Major video game publishers' contempt for their audience is palpable on a good day, but there's a special level of fuck-you in play when a game is released in an unplayable state AND has $15 worth of launch-day DLC that's literally just shit like "start with 5 extra healing potions" and "own a hat".

Got a new job, folks! I'm gonna be the guy who Photoshops human warmth into the dead eyes of Donald "Mr. Beast" Jameson. Nobody has succeeded before but I hope to be the first (I will use a special AI from Adobe that utilizes third world workers and the occult).

I'm going to become the Quarterpoundering and Taylor Lorenz will be my Brie Larson. Now, who wants to be my bull?

Taylor Lorenz said she couldn't really report on AI companies unless she consistently used the AI products. Everyone reporting on biker gangs and human trafficking and the opioid epidemic got a lot to answer for.

The Verge on here like "right now you can save 12 dollars on this Juicero pillow for your asshole" and I'm like please I'm just an innocent man

Thanks Barret ur right 🌍

I have to stop saying The Mario Galaxy movie in my posts, or the barrage of Mario Galaxy movie posts from random children (and children equivalent adults) will only continue. If only I could stop typing The Mario Galaxy movie into this app.

Taylor Lorenz really be like making some good journalism but then goes actually chatgpt is good at making recipes and you shouldn't criticize these good ai things because women like them you see. Why can't we just say that the bad things are bad instead of being this cringe all the time?

The Bluesky algorithm is bringing me furries showing off their computer desks and modified handhelds and I appreciate that content. It sure is better than seeing posts about the Mario Galaxy movie, Super Mario, Illumination Mario Mario Hot Fox McCloud Mario Mario Kario Minions Mario

Mount Everest must be the shittiest place on earth, yet people keep going there. It's the McDonald's of places. There's nothing but rocks and snow and there's barely any oxygen. "Yeah, let's go there, that sounds like fun". Ever heard of the beach or a cool meadow in the woods? So much better.

i love living in the first village of an rpg man. friendly neighbors, music is chill af, we even got that one kid we adopted into the village of whom the ancient prophecy was written about. anyway there’s a big ceremony tomorrow can't wait to still be alive after it

Two blue tits got inside the kitchen today (the bird kind, not the Avatar kind). One of them slammed himself into the window and looked like Peter Griffin when he dies. The other one fucked off. Then the Peter Griffin one sat flat on its ass for five minutes before flying away too.

My basement family is growing like crazy! But I can't even imagine how hard it must have been to be in this subculture before Roblox.

At the end of the day, I don't think cherry tomatoes make up for Jeffrey Epstein.

The American FDA demands that all eggs have extra lots of salmonella and e-coli added, as a treat. Meanwhile, here in the frozen north, we eat cookie dough all the time.

My body is a temple (the rural kind where people dump old bicycles and garbage).

Google's overview just told me DOOM 3 was a PS4 and Switch game released in 2004 in case you needed an update on how that's going But it also says it was, "designed by id Software and Tim Willits", which... If that's meant to be a dig at Willits then incredible work, Gemmy, keep it up.

Okay, the Mario Galaxy movie discourse that Bluesky keeps showing me is getting more and more ridiculous. Since I keep metaposting about those posts or shitpost lying about having seen the movie, Bluesky keeps showing me the weirdest fucking Mario tweets from neurodivergent children. Send help.

I thought we had flipped around again and agreed that while a lot of the Twilight hate was rooted in misogyny – Twilight is still bad and shit? Don't tell me I hate women just because I hate when women unbox a dozen squishy toys in their cars. I hate men who buy things too.

Abrahamic religions are so over, guys.

Wild that 47 women have been killed per day for 925 days straight by Israel, Israel which continues to massacre, maim, rape, torture, kidnap, and destroy Palestinians, Lebanese, Iranians, Syrians, Indonesians, journalists, medics, researchers, diplomats, poets, the elderly, children, and babies.

After $7.3tn in investments into alternate dimension exploration, we've managed to chart a singular AU. It is identical to ours, except that the character of Johnny Bravo is known as Bronny Javo. We have no means of contacting the inhabitants of this universe and we see no reason to.

Something's wrong with the G-diffuser.

By continuing to make mediocre jokes about having seen the Mario movie (but actually having seen Speed), my feed is filled with posts about the Mario movie. Just random furries and children going "Mario movie was pretty cool" over and over. I dug this hole of pain and I'm sitting in it.

I watched the season finale of The Pitt and no I didn't.

It's funny how you allow them to breed this indiscriminately.

Trump to pardon the BTK killer and Josef Fritzl, according to reports.

Rodin's The Thinker is apparently named "Le Penseur" in the original French. I'm pretty sure that means "the penis" or something so I guess we know what that guy is thinking about (it's the penis, guys. He's thinking of dick)

If they made Goonies today, it would be called Gooners and it would 6 7 and I would end myself before the movie does (which is the same as the original) (I wouldn't know, I haven't seen it, I bet it's like Home Alone and it sucks shit but Americans like it because their brains are turd porridge)

Never gonna play Dispatch because I don't trust you media illiterate normie doo doo sandwich aficionados to actually recommend good things, ever. That's a lie, I did play it for like 30 minutes and oof wow really? Fuck that, I'm going back to watching Speed again.

Okay, a new rule. Nobody wants to see your AI slop, but if you're gonna use it for a meme face swap or whatever, at least make sure it doesn't look 100% dogshit. If you can't open PhotoPea and fix the most glaring fuckups in your dumb slop then you're not allowed to post it. Minecraft yourself.

Why can't the pissfuck Christians that run all the bad countries at least stay consistent with the Christian view of gambling and money-lending? Gambling is bad and I would appreciate it if the Jesus freaks spent more time on legislating about that rather than trying to ban porn or whatever.

Why do the Japanese like their buns askew (2026)

Wow. My grandpa just said: "Maybe 'ceasefire' just means something completely different in Hebrew?"

The main issue was not finishing it.

NeoGeo Fuckit Color

I was gonna watch some horror movie on Shudder but I mistyped it on my cyberdeck and now I have a lifetime subscription to Shidder and they're always showing that German scat porn with the nun and I feel like I got ripped off (can't stop watching doe only poop gooner problems ha use my promo code

Jellicle fat

They call me Snarkwing Cuck, they call me Balls Lightyear My stock just went up but it falls right here You stammer like Kier, I fill you all with fear You're Hamlet, can't handle it, I'm king Lear (except I don't die at the end, I'm just a cool king okay shutup)

*Contrapoints stubs her toe and drops her 2:30PM gin and tonic on the floor* "The left caused this."

Wow, season 3 of Euphoria is crazy! When they drilled under the surplus store to get the hostages out and Kojak kept going back in the store to try and talk Harvey Keitel down. Oh yeah, that wasn't Euphoria but the pilot for Kojak that I watched since I'm a man okay.

My sister got the new Tomodachi Life in the mail this morning and is already making great art. Pre-ordering physical copies of games is always a little lottery of whether you'll get to play early. My condolences to anyone who didn't have the same delivery luck.

Royalty have diplomatic immunity. The cops only laughed when I told them that Her Majesty Crown Princess Victoria had aggressively diddled with my fiddle and called me a "commoner coomer pleb toy". It wasn't true this time, but they couldn't have done anything anyway. Rude to laugh tho

Farmers be like hurdy burdy I'm marryin' my sister and votin' for Trump! And then they get upset when the price of fertilizer (literal shit) goes up. You best drop them overalls and start shitting on them fields, you turd-brained yokels. I want my goddamn Starbuck's wheat and rye milk goddamnit

Ya'll big babies saw the latest Pokémon leaks? Turns out it's all gonna take place in Gary Oak's mind. The Pokémon all represent aspects of himself that he refuses to accept. Buried truths. Pikachu came to be because of trauma from watching his cousins fry a mouse with a live wire.

So, I watched the Mario Galaxy movie and when I thought it was over, I realized there was still some left but then it turned out that was a mistake and I had phantom shat my asshole into oblivion. Oh sorry, that wasn't the Mario Galaxy movie, that was a shit I took. brb gonna go watch Speed again

Jeepers, folks. Check out this sick pull!? Two Lollobrigidas, Audrey Hepburn's nunsona and some cowboy guy! Let's freakin' gooo!

"Oh, a video on a Japanese PlayStation 1 game that I'm unfamiliar with? Don't mind if I do!" [clicks on video] "Are they stretching everything from 4:3 to 16:9?" [clicks back and then "Don't Recommend Channel"]

This product and ecosystem is a great entry point to the prosumer segment. *throws up in mouth*

Good morning