I'm just saying, if that's what Trump thinks a doctor looks like, I'm hoping he gets to see his doctor soon

when u blockade a waterway in order to open it

it's nice that they got the astronauts those red welcome home balloons, makes the whole thing more festive

is that bad? seems bad

I also sometimes think about doing things I shouldn't do

party of absolute fuckin freaks

is it weird that my first thought when seeing this was about how much fun it will be to pull down that statue with a chain tied to a truck bumper

congratulations to Donald Trump on making the "World's Largest TACO," the Guiness records people will be in touch

if they aren't spending the day making a second installment of the "You Don't Have To Follow Illegal Orders" video starring every elected Democrat in Congress, what are we even doing

what a rollercoaster to go from the national pride of a manned lunar flyby to the national shame of "a whole civilization will die tonight" in under 24 hours

look I'm no expert but maybe we should consider *not* having a president who is Like This

I have the sudden urge to play Kerbal Space Program

It will be really funny to see who the next Solicitor General is after today

we have always been at war with eastasia

Best case here is that importers will get $200+ billion in tariff refunds from the Treasury. But we still paid $8 for eggs. That's not coming back to us. All Trump accomplished is chaos and a massive wealth transfer from consumers to corporations.

state of the union is going to be lit y'all

[phone rings] "Hello, do you have Prince Andrew in a cell?"

Darkness.

💔

"warrants for arrests"?!? you literally could not set the bar any lower

this is obv beside the point but the sheer ham-handedness of DHS leaking a video to a right wing news site just so DHS could turn around and retweet it really is something to behold

No I said don’t tread on *me*. You can get treaded on.

your job now is to find a way to live with people who genuinely want to shoot you in the face

if the falcons hire belichick after dodging that bullet in 2023 I swear to god

even if you thought the criminal charges against Maduro are legit (they aren't) and justified the capture of a foreign head of state (they don't), what on Earth are the criminal charges against his wife that justify kidnapping her too?

starting to think the FIFA peace prize didn't really mean anything

we've all just silently agreed that the work year doesn't start until Monday right

I DON'T WANT THICK BLOOD POURING THROUGH MY HEART I WANT NICE THIN BLOOD POURING THROUGH MY HEART

I, for one, think the president should get to take as much aspirin as he damn well pleases, and in fact should be taking a lot more. Just go to town on the stuff

love too open my google news feed to find AI summaries of a football game that hasn't happened yet

Kavanaugh: Stop ₛₐᵧᵢₙ𝓰 Kavanaugh Stops

maybe this isn't a new thing (I really try to avoid video of the guy as much as possible) but have Trump's eyes always pointed in different directions or is this a new symptom of his cognitive decline

am I doing this meme right

in 2029 there's gonna be a whole lot of this needing to be done

I don't think that's what people meant when they said healthcare was unafford-a-ball

chat why is he yelling at us

yes let's put the sundowning president on primetime television to demonstrate to the entire nation that his brain is mush, another Susie Wiles political masterstroke

*record scratch*

yeah why won't the economy grow by uh *checks notes* 7.6 trillion a year

if any of y'all happen to run into January 2025 me, tell him to stop fucking around and put away the Christmas lights correctly

this isn't just a simple recrop that went awry - in the aired version the crew men and hose have been digitally edited out, so they obviously remastered the wrong version

lotta people saying this house has too many bathrooms, as if there's a correct number of bathrooms for a house that has no front door

more like HalliGAN'T amirite

All of Bluesky this morning:

well, that's enough Internet for today!

Trump meeting is even funnier when you picture JD Vance getting redder and redder as he watches