what's my crime having a crush? a succulent transsexual crush??

Gen alpha is gonna be super nostalgic for Pentatonix and we're gonna get hyper-acapella out of it

Sure Minneapolis has a worse mayor but at least we have more MOM DOMMYS per capita

Need to hook up with more women so my cat can get more socialization

I just gotta get through the next three months until the big face peel

Don't mimed me

Women only like me because I'm hot, funny, nice, and annoying in an endearing way but what about the REAL me

trans women invented incest kink because they miss getting called bro

thank you for completing the personality quiz your email has been sold

your personality type indicates that you feel that society and culture are largely hollow and meaningless so you grasp at a sense of meaning through major political or spiritual beliefs, through finding joy in the ironic brokenness, or through fixating on personal cultivation and community

your personality type indicates that when you think back on it there was a fundamental light inside of you when you were a child and at some point it started to fade. now in adulthood you struggle to remember when it went out completely

your personality type indicates that deep down you feel there is something broken about you and you either use extreme extroversion or social withdrawal to manage and hide this

what is her deal why is she looking at me like that

Don quixote in the pit taking down anyone who windmills

Developed a kink for brain surgery you could say I'm feeling lobottomy

Reading up on gnosticism to make my next manic episode more fun

I hope I do enough good in this world to be reincarnated as a sewer raccoon

There's gotta be a way we can get mainstream Christians and queer people lined up against Mormons and I think the trick has something to do with throuples and trinitarianism

Conservatives still rely on the blue hair pronouns coffee shop worker stereotype because they keep hearing about barista torturing people and think it plays well in Cuba

Any bathroom is a womens bathroom if you wash your hands

yaoi gagarin

East of Eden is queer literature (tboy)

Horny MILFs in journalism have ruined us.

Yahoo was one of the early search engines because people were so excited about being on the Internet they couldn't contain themselves, you don't really feel that nowadays do you

why the FUCK did I download hinge again

They keep locking my finger up in smaller and smaller cages 😵‍💫😵‍💫

Performative male reading ya books on the subway

My week might've been shit but at least there were a bunch of straight people at the gay bar I could be rude to without feeling bad

Surgery was rough but at least I won't have those clocky knuckles anymore

ur a jr partner of the polycule right now but with enough effort you'll make it up to full partner in no time

chicago keeps their omelas child in the bean

When choosing pronouns, one should be considerate and consider it.

Anarchist millennials talking about how much they hate the sound of the word maoist

I gotta stop forgetting sunscreen 🥴

Parents are just a really big case of Stockholm syndrome when you think about it

BIG FAG is back in town

Doing the "let's compare hands" bit with a girl and accidentally making her cry

Not into dog or cat girls because they're both a kind of chaser (tail, laser pointer)

Mrs Robinson you're trying to rizz me!

You're sending me to the goo-log??? But I already have one!

-1 charisma when I say fag because I'm from Minnesota

When the discourse starts

Do NOT cross the dick sucking picket line the factory needs to improve conditions NOW

What the fuck is a dark brown voice

The echoes of your mother calling your name are a recession indicator, the faint scratches on the door from the dog long since put down are a recession indicator, realizing you no longer remember the phone number of your childhood best friend is a recession indicator

Biological advantage in being bad at sports

A friend of mine saw a sign that said no parking and thought it said no barking, the dolls are tiiired

When will we be brave enough for a sitcom with non simulated sex

Catholic rosaries were just fidget toys that got out of hand