France before tonight vs France tonight. #FRASPA #FRAESP

I respect France's commitment to not working on a holiday.

French defence watching Spain walk through them. #FRASPA #FRAESP

France in this first half. #FRAESP #FRASPA

No stutter. No problem. #FRAESP #FRASPA

In France, many teams use goals made of stale baguettes hammered into the ground. It's hard, pain-staking work. 😃 #FRAESP

Allez les blancs!!! (Hedging my bets there) #FRASPA

Does anyone else have a whole load of ballpoint pens lying around the house that sort of work, but fade every now and then...and only after you start with a big scribble?

The only half-time show I want to see.

Back in the day, staff would come into my office for appraisal and comment on how lovely the aromas of bhuna, dhansak, and rogan josh were. However, I think they were just trying to curry favour.

I'm ready, are you?

That day I forgot to apply the factor 30 when we went the beach.

Notice to all Bluesky Users: I am imposing a tariff of £2 on every post. You can leave the cash in a brown paper bag behind the bins at the back of the Birkenhead Aldi - I'll pick it up on Thursday on middle aisle day. Crypto also fine. Thank you for your attention etc. etc.

Not sure why I'd want a picture of a boat trip...let alone a crap one drawn by a horse without opposable thumbs. It's political correctness gone mad.

So whoever wins on Wednesday night gets to keep The Falklands? #ENGARG

Don’t know who to credit for this. But it is how I feel.

Spoiler Alert: Excerpt from the duck version of Soylent Green.

Lost my friend in the airport as they left for Helsinki. One second I could see them, and next they'd vanished into Finnair.

Thomas Tuchel not happy with the performance - having a right go at the interviewer. Starting to really like this guy. #NORENG

WE DID IT! WE FUCKING DID IT! WE SURVIVED ITV COVERAGE! And England won.

Harry, remember - interview first, song later. #NORENG

Maggie Thatcher, Lord Nelson, Lord Beaverbrook, Sir Winston Churchill, Sir Anthony Eden, Clement Attlee, Henry Cooper and Lady Diana all having a good laugh in heaven tonight. #NORENG #IYKYK

Haaland taken off when Norway need a goal. #NORENG

Haaland losing his marker before a corner. #NORENG

Jude again. Boom! #NORENG

The curse of Pickford's t-rex arms strikes again. #NORENG

Just remember, Norway's best player was born in Leeds. #NORENG

And Lee Dixon will be on commentary... #NORENG

Viking Row celebration can be risky. #NORENG

Belgium can count themselves unlucky not to have at least taken that to extra-time. I think Spain would have won anyway though. #SPABEL

France v Spain could be a classic though. #SPABEL

Belgian keeper's had a shocker there. #SPABEL

Hydration break. #SPABEL

Lukaku about to come on. #SPABEL

If a player's partner is planning an elective C-section, they should remove the ball by ripping the shirt and dragging it through the hole. #SPABEL

Game on now! #SPABEL

Spain asking questions. Belgium not expecting the Spanish inquisition. #SPABEL

VAR telling Michael Oliver to book himself for that. #SPABEL

Spanish...bloody autocorrect. 👀 #SPABEL

A Belgium goal here might ignite this game. #SPABEL

Hydration break. #SPABEL

Just apropos of nothing, I saw #SPABEL and thought Spag Bol. I should probably get something to eat.

Listening to Andre Agassi discussing the Sinner-Djokovic match. #Wimbledon

Alternate History: The Hastings Tapestry depicts King Harold having his ear grazed by an arrow. His response, jumping up and shouting, "Fight! Fight! Fight!", inspires his troops who see off the French. The ear is totally healed in 3 days and England never discovers garlic.

My sources inform me that Wes Streeting is considering putting a bin on his head and launching a last minute challenge to Andy Burnham.

A France win again. #FRAMAR

When you get to your seat at the match and you're next door to the guy with the massive drum. #FRAMAR

Mitch is alive and well... and in perfect hibernation 🎬 #filmsky #moviesky #cinema

Special arrangements are being made to facilitate Mitch McConnell's next voting intention.