guys is it weird that ive been more motivated to ⭐️rve just to get my crushes attention?

im so late to this but happy new year 🖤

⊹˚˙♱˙˚⊹ unpinning at 130 lbs

good morning everypony ☕️

im really hoping alternate day fasting works better for me bc im surprisingly good at fasting but terrible at restricting >.<

#edsky #edtwt #caterpillarsky

im gonna try fasting every other day this december and see how that turns out for me :3

what a tragedy

im all ready for december >w<

𓊆ྀི❤︎𓊇ྀི 𝘏𝘰𝘶𝘯𝘥'𝘴 𝒟𝑒𝒸𝑒𝓂𝒷𝑒𝓇 𝘈𝘤𝘤𝘰𝘶𝘯𝘵𝘢𝘣𝘪𝘭𝘪𝘵𝘺 . . . 🪡 ♱˚₊‧𓆩 ❦ 𓆪 ‧₊˚♱ ⤷ 𝘰𝘱𝘦𝘯 4 𝘮𝘰𝘳𝘦

i just realized how much i hate being stared at while i eat especially by someone who tends comment on how much i eat around her and tells me "thats enough cheetos" and im jusst urrghhh

chicken parmesan salad 4 breakfast (460)

nyansona >w<

i think the ed is genuinely dropping my libido but some of my friends seem to always wanna do stuff when we hang out and i dont wanna dissapoint anyone but i am exhausted i nono wanna

brkfast - 750

₊˚ʚ 🍙 ₊˚✧ﾟ. 𝘶𝘯𝘱𝘪𝘯𝘯𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘢𝘵 130 𝘭𝘣𝘴 ˚₊‧꒰ა 🎀 ໒꒱ ‧₊˚ ⤷ 𝘰𝘱𝘦𝘯 4 𝘮𝘰𝘳𝘦

im worried that purging wasn't enough even though i kept going as much as i could im worried that im still gonna gain bc i binged but im exhausted

purging into a plastic bag in my car because i dont want anyone in my house knowing what im doing

guess what i did with sewing scissors and a tiktok tutorial (my hair)

me when i book a session for cbt therapy and end up in a sex dungeon for cock & ball torture

me: "im gonna try recovering" also me: locks in and ⭐️ves for 3 days straight

saw an instagram reel that said "going out for food costs an hour of your life" and that makes me wanna never buy fast food again

i gained so much im only 8 lbs under my sw now i dont think i can recover actually

₊˚ʚ 🎀 ₊˚✧ﾟ. semi recovery era ˚₊‧꒰ა 🎀 ໒꒱ ‧₊˚ ⤷ 𝘰𝘱𝘦𝘯 4 𝘮𝘰𝘳𝘦

^_^

i somehow lost a few lbs despite eating so much so a win for me ig?

question 4 mooties who've gone into in patient for non-ED reasons, how easy is it to get away with being disordered, skipping meals, not eating all of it, excercising etc? im planning on going to the hospital tomorrow morning because im feeling svicxdal and i wanna know jic

guess whos gonna kts because of the election results!! :D

ive been here for 4 hours n 40 minuted and my shift doesnt end for another 6 + hours someone kill me

me when i fucking gained

im anxious my bf is tired of me / doesnt like me anymore and it makes me want to dye

im on my period and ive gained back some weight so i can actually see my boobs through my shirt and this is the most dysphorix ive felt in ages im gonna combust

waiting for my yearly october canon event, if i get no canon event im gonna be really concerned

my work pants are starting to feel tight on me without a belt, fuck thats the most triggering thing ive ever felt in my life why did i eat

breakfast (the whole thing is 470c but i couldnt finish it)

getting back to my ortho roots

me when i say ill stay if the universe gives me a sign and the universe actually gives me a sign

im so tired of trying... if the universe gives me a sign to stay, i will, but im hoping it doesnt, because i just want to end it all.. i know it will be sad for everyone else, but i dont think im strong enough to keep going...

all of it would be done, i wouldnt have to worry about anything ever again, never have to worry about taxes, and bills, wether ill be able to survive on my own, wether all my loved ones are gonna leave me, all of it would go away, all my worries, id just be gone and never have to worry again..

ive already figured out who and how much of my money i want to go to if i were to go through with Keeping Myself Safe, but idk what would happen to my plushies, who should i give them to?

im feeling svicxdal rn but i feel like i don't "deserve" to feel this way, like "oh you've made so much progress you cant actually be entertaining this right? youre not actually svicxdal youre looking for attention"

im so tired of taking up space, im sorry

i should just cut everyone off so they will never be burdened by me again, and figure it out on my own

the funny thing is i dont deserve any of the good things i have, im actually a terrible person

i think i was born to love but never be loved, i was made to be used and thrown away

i miss everyone so much, everyone ive ever known, all the people ive hurt, and everyone whos hurt me, everyone i miss everyone so much.. im sorry im not enough