Darkness.

💔

"warrants for arrests"?!? you literally could not set the bar any lower

this is obv beside the point but the sheer ham-handedness of DHS leaking a video to a right wing news site just so DHS could turn around and retweet it really is something to behold

No I said don’t tread on *me*. You can get treaded on.

your job now is to find a way to live with people who genuinely want to shoot you in the face

if the falcons hire belichick after dodging that bullet in 2023 I swear to god

even if you thought the criminal charges against Maduro are legit (they aren't) and justified the capture of a foreign head of state (they don't), what on Earth are the criminal charges against his wife that justify kidnapping her too?

starting to think the FIFA peace prize didn't really mean anything

we've all just silently agreed that the work year doesn't start until Monday right

I DON'T WANT THICK BLOOD POURING THROUGH MY HEART I WANT NICE THIN BLOOD POURING THROUGH MY HEART

I, for one, think the president should get to take as much aspirin as he damn well pleases, and in fact should be taking a lot more. Just go to town on the stuff

love too open my google news feed to find AI summaries of a football game that hasn't happened yet

Kavanaugh: Stop ₛₐᵧᵢₙ𝓰 Kavanaugh Stops

maybe this isn't a new thing (I really try to avoid video of the guy as much as possible) but have Trump's eyes always pointed in different directions or is this a new symptom of his cognitive decline

am I doing this meme right

in 2029 there's gonna be a whole lot of this needing to be done

I don't think that's what people meant when they said healthcare was unafford-a-ball

chat why is he yelling at us

yes let's put the sundowning president on primetime television to demonstrate to the entire nation that his brain is mush, another Susie Wiles political masterstroke

*record scratch*

yeah why won't the economy grow by uh *checks notes* 7.6 trillion a year

if any of y'all happen to run into January 2025 me, tell him to stop fucking around and put away the Christmas lights correctly

this isn't just a simple recrop that went awry - in the aired version the crew men and hose have been digitally edited out, so they obviously remastered the wrong version

lotta people saying this house has too many bathrooms, as if there's a correct number of bathrooms for a house that has no front door

more like HalliGAN'T amirite

All of Bluesky this morning:

well, that's enough Internet for today!

Trump meeting is even funnier when you picture JD Vance getting redder and redder as he watches

t-shirt, questions, etc

*clears throat* *taps mic* littoral nazis

My “my 17 references to George Soros aren’t political” footnote is raising a lot of questions answered by my footnote.

computer, enhance

Trump Take Fusilli

deal to re-open government reached after Lucy promises to hold the football for real this time

AND THEN WHAT HAPPENED

permanent layoffs of federal workers is not the appropriate response to a temporary lapse in appropriations

Donald trump can still win the Nobel Peace prize if Mike Pence has the courage

everything is on fire these days, sure, but how is it that 50% of all news stories are not about how I just spent $20 on a bag of store brand coffee at fucking costco

if "we took the freedom of speech away" doesn't lead every Democratic campaign ad for the rest of time, what are we even doing here

sorta weird that the thing he thinks is "wrong" is the amount of payment to the hospital, not the lack of treatment for the patient, right?

the first rule of a successful undercover operation is, tell everyone you're going to be doing an undercover operation

summoning all my most senior employees from around the world so they can sit in the same room together and see with their own eyes how enfeebled and incapable of leading them I am