Dreamt that I made a breakthrough in cold fusion and for $1K each I could make these tiny reactors the size of soda cans that could power a car for a century on a thimble full of deuterium and then the oil companies hired the Slut Gnomes of False Berlin to kill me and they had tiny light sabers and

Jack to Ennis, in the director’s cut.

On Tuesday, a New Jersey town pulled $91M out of Citizens Bank over its business with ICE prison contractors GEO Group and CoreCivic. Yesterday, Citizens announced it was ending its relationships with GEO and CoreCivic. Money managers should DIVEST from #$GEO #$CXW www.nj.com/essex/2026/0...

I like to imagine there’s someone like Galen Erso working at Space X, hiding flaws in Nelo Smuk’s plans, so one shot to the core will destroy the whole Death Star.

Huh. Song of the South isn’t on Disney Plus.

Wanna see my impression of a Space X launch? I / __ 🔥

When turmp and all his collaborators are executed, they should be buried at America’s first national pissing lawn. There will be a museum there so you can learn more details about all the horrible things they each did, to help you decide which grave you want to piss on…

Jury nullification is so easy. First, never say “jury nullification” when reporting to jury duty or from then on. Then, during deliberations and any questioning afterward, just say, “I don’t think the prosecution proved their case.” All verdicts are opinions and you’re entitled to yours…

Do we really need TWO Dakotas?”

Pretty sure this post is why they decided not to launch.l

What’s the hanky code for leave me alone?

Weird way to tell everyone you don’t know what mirrors are.

Today is my 25th Arizonaversary! I moved to Arizona 25 years ago, pulling a little trailer full of hope and optimism. I’ve still got it all, and more. Best thing I ever did.

turmp knows mail in voting and vote counting machines help his fascist supporters as much as they help everyone else, that they don’t give anyone an advantage. He just wants to plant doubts in people’s minds so he can challenge legitimate results he doesn’t like.

Why would we keep the corpses of executed people in prison?

Can’t wait for today’s SpaceX Starship launch to end in a giant crashplosion like they all do, for them to cheer “Success!”, and then watch the fake stock price go even higher.

I wonder if AI could understand the difference between a butt dial and a booty call?

Cannot wait until we can reverse Graham and McConnell’s positions in this meme.

Has any checked where Garak was when one of our Senators mysteriously died?

I have lived in Arizona for 25 years and I will still never get used to rain being hot.

Hey, friends. This is the data to input for those Pantone birth chart color palettes we’re all seeing. Don’t. Just don’t. Someone will use this data for nefariousness. They’ll scour social media to see your post so they’ll have even more info about you. The Zodiac is fake. So are the colors.

Nuremberg trials are the moderate position.

🔥🔥🔥

@warren.senate.gov this is the person you praised for his “humor and wit” today. Evil people do not deserve soft memorials.

The discord was lit today

Someone should call for a Senate Leadership vote tomorrow. Just for the lulz.

Did you know that if you see some dumb shitpost that makes other people laugh but not you, you can just scroll right past it? Stopping to “Well, actually…” some stupid shitpost that’s going to get forgotten in 10 minutes anyway just delays you from finding another shitpost that WILL make you laugh.

Mitch McConnell looks fairly decent in that proof of life photo that was just released, I mean as decent as someone can look after selling their soul to the Devil and then having it sub-let to tronald dump.

I hate that straight people know what Grindr is now, that this joke would make sense to most people. Is there nothing that’s just for us queermo’s anymore?

Mitch McConnell is still dead in my heart, because I believe, and that’s what matters.

If you can’t adopt, consider sponsorship. For less than a dollar a day, you can ensure Washington DC and South Carolina rent boys left destitute by the passing of Lindsay Graham have the poppers and douching supplies they need. Your generosity can make a difference.

What if “I Saw Beyoncé at Burger King” and "Bitch Better Have My Money" are actually both about Beyoncé? Maybe she just hangs out at Burger Kings bumming money off of people.

Sarah McLachlan looks directly into the camera as “In the Arms of the Angels” starts to play. Washington DC and South Carolina rent boys have been left destitute by the passing of Lindsay Graham. Won’t you consider adopting one?

Surely it would take less than twenty minutes.

Inexcusably rude that Mitch McConnell hasn’t issued a statement about the death of Lindsay Graham.

No, I JUST talked with Lindsay Graham for twenty minutes.

BREAKING: Graham Officially Withdraws from Life

Huh. Not what I was expecting this one to be about. But I’ll take it.

stuck in time loop after jump to the left

Straight beefcake should be criminalized.

Quick survey Is it expected to tip people who come to your home to deliver and assemble fitness equipment? It’s a treadmill. They’re working on it now. It just occurred to me that maybe I should tip when they’re done. Although I did already pay a significant sum for the service What do you think?

What kind of douchenozzle does someone have to be think that people opposed to rape really just have a political conflict with rural/working class men? Me: Rape is bad and we shouldn’t elect people who we know are rapists. Zach Beauchamp: Why do you hate men who work for a living?

No. It’s the rape that we hate.

Reminder in advance: You don’t have to respect the dead when the dead person is someone horrible.

The false world turmp creates with his lies.

Yeah but she had the unfair advantages of being completely awesome and a total badass.

Imagine being so arrogant as to think YOU were the one needed to bless the rains down in Africa.

Just saw a bumper sticker that reads; “Warning: I am allergic to stupid people” Honestly, that sounds like a you problem.

Only turmp could make me root against the US team.

I can’t* believe the Democrats would nominate someone that would make me root for Susan Fucking Collins. *Actually I can. The Democratic Party Department of Shooting Ourselves in the Foot continues to operate at peak efficiency.