I got a game on sale and now I’m making that your problem. Come watch me stream the Darkside Detective today at 6 PM ET at Twitch.tv/ellisthe12th

Hey you, I’m going live at 3 PM ET today to talk about the 34 books I’ve read so far this year, come hang out! Twitch.tv/ellisthe12th

We have hit the point where all the kids who took their ball and went home as soon as they were losing have taken over a political party, and they claim to be the “tough and manly” party. We truly are beyond satire or parody at this point.

Everyone says folding a fitted sheet is difficult, but you can do it in two simple steps! 1. Give up immediately 2. Move on with your life

This is the summer we learn that it is, in fact, medically impossible to live without a functioning heart.

Lindsey Graham spoke to Mitch McConnell for 20 minutes this morning around 3 AM

Posting for no reason, just a great movie

What a devastating loss. Easily one of the most embarrassing things to happen to the US in the past 3 hours.

People are so desperate for a Democratic candidate with a platform beyond “I’m not a Republican” that they’re willing to overlook a lot of red flags on a personal/background level.

Make sure you call Grandma America today. It’s her birthday and if I’m being honest, I’m not sure how many more she’s got left.

This would be considered a bad turnout for a weekly trivia night at my local bar.

Hakeem Jeffries is already unpopular in his own district, and triggering this sort of party infighting is exactly why. Out here doing more to stop a successful local politician than he is to pass legislation, oppose Trump, or point out that Mike Johnson is Trump’s puppet from a Temu run of Avenue Q.

The complete wrong take. MAGA did not “blow up” the Republican Party, they pulled it to the right and turned it into a fascist movement, but Repubs are still in sync. Mamdani isn’t “blowing up” the Dems, he’s pulling us to the left and giving us the actual opposition we need in this exact moment.

HISTORY.

I feel like I’ve read about another instance of floods and swarms of locust appearing on a cruel and dangerous ruler’s doorstep, but can’t recall where…

The end of every Curse of Strahd campaign

My partner: how’s the resume coming along? Me, 2 hours into writing “Sgt. Shortlegs, The Crime-Fighting Corgi”: Oh, right, THAT’S why I opened Word.

Running into the woods never to be seen again, anybody need anything while I’m out?

I think my number 1 pet peeve is people who engage you in conversation, and then actively refuse to speak loud enough for you to hear. You get two “I’m sorry, could you please speak up a little?” before I’m just fully a looping gif until you finish.

DM: This is gonna be a serious campaign, not our usual goofy circus nonsense. *later* DM: So what characters do we have? P1: I brought a bard who’s a stage magician. P2: I brought a rogue who’s also a stage magician. DM: Oh come on. P3: I have a ranger- DM: Ok, well- P3: he’s a lion tamer.

🎶Just a single dad who works too hard, Who loves his kid, And fights with Quark🎶

Recently learned about raddle.quest ; it is now my entire personality, and this will continue until I’ve worked through the backlog.

Never thought I’d say “This dude fuckin’ rules” about the head of the Catholic Church, but 2026 is a weird year.

Tonight I wrapped up a D&D campaign with my high school friends. It wasn’t perfect, but it survived 5 years, a global pandemic, multiple graduations and the birth of 4 children. Games are magic. Especially the ones with magic.

My inner monologue is constantly fluctuating between “the best revenge is a life well lived” and “the easiest revenge is bludgeoning”

I will continue to ask this until the issue is resolved.

Naturally, this triggered a conversation between @dmjazzyhands.bsky.social and I because we’re insufferable and we (I) have concluded this is not as dumb a question as it seems, but it is the WRONG question. The correct question is “Why do hummingbirds have feet?” (I am completely sober right now)

I hit my reading goal this year and now I’m making that your problem! Come watch me tier rank the 57 books I read this year today at 1 PM ET at twitch.tv/ellisthe12th

Finally watching Del Toro’s Frankenstein and my full thoughts are TBD, but I will say that I was not prepared for Lauren Collins to make an appearance, and my partner was DEFINITELY not prepared for my 20 minute info dump about her iconic time as Paige Michalchuk on Degrassi: The Next Generation.

Failures as a white dude: haven’t seen Back to The Future or *gasp* The Godfather Failures as an actor/theatermaker/person with a BFA: haven’t seen or read Hamlet in its entirety (and at this point it’s become a game to see how long I can keep that streak going)

Self-tape auditions are a pain in the ass, but sometimes they give you an excuse to shout “DO YOU KNOW WHO I AM?” at your boyfriend and that is a 10/10 experience that I cannot recommend enough.

Dealer: Name of the game is 5 card stud. Player 1: I’m in. Player 2: I’m in. Me, wearing only 5 playing cards taped strategically to my body: So there’s been a misunderstanding.

One terrible thing about being from a small town is when you casually use a folksy phrase from home and immediately think "God, I hope that doesn't have a racist origin."

Everyone argues about who the villain of Devil Wears Prada is, but we can all agree the moral of that story is “If you live in New York, your friends, lover, coworkers and boss will all be huge assholes.”

New mother: Actually, we’d prefer to use ‘they/them’ pronouns until the baby is old enough to- Me: Are you asking me to stop referring to your baby as “it”? NM: Yes, please and thank you.

It’s good to see the Silent Hill monster design team are still some of the biggest perverts to ever walk God’s green Earth.

“You don’t have a problem, lots of people have a glass of wine or two while they make dinner” I tell myself as I pull my 5-minute lasagna from the microwave.

The other day, a nurse told me my resting heart rate has gotten so low that it’s “basically the bare minimum to sustain life” and apparently “Sweet, almost to my goal” was NOT the response he wanted.

How many KPop Demon Hunters songs can I add to my Bar Trivia Host playlist before I start getting complaints from the sports guys?

My high school bio teacher once said “allergies are just your body’s very reasonable reaction to plants trying to have sex with you” and I think about that every time I sneeze now.

If you saw me stick my head in the Hungry Man freezer at the grocery store while sobbing and quietly singing “Let It Go” to myself today, no you didn’t.

Dudes, the "crisis" that men are facing, is self-imposed. You've flattened the definition of masculinity into something ugly, unhealthy and unsustainable. You don't need Communist Joe Rogan to appear to lead you to True Manhood, you just need to stop fearing empathy.

Much like a gathering of lions is called a “pride” and a gathering of crows is a “murder”, a gathering of teenage boys is a “fucking nuisance”

“You said you were gonna stop drunk requesting books from the library, Sam, you PROMISED.” - me to myself every Monday morning when I check my email

Most white dudes I know: I know everyone thinks this, but I just don’t think I’d be susceptible to brainwashing. I’m a free thinker. The exact same white dudes, en masse, as soon as Mr. Brightside comes on: 🎶COMING OUTTA MY CAGE AND I BEEN DOING JUST FINE-🎶

To folks watching the new season of You: is it just Anna Camps, or is it Annas Camp like Attorneys General?

I am staunchly opposed to the death penalty with the one exception of people who have annoying ringtones and leave their volume on in public.

PSA for straight people curious after last night’s #TheWhiteLotus: if your husband has a cuck fetish, you don’t need to give an entire backstory that would make Freud want to bleach his eyes. You can just say “My husband has a cuck fetish, you down?”