost all fictional. What a waste of time. How dare you

Actually only people who disagree with me can be racist, thus making it epistemologically impossible for me personally to be racist.

Cheating? Well that’s where we have to draw the line!

Watched this movie last night and immediately knew it was gonna bring out the worst takes in a particular type of dude

we don't talk about this enough

Walking Amogus nebula.tv/probablynota...

Even the most lit amongst us can fall victim to negative self image

In a post credits sequence, we see four balls lined up on the edge of a cliff. The camera pulls out to reveal Johnny Five Aces, tying the events of the story to larger Zybourne Cinematic Universe.

I know the right projects their insecurities a lot, but I still didn’t anticipate the hard turn towards compulsory homoeroticism they seem to be making.

I'm really, really struggling lately to feel like any ideas for videos I have are worth making. I keep getting knee deep in a project and just completely lose all faith in it. I don't know how to silence the little voice in my head that says "Yeah, no shit" anymore.

a lot of people are questioning me about hiring a bunch of klansmen, but here in the real world we all have to get along even when we have small disagreements about who are, and who are not people

“Uh-oh, Lenny … it’s the slimelord.”

canadians get mad when people say our country is too whimsical, and then we turn around appoint as our designated fascist strongman a guy named Pierre

Doctor please, my discourse, she is very sick

So uh.... This whole time there was a machine that made a sound that caused debilitating pain to supes and only supes, Butcher was familiar with that machine, but The Boys never used it?

My wife and I were literally the only people in the theatre last night for Sk+te'kmujue'katik (At the Place of Ghosts), which is a bummer because that movie kicks a tremendous load of ass. www.imdb.com/title/tt3235...

You ever see someone complain about something you relate to, and instead of sympathizing with them you just feel kinda jealous because you hadn't realized until they complained that the thing was worth complaining about? THAT PITY SHOULD HAVE BEEN MINE GOD DAMN IT

No decision was made, my hatred for that creature was instinctual and primordial

I do think in addition to shooting them, John Brown probably did argue with the people he shot.

Chat, is this bad?

No phrase is less funny than "in this economy!?"

You can't stop, won't stop the slop. youtube.com/live/ziGV242... twitch.tv/ThoughtSlime

It's so funny that decades of science fiction have used people assuming that A.I. cannot be conscious as an analogy for real world dehumanization of political minorities, but then in real life the people dehumanizing political minorities are the only ones who actually believe A.I. is conscious.