It is Opening Day but I am in the cubicle! Sigh.

I take my mouthful of longevity pills daily so I can have more years of sitting in traffic to get to my cubicle all day. 🤔

“I wonder what people are saying about this on Threads” asked no one ever.

“The technology is not cooperating with me today” means “I never figured out my VCR either”

Lower your expectations for breakfast

Let’s play another exciting game of Cool Sticker or Bird Shit.

Another entry in Facebook group admins who didn’t consider how their group name would look in the feed.

“Excellent side-dick” has a completely different meaning now.

I commute around an hour each way and listen to podcasts or music from my phone. I never turn on the radio, AM or FM. If I did, most of what is on there is voice tracked from another state. www.vulture.com/article/cbs-...

Last month, Chuck Norris called Neil Sedaka and told him there was no way to escape from the ass kicking he was going to give him. The lesson here is you never mess with Chuck Norris.

The Handoff of Chuck Norris

Turned it up, of course!!

R.I.P. Ernie Anastos and keep, you know... www.youtube.com/watch?v=Cfqc...

Ignore is my favorite Outlook feature.

Whenever you see something written out in stickers like this on the back of a vehicle, the person driving that vehicle is most likely a nut.

We’ll address any complaints about my “bad” song list in our next episode of @inyourearholes.com

The title doesn't lie. Thank you to @upinthisbrain.bsky.social @oliverrockside.bsky.social @heavydishongry.bsky.social and to all of you who listened over the past nearly ten years. inyourearholes.posthaven.com/episode-262-...

Well, damn. www.nbcnews.com/news/obituar...

All of the departments at my job when I ask who handles a certain function and they all say it’s some other department.

The older I get, the more I realize Night Shift was the greatest movie of all time.

IQ tests will now be replaced with how many different microwaves can you figure out at the office. Get it just warm enough to eat without melting it into a glob and you’re a genius.

This week, @oliverrockside.bsky.social and @upinthisbrain.bsky.social take the reins of the podcast and direct it to the local Taco Bell for some guilty pleasures. inyourearholes.com/episode-261-...

Tim Apple allowed me to rejoin the world of Apple Podcasts once I created his extra large podcast art. podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/u...

I have the knee brace on today. I love arthritis! Getting older is a hoot. Brace ➡️ Cane ➡️ Walker ➡️ Hoveround ➡️ Urn

Shout out to all the people who can’t spell Robert Duvall.

Arby’s has free wifi. You could bring a laptop up here and work and eat curly fries all day.

Kapow! upinthisbrain.com/705-ive-got-...

Get the Pulitzer ready!

James Van Der Beek was fantastic on Don't Trust the B---- in Apartment 23 and scary as all get out on Criminal Minds. What a talented and by all accounts great guy. Gone way too soon.

We’re walking to the car last Saturday and my wife says “I think there’s a pour house across the street” and being a 🦖 I hear this as “poor house” so I start laughing and say “I think they outlawed those in the 50’s” and we are both completely confused for a good ten minutes.

She would have gotten the gold with this coach.

I deactivated my TikTok because the Chinese having all my data > the Republicans having all my data.

I’m not sure how old my power strip is but I think the phone line connection is a hint.

My guess is many of the people bemoaning the layoffs at the Washington Post don’t subscribe to the Post or any other newspaper.

We're a week late due to weather, but here we are. @upinthisbrain.bsky.social picked the 1986 classic, Ruthless People. @heavydishongry.bsky.social @oliverrockside.bsky.social @docpinko.bsky.social @aliencg.com theshowhole.com/mmc-042-ruth...

People can tell your generation by the color of the sweetener packet you put in your coffee. #pink

One day I’ll buy the original Listerine so I can relive the memories of burning the germs out of my mouth. Of course, without it coming in a glass bottle with the paper/cardboard tube around it, it would not be truly the same.

I love aging. Last week, I wrenched up my knee walking everyday at lunch. Today, I goofed up my back when leaning forward to rinse after brushing my teeth. Now I’m walking like Herman Munster.

Yes, I am back at the office. Yes, I have my cup of tea. Yes, more snow may be on the way. Yes, I am looking forward to another weekend of couch time.

Made it to work with no issues. First cup of tea acquired.

Back to the office tomorrow! I see much hot tea in my future.