@nathanaclark.bsky.social hi dude, can you explain what the pros/cons of xG are and how clubs use it, please?

What’s your favourite REM song, if you have one? #REM @remhq.bsky.social

My wife, dog and 2 cats have gone to bed upstairs, me and my other cat are wide awake downstairs, he’s on my lap and my leg is on fire. Could be a verse to “Insomniac” by the mad Reform lady.

Oh, Angie, don't you weep The Tory tears still taste sweet I hate that sadness in your eyes But Angie, Angie Ain't it time we said goodbyyyeee #AngelaRayner

Has Brexit genuinely improved anything?

Big boy Kingy, he’s helping out in the kitchen. We’re like bloody Gordon and Jack Ramsey in here

Anyone know when a chorizo ring/sausage is one that has to be cooked first, or can be eaten straight away or cooked? (packet doesn’t specify) #chorizo #sausage #spain

I’m not saying everyone in 3 quarter length trackies is a flag/roundabout shagger, but every flag/roundabout shagger has got a pair of 3 quarters.

Good mornin #Wordle ya lovely lovely little game, have a crackin bit of bacon an enjoy ya friday lock up ya van and get a pint in a bosh!

I can’t go to the football on Saturday because it is my dog’s (3rd) and cat’s (15th) birthday. Mrs has organised a small family party. I’ve bought 90 cans of beer/cider.

Can’t agree with having a bread roll with fish and chips. Also some of you call it a “barmo stotty cobcake” for fucks sake.

Water companies advertising on the radio to explain their bill increase. Ok cheers, you can stick that advert where the sun don’t shine, sunbeam.

I like tennis but the way the players nod at the ballpersons to request a ball and then assess the balls and just tap 2 back and then get waited on with drinks and towels and stuff, it is pretty grim and they need silence to serve. Reeks of toff private schooling

Small dog off to the vets this afternoon, kennel cough spray up nose and a check-up. Can’t believe she’s nearly 3 already. Shares a bday with her cat sister - cat to be 15 - which I can’t believe even more. It’s a good job she’s got 9 lives!

Absolutely reeling, just paid £2.90 for a tea in a high street #coffee place, as I’m 2 drinks away from a free drink. Then I’m out, it’s over.

Caught the guys having a team meeting, not sure what they’re plotting but I imagine it’s mouse related or someone’s had a shit in the office again. #pets #cats #dog #brainstrust

My dog got me with a classic 1-2 this morning, 1. tongue jab up the nostril, so I go eeuugh. 2. tongue straight in the mouth. 5:30 am.

Cracking episode of the Dog House tonight, lovely stuff

Too hot for cat

Too hot for the dog

Saw the first Jurassic Park at the cinema when it came out, total and utter crap. Never seen it again or any sequels. The tune is quite good though.

Joy Crookes, you’ve charmed me

Buzzing for Libertines and Rod Stewart today, possibly Nile Rogers. Favourite Rod song is Downtown Train. Favourite Libs is Dont look back into the Sun. Seen the Libs a few times in their prime. Make 1975 look like big babies (Roy Keane style).

Pulp Babies is about the best yet

I’m the Danny Rose of glastonbury, need to google who’s on next as not heard of them before #beabadoobee but she has an ep called Loveworm which instantly reminded me of Spaceworm #gossipmomgers

I saw Neil Young years back and he was amazing, one of the best nights and Paul McCartney joined him onstage at the end… can Glastonbury match that. Is Macca there… my lips are sealed… ITK? 😜

Is Cmat a parody?

Does anyone still do the thing where you point to someone’s t-shirt and go oop, as if they’ve spilt something, then when they look down you boop them on the nose?

Do the politically extreme folk ever stop whinging and moaning? Complaining all of the time, non stop.

I know best of albums aren’t what cool people like, but I do in some circumstances. Lionel Richie, Back to Front. Seamless, faultless, perfect. My Dad introduced me to that when I was a boy. Love you big guy.

Too many good Beach Boys songs to mention, loved them since I can remember. On holiday, car journeys, friends, family, happy, sad times, they were always there. RIP Brian Wilson

Her with her best friend, madness as a pair, both knackered here

My girl and her mate, little dogs with big hearts.

When my speaker says “battery low please charge” my dog looks at it and is not at all sure. Takes her a day to move on.

“gimme a fuckin mini cheddar”

Been away for a few days, #COYS, picked the dog up and she went absolutely mental, at home and sat on my lap for ages. The cats are ambivalent at best.

@mrrickygervais.bsky.social hi Ricky please get in touch, I’ve got a great idea for “Brent: The Musical”. Brent tunes and a biopic of his life. Brent kinda narrates and strums his way through it - a bit of the rooster in Robin Hood animated film type of vibe. Stage, cinema, animation, sessions…

Lovely dog but a bit lippy #shihtzu

Release the sausages.

Had a fantastic time visiting Swanage Railway and meeting the fantastic volunteers whose passion and dedication keep it running. The heritage railway, steaming through the stunning Purbecks past Corfe Castle to Swanage, is truly something special in Dorset. Why not visit? www.swanagerailway.co.uk

I fear this country was built on a foundation of cringe that will eventually erode into the sea

My partner painted a plate of our dog and does she look like Jimmy Saville?

My dog checking in on the goats yesterday

Bless him

It arrived in a big yellow taxi

I watched this on a plane and with that plane heightened feeling you get I thought this was a masterpiece.

A true entertainer and so gifted, a magical footballer. Broke my heart in 2002 but Happy Birthday all the same

On my bonnet today outside Morrisons. To quote Alan Partridge, sort of, they were great banter.

Gulls are equally interesting and cruel. They treat each other badly but still hang about in groups. Complex birds.

Just seen the Millwall keeper’s assault, fucking disgusting, a disgrace to football. A pathetic club and a pathetic fan base of yobs, scum and wankers.