Not to brag about how nice our new neighbourhood is or anything, but last night our neighbours' son left his mountain bike outside, leaning up against their garage door, and when I went out this morning, IT WAS STILL THERE

King Pepe using a somewhat disheveled Izzy as a pillow.

Oh hello

shout if you need more :)

I'm going to need you all to show me pictures of your cats please

Don't often see/hear people talking about Rebecca Makkai: everything I've read by her is an absolute banger. IMHO she is the modern QUEEN of the literary doorstopper

OK, it's February, and I've chosen my New Years' Resolution: this is going to be the year where I finally crack baking. Maybe. What's a good basic baking book for somebody who is fairly pitiful at baking?

1. the original idea ... 2. the published novel. While unpacking the last of my boxes today, I found this in an old notebook: the idea for a novel called 'the forgets', about a man who lives in an abandoned hotel. This idea, dated 2014, before my 1st novel was published, became Guest. (cont >>>)

what was that really funny review of Wuthering Heights that compared Jacob Elordi to a lizard eating up some crickets? I can't remember where I saw it. If you know the one I'm talking about, send me the link plz

Seriously though now, has anybody got any photos of 90s Wakefield I can have? Especially photos of the main shopping areas (The Ridings, Warrengate, Kirkgate, The Springs, etc)

if there's one thing, one single thing, that could make me give up the convenience, comfort and improved quality of life gained by working from home, it is definitely the prospect of being stung by a load of bees

Democratizing the arts looks like universal income, low-barrier grants for both emerging and working artists, well-funded municipal arts & recreation programs, vibrant third spaces, and a well-funded public school system with progressive curriculum. Not a free pass for corporate-owned slop engines.

Personal pet hate: writing workshops titled things like "Write a novel and get it published!" or "Get your script produced!" especially where it costs ££££ to book. So dishonest and exploitative towards aspiring writers

Husband keeps on producing remote controls I haven't seen for years, and asking me if I know what they're for

Ahh nooooooo 🙁 genuinely gutted to hear that the Ridings Shopping Centre is to be demolished - it's a gem of 1980s design, totally unique, which at one time was one of the largest shopping centres in the region (no wonder they're having trouble filling it.) www.bbc.co.uk/news/article...

short novels have got no business being confusing

Keep getting told off for not switching lights off in the new house. The main problem is, I'm not used to having to go from one room to another to switch things off. In our old house, you could basically reach all the light switches at once, from the sofa

Moving House update 438: keep alternately finding things (favourite maps) only to lose something else (work laptop)

The other thing I'd like is a ban on managers changing their minds about so-called 'critical tasks' which, two weeks later, they have downgraded to 'I have forgotten that this task ever existed'

Really chuffed to find out that today is apparently 'cheese, chips and gravy day', not least because I accidentally ("accidentally") ordered two large bags of oven chips in the last supermarket delivery

The Great Flood: Korean high-concept sci-fi. Read my latest for The Netflix Reviewer thenetflixreviewer.substack.com/p/the-great-...

oh no! Hang on, I left my tiny violin in my other trousers

Thank you Stephen - glad you are enjoying Maps of Imaginary Towns. Sadly my first novel, Brick Mother, is out of print - but you can buy an e-book version direct from me on my ko-fi page (link in bio). I don't get any money if you buy it on Amazon, so please buy it direct from me on ko-fi

tbf though I feel like creative people are generally bad employees: we never work hard, and we keep skiving off to do other, more interesting stuff though obviously if my current boss is reading this, I am an exception to this rule

Can't tell whether I have had an unlucky run of terrible managers, or whether I am a nightmare employee

You love to see it. cybernews.com/security/dev...

no offence but those flapjacks look like you could load 'em into a pillowcase and use 'em in a fight www.theguardian.com/food/2026/ja...

I think if moving house has taught me anything, it's perhaps that I should stop compulsively buying notebooks when I already have so many

We have made the decision to formally close our X social media account. Once a vibrant platform to promote the interests of authors, we feel X is no longer a trusted place for balance, community support, and reliable information.

On PLR day, I want to give a shout out to the person (or people) who strategically moved copies of Guest from the shelf nearest the floor in Headingley Library, to the shelf at eye height 💞 giving me enough PLR income to buy a small black coffee

Mother-in-law forcibly gave me a tube of leftover Christmas Twiglets as I was leaving their house earlier

🚨 ARCS ARE READY🚨 👀The book everyone's talking about 📕The 5th most requested title on Netgalley ⛏️The psychological horror of the summer @rhiannonagrist.bsky.social 's HOME SICK! Like, repost, follow & drop a 🐑 in the comments to be in with a chance! US/CAN/UK/IE only https://geni.us/homesick

GET YOUR BESPOKE CROSSWORDS HERE. Do you know someone who'd love a themed crossword puzzle as a birthday or anniversary present? You almost certainly do (in this country you're never more than 10 feet away from a #crossword geek). People seem to like 'em. richarddsmyth.com/custom-cross...

This is your reminder that Hungarian-Jewish scientist George de Hevesy dissolved two Nobel Prizes in aqua regia to keep them out of the hands of the Nazis. He then left the dissolved solution on his shelf and fled to Sweden. (After the war he un-dissolved the gold and the prizes were re-cast.)

Makes a nice change from our old neighbourhood, where I once knocked on my neighbours' door to apologise for pranging his car, and he pretended to be out (he wasn't)

Turns out we've accidentally moved into the kind of neighbourhood where your neighbours excitedly knock on the door because they want to bring you a huge bunch of flowers and a box of home-made cupcakes 👍 👍 👍 👍

any tips on how to turn off a burglar alarm if you don't know the code? I promise I am not asking for burgling purposes

Moving house update: husband has absolutely been brilliant at unpacking stuff and assembling furniture and making the house homely, but he has vastly overestimated my interest in choosing which lightbulbs go in which lights

Whoever designed customer service chatbots needs to have a word with themselves. Doesn't matter what you ask, the only answer the chatbot knows is "You need to go to the website!" Go to the WEBSITE?! How do you THINK I FOUND you in the FIRST PLACE, you non-sentient, pointless, 4-bit prick?!

Hi everybody. We're a Madrid, Spain, based literary magazine. We publish in print and online. Right now Issue 2 is free to read and download from www.themadridreview.com Writers, poets, readers, artists: follow us and we'll follow you. Nice to be here! #litmag #literature #writers #poets #poetry

We have MOVED HOUSE 🏡 and we are CURRENTLY CAMPING on sunloungers because we HAVEN'T GOT ANY OF OUR FURNITURE YET tbh it's still pretty good though

Thinking of taping myself up into a box and hiding in there with a big bag of crisps until it's all finished, tbh

Honestly I am SO TIRED of moving house AND WE HAVEN'T EVEN MOVED HOUSE YET

*walks into Cern "Bloody hell, can't believe you've got the Large Hadron Colider on? Couldn't you have managed with the small one!?". Clearly a Yorkshire Man.

This is an absolutely great list of small, low-cost daily ways to cheer yourself up 💞 www.theguardian.com/lifeandstyle...

You might have missed: Ripley - plus other forgotten gems, and films to stream if you've got a MUBI subscription. Happy New Year from the Netflix Reviewer thenetflixreviewer.substack.com/p/you-might-...

Quite enjoyed Stranger Things in the end, though perhaps my favourite thing about it was, in the final episode, how much Nancy Wheeler looked like she could have been the sixth member of Ratt