eatin gyoza with the soy sauce in measuring cups at this fancy place called 私のキッチン

had my drivers license for 11 years now and it’s only been suspended for like 4.5% of that time not baddddddd

smoked that shit that puts you in a Nintendo dsi

Beefingwithmychickwhileiminjail

I kinda cooked here

gay woman celebrating post coital cereal and cozy bed with her wife

still this btw

the inconsistency of my paycheck and it being deposited borderline drives me insane bc wdym sometimes it’s deposited at 8:30pm and now it’s been like 11pm and later before it even deposits

When I die I want to be floated down a river of Wingstop ranch

wife killed it on my nails as she always does 🥺 seriously forever thankful for @softsoftserve.fun

do be doing a thing n such my wife always making me feel so prettyyyyyyy

smoking that shit that makes turn signals blink

she rice on my krispy til I treat

out of context kendy: “I wish I could take your fingers off”

TRANSGENDER FOR EVERYBODY

my gay lil work desk

subtle foreshadowing or something idk I’ve had these plates almost 5 years and I’ve only really figured it out for like what a year now

2026 we’re screenmaxing i need to get another iPad and my two laptops home to achieve peak flow state

I wish to have a net worth of 17 dolars one day

not me getting 3 computers for free from work I promise I’m not stealing

Lasagna time

Welcome!

pretty sure this guys got evil in his bones

how can mirrors be real if our eyes aren’t real

lady on the phone @ work : “well I guess Samsung and everyone just want me to k*** myself then huh”

project fix the guy who got his keyboard drivers removed so badly by scammers they won’t reinstall 😐 thanks dudes

getting my ass kicked in cooking mama mini games

turbo the transgender vape

🎄🎁🧸Merry Christmas!🧸🎁🎄 @barelycool.wtf

taking extra cute pictures with my wife tonightttttt

you know I keep that mf thang on me‼️‼️‼️

eatin that pépite de castor

i need a quick twenty forty thousand billion gajillion dollars for something rq

this guy won’t leave my girl alone at the bar smh

call shawty a dump truck the way she back it up and I beep her

working hard to get her 𝒑𝒓𝒆𝒈𝒐𝒓𝒏𝒂𝒕

Oh okay thanks

got free $1000 ultra 7 powered Lenovo for work now i like jobs where I can be a little gremlin in the trash 😁

last I heard they got eloped in Niagara Falls

sure do like having burn barrels to get rid of the cardboard from multiple projects and litany of sticks that litter our yard, sure don’t like burning my arm hair and eyelashes in the process

how it’s been lately

Important

the only bush and chick pee I want is from my wife while I play with her garbanzos

des moines is safe sorry for the scare to the like 1 iowan that follows me

52 minutes I’m about to destroy des moines Iowa first

25 minutes I need to be put into an enclosure before I escape and wreak havoc on the nearest major metropolitan area akin to Godzilla

blew this shit up btw

screaming internally bc my paycheck that always gets deposited at 9pm on Thursday’s is 15 min late

a creature of habit one could say 🧚‍♀️