I hate it but I love it

Guess who’s back Back again Maudie’s back And she’s ten

Just thinking about how one time I watched a YouTube compilation of clips from terrible movies and how consequently somehow my interest in the Jim’s Death scene from FATEFUL FINDINGS has literally changed my life.

A triple feature of A GHOST STORY, SKINAMARINK and THE HOUSE WAS NOT HUNGRY THEN will either destroy or save your day

IMPORTANT I used to say “hey hey hey” like The Flying Pig when my sweet baby had a nightmare in the other room and needed immediate assurance that she wasn’t alone. I thought that was just for her but it just defused telepathic warfare between the cats I live with today.

In this bleak, post-literate world, the only thing she knew how to do was write.

Trump using taxpayer funds to promote pro-MAGA political groups across Europe. www.ft.com/content/e2ad...

i had no idea this would become so literal

Google Calendar has more colours!

I’m not going to name or describe him because I don’t want him to ever know I said it but this one dude on ALL MY CHILDREN is a mushmouthed idiot and his scenes are unbearable

I got curious about the English Teacher thing so I looked it up and most of her favourite books are the ones everyone calls their favourites who hasn’t cracked a book since high school. Plus EAT PRAY LOVE. I don’t have a point except wow

“What do they think I am, a goddamn amateur?” brays the worst actress ever he ever seen

I just want you to know from me that this storyline is still going, weeks later, like what the hell, soap operas do THE MOST but you're lingering on THIS

At first, I did not know that Ted off HOW I MET YOUR MOTHER had destroyed the magic and artistry of architecture for me, but then Carmy off THE BEAR was like maybe I'll be an architect now and I was like EEUW, dude, WHY

The FBI used software from the Israeli firm Cellebrite to secretly extract data from the phones of at least a dozen protesters.

I identify with Donna Berzatto so goddamn much.

Just thinking about how growing up, I used thought Stuart off ALL MY CHILDREN was developmentally disabled but now I see he was just really nice. It reminds me of when I saw SMILES - FREE on the menu board at McDonalds and I asked the cashier what they were.

"Expecting me to read books and look up words is discriminatory" is for sure a viewpoint that crops up online, and it's very important to make fun of it every time

Following recent trends ("Skinamarink", "Hokum") here are some free horror movie title ideas for Hollywood: Okily Dokily Neener Neener Kitchy Kitchy Koo Pish Tosh Bing-Bong Oh Bugger Mekka Lekka Hi Mekka Hiney Ho Wowzers!!!! Whoopsy-Doodles Malarkey Wheeeeeeeee Holy Shneikes

This one dude’s performance is very “He didn’t want an act. He wanted THE TRUTH.”

When you’ve just dropped a gumby, you’ve put on AMITYVILLE REX, and you notice the continuity guy gets a mention in the opening credits

Really into low-stakes convalescence, where you HAVE TO lounge in bed for a period of time while your skin absorbs an unguents

Some unexpected DESPERATE HOUSEWIVES/SUPERNATURAL crossovers: last episode, preteen Dean. This episode, Zachariah.

I’m not normally one to say such as slow news day but Goodreads has a new post up that’s about books with a number in the title and that seems like extremely niche information

People flub their lines way more than I noticed back in the day

I just think that it’s pretty rude to shun a famously erratic person if you’re like the only person they ever met who always got Best Behaviour

My handler was surprised to know I’m watching SVU because [redacted] but I was like nah, what bothers me about it is the fantasy that sex crimes are investigated rigorously and rapists are brought to justice. We get along better when I’m drinking, honestly

My handler was enraged to learn that her erratic, hypercritical nemesis off MAFS Au went on to marry a wealthy doormat But *I* support women’s wrongs

I saw this online so I don't know this cat personally but I feel like if he was here he would be wishing you a happy pride

I heard about this library sorting game, I was so excited! but then I looked into it and like * it has A1 elements * you almost HAVE TO throw a lot of beautiful old books on the floor * they're old-timey VOLUMES, all muted colours and samey spines 1/?

It’s been years since I nearly cut my hand off and I still can’t open a can of Fancy Feast without thinking about the period in my life when I could only do it by snagging the tab on a towel hook, squirting cat food juice all over creation.

I really thought OUR POOL IS BIGGER THAN SKYSCRAPERS was a photoshop prank

Oh my god man, these ALL MY CHILDREN goobers who don’t know they’re internet lovahs are in the same room messaging each other

#SVU12 doesn’t trust you to understand ANYTHING. They’re like narrating video footage while we watch it.

I can’t get enough of Co-Producer Speed Weed #SVU12

If my head were veal—which I know it is not—if my head were veal, how much would it be worth?

Am watching a knockoff V/H/S film where it’s VHS instead, am baffled. They’re rarely any good, okay, why would you want to trick my nana into thinking you made one

Imagine being the kind of person who’d be susceptible to Ozempic’s new ads about how you shouldn’t buy the much cheaper generic kind unless you’re a total skid

Because Netflick I’m starting LAW & ORDER: SVU at season 12. It’s as good as 3 or 4, right?

You’re never going to believe this The weirdo who was in the group but disappeared unmentioned ten minutes into the movie is the killer

When you’re just trying to mind your business and you see SLAUGHTERED VOMIT DOLLS on the front page of Does The Dog Die? and you’re like crazy, I was just thinking about SLAUGHTERED VOMIT DOLLS and I didn’t even wannoo

Nothing says I’ve lost interest in the movie like grabbing my phone during one that’s subtitled

The other day, my handler said “I thought Nat Geo was a guy!” I Ducked that sentence just now and it gave me David Attenborough.