John Goodman in Raising Arizona

Sniffies in Burbank is active

posting my dick / mute you if you need

watching the greatest story ever told by a Mexican man since I started tweeting in 2013

grown as hell with a job and rent. I’m not calling it “my pp”, that’s my entire dick balls and ass

changed me

got a breakfast burrito in the #airfryer, a finger in my #butt, and put on the rocky horror picture show in my #mexican living room #youremad

weekends are for being #mexican

alright being a dad is over for the night. I need to throw neck now

we won btw

the dad running around the field yelling at their kid has clocked into work

days like this are when I miss being an academic the most

oomf sent me a photo of the huge dick he milked just now

tennis yesterday

when oomfs are flirting in the comments

lost 4 straight rounds of Fortnite

this auto caption took me the fuck out

rt if u agree

didn’t realize the voice actor was hot, maybe I was too quick to judge

was forced to watch the tiny chef show at work today

not the my bf fries

I’m having a ball in this bitch

omw to trader joe’s for their michelin star orange chicken

more or less, a visualization

took a very #uncut nap just now

one like and I’ll spread my monkey on here

it’s #MexicanMonday btw

had a dream about a fourway that went completely wrong that then resulted in oomf driving off and crashing his jeep into multiple cars and injuring my old roommate gravely

MEXICOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO 300000000000000000000

Why do we fall? So we can learn to pick ourselves up. Batman Begin

seated for

grad school did nothing but worsen my disdain for chicanx studies diehards

being 5’4 and building the Rolife Sakura Wine Alley set >>>>>>>>

if you are a gay person i'm gonna need you to drop whatever it is you're doing rn and pick up a toothbrush. many of you have gums so red they voted against your interests!!

good afternoon fellow employed people

made chiles rellenos yesterday btw

who has post gym pits

I love fat femmes and their totally normal glasses frames *serious voice*

the “sunday scaries” are a lie you’ve told yourself to not crack open that cold ass beer in your fridge

first time I wanted to be a woman was when Trinity flew through the window in the opening sequence of The Matrix and drew her guns upon landing

two hot dogs, a big ass drink, & a theater to myself.

Coke Zero taste like refried beans washed with soupy caramel I’m never trusting you fatties again

daddiesncountryguys you will not be seeing heaven

:)

pool day

that one guy from Chicago with the huge dick