todays sagpitch

tonight's bangers and mash is about to get ✨girthy✨

When you wake up and you've got the day off work and absolutely no commitments for the day

Sonic Racing Crossworlds is so good man

if ghosts were real then Big Exorcism would have figured out a way to charge a monthly fee to go keep your ghost sort of just exorcised enough to not be a problem but not so exorcised that it won't recover if you don't pay your bill

More of this in games

it just isn't @mayhemfilmfestival.bsky.social season until i've put together my spreadsheet that helps me figure out the optimal food breaks

when you ask me how im doing

kid behind me: *throws a ball of paper at my head* me: *looks back in anger* teacher: COLIN, GO AND SEE PRINCIPAL GALLAGHER AT ONCE

Rudolph is OBVIOUSLY not even really arctic. SEND HIM BACK

I am simply suggesting that my cat in particular should be allowed to live forever because she is such a special little gal with a floofy little face

hear me out

play Deep Rock Galactic: Survivor

dipping my toe into Veilguard and my lukewarm take is it feels like a remaster of an xb360 game

todays sapwicktch

alexa how do i mute stuff about charlie kirk without muting stuff about captain kirk

it's nice when a game has great graphics but it's nicer when a game has a file size of less than 100GB

Dragon Age rhymes with carnage

Butcher: the steaks are pretty huge, do you want one cut in half rather than two? Me: Oh, honey,

Why is it called a fish market and not a prawnbroker

does farting make u lose weight or because it's gas does it actually mean you gain a bit of weight if u take a big breath in and hold it do u lose weight or gain it

Cheers BBC nice one

Locust E. Coyote

be the public menace you wish to see in the world

mad respect for bisexuals. just enjoyers of smoochin' on hotties, no asterisk. they know what they're about

why did nobody tell me they put Monaco 2 on xbox

fr google?

did they ever confirm definitely whether that one band were giants or not

I've lost half a stone since June and lemme tell ya every time I watch a TV show and they're eating crisps out of a big share size bag I am filled with a desperate longing

Today's sangwidge

im smart www.youtube.com/watch?v=PJwK... #Silksong

im smart www.youtube.com/watch?v=PJwK... #Silksong

did john cena ever move up to advanced thuganomics

due to budgetary constraints, the punchline to this joke will

A silky spirit embiggens the smallest song

how come banking errors in my favour happen so much less frequently than monopoly led me to believe

reality show where people from New York compete against people from York

america: why do hot dog buns come in packs of 6 but hot dog buns come in packs of 8? england: why does bread come in loaves of 16 but beans come in tins of 465

a/s/l??

nobody wants to twerk anymore

❌ hot take ✅ hot sake

love being in the UK where the electoral choices are diet poison, regular poison, poison with added shards of glass, and the monster raving loony party

this Sunday: WWE Clash at Demonhead

Tea that has gone cold is an affront to God. However, wasting tea is worse. You must consume the disgusting cold tea or you are a coward

"cut off the head of the snake, and the body dies" ok but that's true of quite a lot of animals actually. this is not a specifically snakey trait at all tbh

coming soon to Netflix: Reservoirs Dog, a film i made where i just took a cute dog to play at various reservoirs and filmed it

sea bass implies the existence of land bass and sky bass

pre-ordering the deluxe edition of Sonic Racing Crossworlds as a treat

I want to explain a few things and then it might be clearer why UK trans people are upset. In 2001 I married my wife, Sylvia. In 2005 I started medical transition. (1/13)

"tricep dips" sounds a lot more delicious than it is