howling crying throwing up laughing so hard at this the more i watch it the funnier it gets www.instagram.com/reel/DSFxVFH...

I love pits but I wouldn't dig a hole one

"make it the cutest thing anyone will ever see. make everything it does just be super cute. and then give it the softest warmest fuzziest belly. and if anyone tries to touch the belly? knives" - God designing the cat

kindness is free and yet so many are still broke

Announcing my discovery of the Paprika Paradox: ✅ Paprika makes fries taste delicious ✅ Paprika is cheap, doesn't go off, and easy to store ⚠️ And yet most of the fries I encounter are distinctly un-paprika'd Science cannot explain this phenomenon

chimkn

*trying to become a LinkedIn influencer* Here's what the Sonic the Hedgehog character Miles "Tails" Prower taught me about working in the tech industry:

legacy implies the existence of armacy

do you take this woman, for richer or poorer, in sickness and in health, or if she were a worm,

I have reimagined Dungeons & Dragons for the modern era. It's called Fascists & Foreigns

when downdetector is down www.youtube.com/watch?v=1KEH...

having loaded up black ops 7 again to try Endgame i am even more resolute in my opinion that it is not just very bad, it is an unprecedented innovation in badness, and a modern day horseman of the apocalypse

all Sonic the Hedgehog playthroughs are speedruns

remember, when ur making gravy it's FOUR spoons of gravy granules and ONE spoon of coffee granules. do NOT mix that up

scanning through the black Friday Xbox sales and found this game about stepping on crunchy leaves. I love videogames so much youtu.be/PeLvUpAiGbI?...

Jazzy seemed playful so I got the laser pointer out but it was out of battery. Jazzy went and stared at the wall I usually project the red dot onto expectantly. Which means. She has known it was play this whole time. And I just can't 🥹

are we really sure on the whole "tomato in is a fruit" thing are we sure it isn't just like an april fools prank that's gotten really out of hand

the neck of the woods is vulnerable to the vampire of the woods

What it feels like to put an overpayment into your mortgage www.youtube.com/watch?v=Yd34...

I love bsky but it cant contend with the raw power of Tumblrs 14 option polls. my shitposts here have to be reigned in

pro tip: snacking on too many chocolate bars? instead, try slowly nibbling a pear over the course of an hour. that way it fills you up more! mostly with sadness

my primary function is to enable my wife and/or cat to fall asleep on me

doctors say you should have at least FIVE portions of fruit, veg or videogames a day

I had to spend a few hours updating my silly Android microgame because of the Unity exploit, so idk maybe you could give it a little try?? play.google.com/store/apps/d...

call my cat the phantom menace the way she's sneaky and prone to mischief

due to inflation my posts will now contain one extra word each. frog

gm. it sez here on my little computer that u r cool and good and nice btw. and it cant rly b wrong. becuz of science reasons

You go to a restaurant and have an absolutely gorgeous gourmet burger. So you go again a year later and they serve you a Rustlers microwaved burger with obvious signs of mould on the bun. This is the Call for Duty Black Ops series

good night I guess

if u download 1,024MB of stand up comedy videos that's a gigglebyte

Making a sandwich come on this journey with me friend

when daddy is back from his work trip

my PT just said "20 seconds of plank is like 12 years a slave but for white people" and then I had to do planning for ages while laughing

what does the "baby changing station" change them into

Won a copy of Trepang2 from a @team17.com twitch stream yesterday and honestly how did I not know about this game. This is some seriously good Max Payne, FEAR type Hell Yeah vibes and I'm so here for it. Also Xbox Play Anywhere so you know I'm playing it on the Ally on a fricken train right now

lmao why do u have so many baskets??? u dont even have that many eggs. they cud easily fit in one basket

when u clean up an ice surface with ur legs that's zamboknees

if i ever win the lottery i will not explicitly tell anyone. but you will know by my monthly spend on ramen restaurants. you will know.

oh shit oh fuck

just gotta scroll a little longer until I find the social media post that makes it all better

we're all just being forced to keep playing monopoly after someone else already won except it's real life

my cat thinks instead of going to work i should fawn over her all day and i think she makes a compelling argument

u gotta stand up for what u really believe in

so are they like pro-arthritis now or

Day 4 of @mayhemfilmfestival.bsky.social and I'm definitely doing absolutely fine haha where the coffee at tho

there are plenty of mountains high enough tbh. mountains are so high. i ain't climbing any of that shit

Rating all the films at @mayhemfilmfestival.bsky.social

it's hard to be unhappy when u have good ramen

this seems like a good moment to shill my 11 minute intro to the Asus ROG Ally youtu.be/t3nNszSCsrI #Xbox #XboxShowcase

jesus christ