1000 Deaths is a D’Angelo-ass song if you haven’t heard

Goddammit I’m sick of this shit

If you take Black Mirror, Get Out, Her, Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind with the dash of Atlanta you’ll get Demascus on Tubi

Hey fun suckers, y’all cool?

This week, I’m hosting The Daily Show Tuesday through Thursday. It’s my first time hosting anything on TV. Ever. I’ve spent years writing behind the scenes, learning from truly great and talented people. Now, for three nights, I get to sit at the desk and do it myself.

Good morning good people Happy Jackie Washington Day to those who celebrate

Doomscrolling made me realize that troll contrarians never ever have an original thought. They spend all their time going nuh-uhh to absolutely anything

I’m just now watching Dexter Original Sin and I can’t take the police sergeant seriously with his classic kids in a trenchcoat disguise topped off with a fake mustache

Glycolic acid + Magnesium oil on your feet…yw

The back of my head cute af

I bought a house against my will and I hate that for me

I just threw up a little bit🤢

I’m sure all introverts relate to this

It’s 8:00 AM & I’m omw to see Sinners for a third time. Seeing it in IMAX was a visceral experience

As a Capricorn, I hate hypothetical questions

Ice Spice raps Henny Youngman jokes

If you inherited a movie theatre, what’s your first double feature?

If I'm doodling I'm really really paying attention.

New Ted don’t shimmy and iont like that #beyondthegates

Someone on the dancing app said Sammy’s dad was a vampire. He was not. But he acted like one which is worse becuz it wasn’t obvious at first

I misspelled the word “debut” in the seventh grade spelling bee. It was 1977. I have not recovered. It has been reported that I have not used that word since then

I saw Sinners in 70 mm. Drove 400+ miles to the IMAX theater in IN. 100/10 would do it again.

The same people who say Adriana Smith should stay hooked up to machines so a fetus can gestate inside her dead body for 7 months because “it’s a sacrifice a mother would make” can’t fathom a mother crossing the border with her children in hopes of providing a better life for them.

ATP if you use the word “demonic” to describe anything, just know I’ve stopped listening

I need to see more hats, capes, and canes because what is this?

Umm excuse me? Where is the latest episode of Beyond the Gates?? Somebody getting fired tonight

I love a good Irish goodbye lol

One day we’ll talk about the athlete to shit human pipeline (applicable to all genders)

Shannon Sharte

Girl, have YOU been to space?

Y’all Hotel Reverie was not that deep. That was prison love

White racists “took their country back” and crashed it in less than three months.

Wheres the lie?? 🤣🤣

Gatekeep

A whole apple Me: I’m good Apple slices Me:

Also worth noting how often people who lean into fascism are 1. Pro authoritarianism 2. Failed artists You know how abusers say "if can't have you, nobody can"? They're like that with art, too., not just people and movements and ideologies. Its terrifying, but bland.

Do you ever silently praise yourself for having the foresight to go to the bathroom before doing something? Just me?

Real bad man

If you send me an email with the phrase, “gentle reminder,” I’m going to be late on purpose

Document over creativity is crazy work

My daughter wants to be a nail tech, but none of the schools in our area offer evening classes. How did she do?

I just binge watched The Residence on Netflix and all I will say is I was right

Where are my eyeballs though? iseej.github.io/LovePawsona/

Unpopular opinion: White Lotus is a horror series

Plot twist: they are NOT accepting new patients

If anybody is an industry plant, it’s Shannon Sharpe go argue with your mama cause you know I’m right

It is the third month of the year and I just realized I’m actually 56 and not 57 years old. I just had my birthday in December

Sometimes a mf don't even love you, they just know you a good person and they need you 😒