I dreamt I was a vampire living in a hotel with other vampires. My friend Andrew caught a vampire disease which meant he was now a skeleton, with the exception of a crisp ginger mustache. Can't get the image of him slowly being escorted down the hallway by a health care worker out of my head.

Owning an espresso machine is great. I'd recommend owning one for 350 days a year. ... Today was a cleaning and descaling day. I cannot in good faith recommend owning an espresso machine.

Help us make hope normal again. Join the Green Party now.

Playing No, I'm Not a Human with my partner. We're both sick so not leaving the flat. It's messed with our sleeping pattern so we're semi nocturnal too. Feeling claustrophobic and dizzy in our flat... The game and the world seem to blending a bit too much right now 🫨 Are you alone?

I topped up the salt in my new dishwasher last night. It didn't ask me to, I just did it for the kicks really. I've had it for a month and was surprised at how little salt it's used. Left a few stray salt granules at the bottom after. Done 2 washes since and everything is coming out cloudy.

Flashback to Summer 2008: I worked in a fish and chip shop and god was it hot. We had a fan but isn't to keep us cool, it was to go behind the fridge freezer to stop it overheating. We eventually had enough and used it to cool us down. Fridge freezer broke. We got in trouble.

He is become cringe, destroyer of meme #DOGE

You can donate directly to Ukraine's war effort choosing if you want your money to go towards: - Defence - Humanitarian demining - Medical aid - Rebuilding - Education u24.gov.ua/result/success

Working in tech is crazy. My keyboard broke so I asked my boss for a £250 keyboard, it arrives on Monday. When I was a support worker the company debated if it was really their responsibility to stock the staff room with instant coffee.

I was talking with my sister about how weird it was that people used the Four Humors theory even into the 20th century, isn’t it so stupid to reduce everything to these chemical systems? And she said “Look at the way people talk about dopamine, serotonin, and oxytocin on TikTok” Huh.

For those that don't know, I continue to own skittles I purchased back in, I wanna say, 2014? #science

I don’t know if I have ADHD but it would explain why my brain spontaneously thinks such thoughts as: “Jeff Bezos vs a cup of tea, available from Thursday night on pay per view”

It's Friday, I'm in love! 💖

every day we see more and more evidence of society descending into utter lawlessness and chaos

Just discovered that Higgidy has reduced the size of their pies by 20%! Who thought that was a good idea? No one fancies a light pie for dinner!

You ever just...

Since replacing Facebook on my home screen with Bluesky I've found I'm spending less time on social media. Bluesky doesn't scratch my social media itch as good as Facebook but #FuckZuck. This might actually go some lengths to curing my social media addiction.

I have no idea what I'm doing here. I never used Twitter; was always a Facebook girl. Tired of social media apps being full of far right 🚮 these days so 👋 I like: - Polaroid photography - Pokemon - Being a gay