New job is going well. I'm about to get my second paycheck which is the first time I won't be feeling DOOM! Its been a tough few months for my partner who's had a lot of really hard struggle times, and just doing the best I can to support her while keeping myself afloat. Lots of heavy lifting 💪

I don't think of posting much but I got a job, I'm starting on monday, I'm excited to have more of my life move forwards, I'm engaged, I'm like, things are sorta kinda looking up individually and trying to not think about the giant moon in the sky

Job offer get!! Its not impossible to get a job in software right now. I'm coming off of a 4 year career break, with no degree, and just landed one with interest from several others. Excited to finally be able to look a little bit forward

Phew. Think I see the light at the end of the tunnel. Been coding furiously and focusing my entire life around partner support + job hunting - I'm very close to landing a job and being able to see more than a foot in front of me. Miss friends :O

Being direct support for someone who’s going through rough mental health is really really hard :x

Sylvester, tweetie, grandma and the dog are all in an ace kink relationship

"Compartmentalization": In forestry, we know that trees cannot 'heal'. Instead, they seal their wounds away under layers of themself.

Disappointed in myself that in all my years of drinking I never came up with White Tail Wasted

It me! :D

Even with a very curated feed, every time I hop onto this app right now it makes me feel worse! I’m gonna take a break for a while and get this off my phone

I’m so goddamn stressed. Doing my best to one step at a time. Feel like the only way thru is to not fail.

Roastin toastin

Me, sitting in Costco parking lot having a hot dog: “gosh I am feeling a little hopeful” A whole row of carts: “NOW BOYS ATTACK THEIR CAR” Me, now vaulting over my trunk to stop it: “NOT THAT HOPEFUL”

Puttin on the strap Or Affixing my GoBro

Found: pretty rocks :3

Bobokins respawning

When I go I need a healer I mean I need a heeler

Puppy girls and boys just want to unmask their autism make sounds and chew on things and this is okay for everyone

I want a towel warmer for comfy pants in my living room

Just normal week, engagement, going to a wedding, system integration... I've never felt so alive.

Fucking hell, growing up is hard

I would very quickly join a political protest group about how much safeway sucks. I fucking LOATHE them. I live in a place where I can walk to two of them, and every time I go in everything that I bought the week before is triple the price. I can NEVER get the same stuff.

My partner: “internally we call your mayonnaise preferences Midwest Madness”

I have a weird hypothesis on plurality and neurodivergency where there is an Autism "Masking" Plurality, which would be differentiated from DID by relatively less intensity of barriers between modes, and from OSDD by having state-specific memory. This would be basically a thing for Autistic Systems.

@maliepono.bsky.social a wonderful happy birthday to a wonderful friend :D

Started super low dose strattera today and found it to be pretty effective for my attention - I’m 10x sensitive to stimulants and even this has a really pronounced effect, but I needed something to keep me out of the “I’m empty find anything” low executive function loop

Echo chambers haven’t ever been louder to me in my lifetime. It’s never been easier to accidently terrify yourself into forgetting your priorities. It’s a good time to have earplugs on.

Jelly belly quality control must be powered by AI now

Real new leafy buds on the trees!! Winter is receding

nervous system? yeah, i have alters and anxiety

Being autistic with ptsd is like, “wait, I don’t get triggered, for you see I have developed a system by which I never sit with back to anyone”

“You must _____ you have to pay attention to ______ you’re failing if you don’t take _____ action” Shut the fuck up. You don’t know me. You don’t know what I’ve been through. You don’t know what I’m doing. You don’t know what I’m capable of. Ask for my help? Sure. Tell me I’m bad? DIAF.

You know how y is a vowel sometimes well that’s my gender

Trauma fucking sucks. Each time we get into a routine, are healthy, eating well, exercising, being productive, that’s the time that more of us come out and need help. It’s good to get them help and also it feels like I never get to relax, all effort leads to more effort :x

“I don’t remember anything from when I was before 18, that’s normal right?”

Amazon doesn't want you to know, but loading epubs into your Kindle is as easy as drag and drop (this way Bezos doesn't get your money). Buy direct from an author's website whenever you can! It's the best way to support their work.

Reddit Bluesky and a bunch of stuff off my phone is helping a lot rn

Strong disagree w this, I appreciate anyone who’s said they’re supportive. Even my next door neighbors are reaching out to tell me they’re supportive, and it makes me feel safer knowing that the world isn’t all against us.

I love how The Downfall of Halo is its own genre of content

Found a document in a google drive from 2015 about how we suspect we may be a system. We didn't accept it until 2021. Oops! Bonus: we then went to tell our partner, who informed us that we had found it like a year ago and had forgotten about that Yeowww, sometimes the amnesia hits hard

Bucks make huffy :3

If you may allow me a kind suggestion, dear reader, it would be to think about the most sensitive person in your life that you enjoy talking to and consider whether it might be helpful to reach out to them - a lot of folks are feeling a lot, and a friendly face brightens cloudy days.

If you see this shit, if you see a death march with a promise of later possible reward based on results and you work for a big company, please know that the reward is never coming unless you’re in leadership. Even result metrics can/will be messed with to screw you.

Lol watched winter x-games and it’s literally all trust fund rich kids nowadays, they kicked out all the park kid miscreants and now you’ve gotta have an au pair to afford snowsports

Godawful dreams last night that are not helping my agoraphobia :x

Watching TNG… everyone gets on how much of a token character Troi was but like for little autistic and emotionally neglected me all the obvious callouts “oh, obviously hiding something guy is hiding something!” was so damn helpful

How long for me is the better part of 4 years full time. It’s been worth every second I could work on it, I can think see and feel so much more completely now, I’m no longer going through the motions, I’m starting to get real pleasure and full manageable feelings of out of life.

My plural girlfriend is my home entertainment system