We have to go try & replace the fridge today. Going to need my #FemmeArmor to get thru it. I'm flaring, it's in the 90s & 78% humidity. But I'm carrying you all with me & a lil less stress reminding myself of the support last night. Still numb which is getting disconcerting but we'll see how it goes

We're great roommates. Like incredible roommates. We're decent friends. It's just when that line crosses, when it gets deeper, it's like Jeykll & Hyde. I don't know what to do w/this. Yes, I've pointed it out. Can I even reconcile this? And wtf happened? Where the hell did it go wrong?

This box is full of candy beads & seed beads. The Littlest Monster left them behind & doesnt want them. If anyone wants them, if you're willing to pay shipping (not the bin, I'm keeping that) you can have them. I may organize them while watching movies tonight. I can post what I have to this thread.

I was at Home Depot few wks ago & complimented a woman's jeans. Forgot in the south thats an invitation to chat. She got them at a thrift store & debated wearing them to church. Then she said the 4 words: 'I'm not racist but...' I walked away. I never know what to say but I'm not sticking around.

This is not a new thing. Guess what the US did to Indigenous women? To WOC? All the way back to the beginning. Colonize, steal the kids, harm the women. It's still happening. 2026 & we're still not human to so many men. We're playthings. Use us, break us, throw us away, replace us, repeat.

For all the shittiness, figured I should post something positive. Behold! The 1st 2 tomatoes of the season. They're small for Big Boys but we've discovered over the last 3yrs the high temps make for smaller tomatoes. Still damn yummy. I haven't eaten a tomato since the MCAS thing but I'm gonna!

Definitely broken/numb. SO asked me to come downstairs. I heard it before I got to the steps. The compressor in our fridge is making a horrific noise. You know what? I just don't care. It's all falling down around us. Sucks. I guess. At this point? Job, car, basement, marriage, & now this. Fuck it.

Don't get me wrong, I have no desire to cry any more. However, I think something has snapped. My house is full of mold & all I can think is, "Yup." I'm not mad. Not sad. Not even anxious or scared at this point. I'm numb. Utterly empty. That probably should scare me but I can't bring myself to care.

Have I mentioned we discovered the back wall of our basement has been leaking? There's mold growing up the doors. We have to gut it. We've already pulled up the carpet & pulled down some drywall, but I went down yesterday & it all has to go. I'm utterly numb. Guess where I was supposed to move to.

You don't realize how many things require the use of your hands, esp in the craft world, until you lose the ability to use them. I haven't been able to continue any of my old hobbies & I can't find any new hobbies that don't require manual dexterity. I'm so tired of having nothing to do but watch tv

So I hadn't heard anything about the car in a hot minute so asked SO what was up. He's ordered the parts & whenever they get here next week he's driving up to fix it himself. Apparently I wasn't considered (again) in all of this. That's min 3 days solo, taking care of 7cats & having no car. Great.

Stoned & flaring thoughts: You know the saying 'of all the things I've lost, I miss my mind the most' I think I actually understand it. I miss me. Before I got sick, before I lost everyone, my marriage went south, my stress lvls went up, everything, I liked me. I was a fun person. <Rambling 🧵>

I can't. I'm in tears daily trying to figure out how to keep 1 kid safe 3k miles away, keep 2nd kid in school & apt 6hrs away, plus somehow find a job making at least $20/hr in the next 3wks so I don't lose my house. And these fuckers are just lighting money on fire. I know life isn't fair, but fuck

This is what shit like "soft nos" cause. No is no. I'm pissed that our therapist taught SO that one. Are we really teaching ppl that no might not actually mean no if theres anything that comes after? It's not a fucking soft no, it's a rape no. She said no, don't come over.That's not a fucking invite

Where have all the good men gone And where are all the gods? Where's the streetwise Hercules To fight the rising odds? Isn't there a white knight upon a fiery steed?

Last month we moved the Littlest Monster to NC for school; she's going to become a sonographer/CNA. I took a loan for this yrs tuition. My job pays her living expenses & rent (no dorms). Plus the loan payments are already due. It's about $2600/mo total. W/o a job I can't afford it. 1/2

We're back to the silent treatment. The difference this time is I'm utterly broken. I just can't find it in myself to do, well, anything. We have therapy on Monday, a waste of time & money but I'll go. Nothing is going to ever change. Existing in this room is my life now. That's all she wrote. 🤷‍♀️

I have cried so many ugly tears to this song. So many. In fact, right now.

I give up.

I really wish I didn't have work ethic hammered into me from a young age. (Started working at 13.) Knowing you only have 3wks left thru no fault of your own sucks & I'd love to just fuck off for 3wks cause what are they going to do? Fire me? I can't because I take too much pride in everything I do.

The sheer number of mechanics who have been, 'nah, we don't want to deal with that' is breaking my brain. Wtf? We've been on the phone for over 5 hours and still haven't found anyone.

Anyone have any personal recommendations for mechanics in the Raleigh area? Please don't suggest I Google.

Timeline cleanse. Sound up. My oasis back deck. Funny thing is, I'm in the middle of suburbia. I'm in a HOA & can't do anything to our yard. EXCEPT they can't see our backyard at all, and especially not the deck, without doing some serious trespassing. So we've focused on the back.

I can't wait for the day I never have to see a pic of that man's hand again. Y'all. He's old. They're covering up bruising w/horribly matched foundation. The pics talking about his hideous hand are all bad makeup jobs. That's it. Why do we get daily hand updates? FFS you can't find ANYTHING else?

I need a bingo card for all the diseases this year. West Nile, Legionaires, TB, measles, ecoli, listeria, infant botulism, salmonella, ebola, covid, dengue, diphtheria, malaria... all from 2026 & I'm probably missing some. The amount of food recalls right now is mind blowing. Every day a new one.

Good news/Bad news Good: A magickal being appeared in my PayPal overnight. Now I can fix the car. I don't know if they're comfortable being named so they're my kid's rainbow guardian. Bad: Stress causes an autoimmune disorder to flare. It makes 6 disorders go batshit crazy. I'm beyond sick right now

My daughter's car got broken into. Smashed the back window, destroyed the steering column. I can't y'all. I didn't even get ONE day. I'm three "I can't handle one more thing" in. I literally can't catch my breath. I can't afford another fucking car. JFC. Wtf did I do to deserve being tortured?

Honestly rate yourself Looks: 4/10 Creativity: 8/10 Humor: 8/10 Mental Health: 3/10 Empathy: 10/10 usually. Lately not so much Parience: 6/10 Social Skills: 9/10 Memory: huh?

TY all for today. I needed that break from reality, desperately. It was nice getting thru the day only crying happy tears. (Im a crier, I cry when I'm angry too) Work day is over & I need to head back into reality. Don't wanna. It hurts so much. I'm petrified to be honest. Ty for giving me the day.

You wouldn't wave a raw steak in front of a shark! Excuse 472 on why men rape. That men aren't in an uproar having their self control be compared to a shark tells you all you need to know. If ALL men don't want to be lumped together, do the work. Take responsibility. We're done w/excuses. Fix it.

To thank you all for being there for me. Here is some #JoyScrolling of our back deck #garden. It has my rose bushes, strawberry plants, blueberries, tomatoes, cucumbers, & butternut squash. I also have 2 hummingbird feeders and bird bath. Happy #puttering! #BloomScrolling 🪶

All I'll say about Platner: I believe this is the 3rd woman to come forward. 2 were prior to the primary. As was the tattoo, the racism, the r-word, & victim blaming women who were raped. So fuck right off w/pearl clutching about how you didn't know. You knew. You didn't care until ppl were watching

Remember I said, had just 1person reached out? Thank you to @hillarymonahan.bsky.social @peculiarityshop.bsky.social & #QueerVC crew for being just that. I've cried for 2days; it's been a long time since I've had kindness. I'm not ok. Not close. I'm desperate for a job. But I needed to say thank you

My contract isn't being extended. They're replacing everything w/Ai. Sup is fighting for me & has mtg Thurs over it. I have 0 hope. It's the same 'we hate remote' bs they did last time. I have 30days to find a job or we lose everything. I'm paying 2 mortgages & I'm not kicking my kid out of school.

Remember, this has nothing to do with Trans kids. The pedophile regime is just making it easier for men to look in little girl's underwear. Notice it's only girls they want to check, not the boys. Coaches & doctors kept getting arrested so now they can perv on our kids legally.

Support am amazing artist! Look at my little guy! Isn't he freaking adorable? @verdantsculpts.bsky.social has a Patreon too where you get sneak peeks and pre-orders.

Etsy find. Turns out the artist is from a town 20 minutes up the road. Even more amazing is usps didn't lose it or send it on a country wide tour. Artist is Elaine Coyne. And yes, I'm totally in love with it.

I've been trying so hard to regain some sense of normalcy to my life. Unfortunately I think I'm so desperate for a community, a place to belong & ppl who care, that I've held out way too long. At 50 I should know better. Everything is worse so I'm taking the hint. Btwn now & the 1st going to gather

When the governor of CA is the reason the state is now on my list of (almost all) red states to avoid at all costs. Congrats Newsome. You're officially Junior Trump. It's ok, you still have your billionaires.

About to have to go run 1/5 errands that was supposed to be done yesterday. It's currently 97° w/real feel of 100 & 53% humidity. Cant afford to waste $ on Uber so will have to drive myself. Can't wait to see how many times the heat of the car makes me vomit. Ppl love when I puke in the parking lot.

If you're a D who feels the need to clarify you're "moderate" or "centrist" then pls stop pretending & call yourself a R. You're fighting for capitalism & the corps. You're not fighting for the ppl who voted for you & humanity in general so its time to call a spade a spade. Stop asking for our $ too

Anyone have recs for nails that are peeling? I'm sure it's due to malabsorption, but I'm doing all I can there. Tried clear polish & it just peels off. Can't use anything with any sort of chili powder in it. They're just in horrible shape & peeling leads to bleeding.

Yeah. I'm over it already and my head is killing me. Can't wait to see how toasty this room is by this afternoon.

My life is so beyond farce at this point that I found myself in hysterical laughter by 8am. Not sure what comes after hysteria, but bet I find out soon enough. This is life w/no support, there's no guardrails & I'm already going over the cliff. Did the crying, did the laughter, only way left is down

Just one day. One day would have been nice. Night, Sky.

My ride just flaked meaning none of the errands I needed to get done today are happening. Also means I'm going to have to cough up the money to take Uber during the week to get this done during my lunch hour. It works out to be nearly $100 for every round trip I need to make. I need at least 4.

People who post spoilers are some of the shittiest people on the planet. Who gets off on ruining something for other people? Why are ppl like this? Oh, you've been looking forward to this moment for 3yrs? Let me spoil it all in 30secs because I'm a dick w/no real friends. Assholes. The lot of you.

So they DO understand what the word opposition means. Sadly they still can't figure out what party they're in. (Cause they're both the same.)

High of 93 today. Humidity is already at 70% & it's 11am. Going to be high 90s all week. I already can't get this room under 83 w/3 fans. Im going to be so sick, esp since I need to leave the house today & at least 2x this week. Been hospitalized for heatstroke twice & it's easier to get each time.

I can't watch another video of a man beating up, tossing around, or screaming in the face of a woman. Not another cop, ICE, Border Patrol, neighbor, coworker, boyfriend, or spouse. Get some fucking therapy, keep your hands to yourself, & use your inside voice. It's daily. Only ppl concerned? Women.