unlike my old laptop, i have only hostility towards my phone. when it's slow, i get mad... like a manager having to deal with a high employee

Their isnt another wing now. Shouldn't it just be "The Wing" and not "The West Wing?"

I'm a veteran criminal justice reporter. I've never seen anything like ICE-occupied Memphis.

My shop is open again! AND I now offer international shipping!! 💖 Get some awesome stickers in time for Christmas! shop ➡️ mcapriglione.art

I hate that every week there's something stupid like an Everyone Has To Drink Pee Now Bill and the alert sounds to CALL YOUR REPRESENTATIVES THIS IS NOT A DRILL and you really wish you could just trust them to not go for the pee drinking bill

*Ahem* You have to be explicit when you flirt with me. "This is flirting" is a good start Otherwise I will assume you are just being nice.

we are the granddaughters of the women your reindeer couldn't run over

Look at his keychain! There are no keys on it! He has to go through several extra layers of pockets to get his keys, despite the keychain being RIGHT THERE. This is the Alan Dye experience. This is why your iPhone is terrible now..

oh look it really is a neurotypical conversation simulator

America is two predatory loans stacked in an SS overcoat

The hard truth is that December is always make-or-break for our newsroom. A full one-third of all the funds we need to do the journalism you rely on comes to us in December. Please consider donating today. We'd really appreciate it! 🫶 tinyurl.com/y6wzer7w

We got Weird Al out here singing Killing In The Name, the time for moderation is over

Feels annoying that I have to specify that from here on out, politicians need to have adult-level emotional regulation.

What an interesting coincidence.

A #PudgyHorse tribute to the Lascaux cave paintings, painted with the Strata Trio watercolours made by @thoughtsupnorth.bsky.social from Cretaceous rocks from the Albertan badlands. From 2020. Might as well post this one as it's been stolen and sold on Australian Temu. 🙃 #ArtAdventCalendar

tapping the sign

I mean, um, hey, you okay? It's not easy to cape for actual war crimes, I know. This strawman is really flimsy and very flammable though. Do better.

Person riding atop bubble assures bubble is sturdy and structural

Been getting a lot of pushback, especially on Threads, so, Mea Culpa: In hindsight, had I known that calling all Trump supporters racist would hurt their feelings and make them so upset, I would have done it much sooner. Sorry, I'll try to do better.

the whole trump / Hegseth etc defense of “oh it was the other guy” doesn’t really work when it’s your policy and operation, when you’re the guy in charge, and when you are refusing to turn over anyone over for criminal charges and are therefore aiding and abetting

My "I don't support Sex with Hitler" statement has a lot more people asking about my support for "Sex with Hitler."

Please show these homes that were occupied. Please demonstrate how many unbanked individuals afforded homes nobody can afford.

What is he gibbering about?!

Great culture can save lives. Literally. Amazing letter in today’s @thetimes.com about Tom Stoppard

Currently dorking out over this graph about child mortality with my brother. Just mind boggling to take in.

They were 8 and 11 years old

Doodles for Hong Kong 🇭🇰 In response to the tragic Tai Po fire, I'm doing charity commissions. Anyone who puts over £25/250HKD into "Feeding Hong Kong" or Hong Kong SPCA can request a coloured doodle of any prehistoric animal 🙏

*barn door open* *horses running riot and setting fires* "Maybe somebody should close the door..."

Pain has been the lot of those in poverty, and they are expected to perform it to be deemed worthy. Somehow we don't expect any suffering from the wealthy. The wealthy can afford to suffer, and should.

Strong floor, no ceiling - Zillow listing for an open grave

This essay has already generated more hate mail than anything else I've written from the Star Tribune. Which is, I think, telling ... though I'm not sure of what.

Hitler was bad. An essay that, you know, I didn’t think I’d need to write.

明日の18時、とっても嬉しいお知らせがあります...！！

Well, my mom's legs did phase through any table she sat on so another autism confirmation. Or rather another Historical Medical Frymblal

folks sticking their heads through the door and shouting "y'all still hate AI?" and getting sad when everyone screams "YES YOU FUCKER" is such a fun holiday game for the whole family.

People too lazy to come up with entries in mad-libs

Happy possum

idiot guy: i'm like the wolf i'm stalking my prey alone through the forest and being raw as fuck even if i'm in a group i'm the alpha actual wolf: i love my friends so much!!! i love to romp and kiss my bros and work together as a family <3 awooo etc etc have you seen the puppies oh my god come see

I went through officer training in Army ROTC in college. During our summer training, during an exercise, one of the trainees thought it would be funny and hard-core to bring a red marker, and during an exercise where we were guarding prisoners and got overrun to mimic slitting the prisoners throats.

Pecan pie is glucose gelatin covered in flavorless bark. Maybe a bit of tasting like goat but I have not had goat.

my goodness: Chotiner: who funds this shit Ben Smith: How dare you ask such a question. Check your facts! Chotiner: I have now checked my facts. A thread (1/381) Ben Smith:

Look, we all agree this is amazing. But we used to live comfortable in the understanding that you had to invite Chotiner in, like a vampire. Now we know that Chotiner might strike at any time, like a velociraptor.

No greater joy for me than my cats, discovering the talking scale is a cool smooth surface, reporting their weight to me when out of sight as they are surprised each time by the voice from nowhere. *quiet house* "Hello. Your weight is twelve point six pounds" *skittering cat feet*

Today, after months of requests, I toured the Broadview ICE Processing Facility. I want to share what I saw. The facility has no food vendor, no medical care, and detainees have to use toilets in the middle of shared cells. These are in no way suitable conditions to be holding anyone — period.

The hell with futon Futoff, mothetfucker

Freedom of speech is not the same as absolute consequence-free directed speech. We have perjury, defamation, fraud and other laws because consequence-free directed speech is not the same as protecting general speech from government interference. We know words can harm individuals.