…”Vapist” is a person who vapes in the presence of other people without their consent. Like a rapist except with a vape machine.

Someone just got kicked out of this restaurant for vaping on the patio and it was so satisfying. Do that shit in the privacy of your own hermetically sealed underground bunker or outside the Earth’s atmosphere. Not where there are other people to expose to your poison.

Remember that time when Kamala Harris proposed a plan for Medicare to cover in home care and then America chose *gestures at everything* instead?

How can we make gas $12/gal for just the vroom-vroom boys? A tax on lowered vehicles? A tax on cars with ground effect lighting? A tax on cars modified on purpose to be louder than how they came from the factory? A tax on cars with girls in fish net stockings in the passenger seat?

Listen, Honky McHonkerson in the Childcrusher 3000 Mega SUV that gets 9 miles per gallon, right on red is not mandatory and I can’t see around that giant bush that shouldn’t be planted in the right of way. I know you can see from your vantage point 12 feet up, but I am waiting for the green light.

I got kicked out of Sunday School for asking questions. Why was god so mean to Mary? SS Teacher: What are you talking about? Well, god just sent an angel to tell Mary she was pregnant. He didn’t even ask her first. Sounds to me like god raped Mary.

What even is April Fools during the trumpsidency?

Did Clarence Thomas stay awake?

Today must be hard for people named April.

Don’t worry, I’m sure that if Trump discovers he can change constitutional rights via executive order that he will only do it the one time.

April Fool’s Day would be a hilarious day for it to happen

Hello. I’m running for office and my platform is

It’s like checking lottery numbers, hoping to win the jackpot. Except this is one jackpot we all WILL win eventually. We didn’t win today. But tomorrow is a brand new day.

I love checking out from the world for a little while, like to drive for a few hours like I just did this afternoon. And I love checking back in. When I reconnect, my first thought every time is always, “Maybe he died.”

Well now I know not to eat any snakes or insects I find in the area. How about venomous snakes and insects? Any of those in the area?

For the doubters.

This selfie could be anywhere. You’ll just have to take my word that I’m sitting across from the view in the post quoted below. There was a fairly strong breeze blowing across this hilltop so the restaurant lowered the wind screen behind me and blocked those views, which are also gorgeous.

My view for lunch today. There are people here but removed them. I wouldn’t want to Coldplay anyone.

Flipping through the Bible in my hotel room. This book is horny and violent. Haven’t found any of the love I keep hearing it has.

She has 3 dead husbands and just took out a life insurance policy on the 4th.

An unedited time lapse from the Airport Trail in Sedona, Arizona. I watched a storm go by. Later I’ll edit out the frames with people walking by.

They’re building a place for turmp to commit suicide. Like Hitler did, in an underground bunker, when justice was closing in on him.

Hot dads need to be regulated.

Sunrise in Sedona is magical. Especially the hum of the cooling unit on the delivery truck for the restaurant parked right below my windows.

I can’t believe you would do that right in front of Rahm Emanuel’s salad.

Phone needed a charge So I drove to Sedona The red rocks charge me #haiku #micropoetry

On my way to spend my tax refund over three nights in Sedona. Having lunch at my favorite local Polynesian Tiki place before getting on the road. The weekend crowds should be starting to leave about the time I arrive.

What do you call a black man on the moon? An astronaut, you racist.

We are a part of a rhythm nation.

my mother got really mad at me when I pointed out she referred to ChatGPT as "they" when she doesn't believe in using "they" as a singular pronoun for nonbinary people

FUCKS FOR PEACE

Y’all are horny today.

I thought “Stop! That! Train!” was a fake trailer made up in a RPDG challenge. No. It’s REAL.

Tiger Woods plays golf? I thought he was just a famous wife beater who keeps crashing cars while drunk. People are famous for less.

My politics in an picture

Can you even imagine the sass M3GAN would serve a T-800? The T-800 would be so devastated.

Be careful not to injure yourself while laughing at this.

Only garbage watches the new Harry Potter series on HBO, but we DO NOT harass the kids on the show. It’s not their fault they have horrible parents and horrible agents and managers. It’s open season on John Lithgow, though.

That 9/10¢ at the end of gas prices is such a scam. You asshole billionaires can’t take the hit of a fraction of a penny?

Lady Gaga B-Side.

If you're Italian and you're in a relationship with a Dom named Mike from New Jersey you can call yourself Jersey Mike's Hot Italian Sub

OMG. I started a revolt and it worked. The meeting has been canceled.

After 2+ years, last Friday I let the recurring 12p-1p “Lunch” entry on my calendar expire. This is the entry I created as a defensive measure against invitations to noon meetings, because the organizer says “tHaT’s tHe OnLy tImE eVeRyOnE iS aVaILaBLe”. This morning I got a lunch meeting invite.

Twice on Sunday, y’all.

Wha if we sent Kendal Jenner to give Iran a Pepsi?

I wish my neighbors would put a pillow behind their head board.

Remember when Pei Wei used to be good?

My adult son Sonar just ordered Waygu Beef Wellington at Taco Bell.

One soft shelled TACO, coming up.

I can’t wait to fly two American Flags, stacked one above the other, at full staff when turmp dies.