I never thought the day would ever come. But if you asked, my love, the answer would be yes, yes, yes. A million times, yes.

This is truly the worst government in the developed world. It's so heartbreaking to see America in this state. I can't believe I'm seeing fascism in my lifetime.

Why is twitter down? 🥲

I don’t know. My younger sister the other day told me, life just got real for her recently. Because lately, she’s in a relationship and her and her partner are planning to buy house. They are thinking if they want to settle down and have kids. Yeah, these are all very real decisions.

I think I realised that I cared about them alot a while ago. I tried not to notice it but I knew a while back.

My sister keeps saying people make do and I’m just like fuck that.

Someone I know paid their taxes and apparently it is alot because they have high incomes and so they said, taxation is theft. Oh, that made me so mad.

Will keep trying didn't really want to take on another social media. I need to be off my phone sometimes

My profile pic here really matches my mood because yeah, I’m scowling at the world too.

I have a younger sibling who is all about, hey, go with the flow. Don’t think. Don’t stress. Although, I’m not much of a detailed plan person, I do believe in filling up what’s important because life is busy.

Yeah no thanks.

I saw this coming but it still breaks my heart. No one talks about the grief on all of this. The weight it holds is so heavy.

Good for them

HMMMMMMM

Oh, the children will not be okay

Someone told me that they heard someone say, I want my son to tell me that he is proud to be my son. And I find that so odd.

My mum just gave me that shitty advice of don’t think then you won’t be anxious. Like stfu and gtfo. If it were that simple, no one would be anxious. Stfu

I don’t know. I get the feeling that my sister and her boyfriend are being young and stupid. But it’s their life.

The realisation that childhood trauma does affect you in ways you don’t even know and understand. But I know better now

I wish I was given unconditional love and support.

It’s tough. I don’t hate my mom and I know she tried her best. But because she didn’t care for my emotions as a child and said things to me as a child that I carried for years, I lack patience and kindness with her. I don’t like this part of myself either.

Sometimes I wonder if my parents dislike my decisions in life because I am living life how I like instead of listening to the societal pressures.

I admit, with my mom, I lose my temper alot more. I do not have much kindness for her. She isn’t a bad mom. She tried. But as a child, she wasn’t there for my emotional needs so now as an adult, I realised, I’m also not interested in caring for her emotions.

I know yesterday was mother’s day and this was probably selfish of me but I told my mom that I was actually tired. Not from work or the fatigue of life. But from responsibilities.

I have a best friend now and damn, it’s just more magical than my previous relationship.

I made so many excuses for my ex simply because I wanted to experience what a relationship is like.

I woke up this morning and I realised from the beginning that my ex wasn’t good for me and I ignored it. And looking back, I have only regrets. But I wouldn’t have known until I walk the path.

My sister been dating this guy for less than a year and it was his birthday the other day. And my sister was gushing about how she cares so much about him. Sorry. Idk if this is my old age talking but seriously tho, you barely know him.

Sighs. The people are not alright but they also aren’t paying attention.

Oops sorry. I don’t trust anyone blatantly. You want my trust? Earn it. Prove yourself worthy.

Sometimes I think my parents are upset with me because I live my life a little differently. I’m strict with myself and my finances. It’s not something that they did. But then again, they had to raise kids. But honestly I don’t think they even tried.

To me, money is important. I haven’t had a problem that I could not solve with money. So yes, money is important.

I just found out that my mom unmasks when she is in her office and I sighed. Because wtf. Fortunately, she kinda has a room. But there still one more colleague there and I’m just so pissed and tired. I kinda wanna scream.

The truth is I know if the pandemic happened when I was a kid, my parents would have sent me to school anyway once the govt said it was okay.

But I think I have grown up. I’m bigger than the things I was nurtured in.

And it’s funnier that my parents told me about unconditional love. That love should be unconditional and I tried to emulate that. Only to grow up and find out that even my parents don’t love me unconditional. They have their conditions.

When I think about it, the reason why my previous relationship failed is because I didn’t like my ex. But I was trying to love unconditionally. It’s a tad hilarious.

People : you seem to be at peace. Me : I worked hard to earn this damn peace.

Sometimes I do not understand. Do they not feel the weight of the world? Do they not resent when they see others fly while we are only condemn to walk or we have to do our best to try to fly with that weight?

I know my parents think financials do not matter but I think they are very much wrong. And I won’t listen to their thinking anymore because I just do not relate to it

I’m also beginning to realise that some parts of my childhood is a trauma response. And that made my behavior early on and the adults in my life did not help.

I wish I could be delusional but I can’t. I see it all too clearly.

I’m beginning to realise that I’m actually maybe I’m not okay. But I do not blame myself. The state of the world sucks and so I try.

Not Enough Time To Read All That Research About Covid And Long Covid? Don’t Worry, We Haven’t Read Any Research That Worries Us.

Has The Science Changed? No. Nothing Has Changed. Everything’s Still Either Mild, Mysterious, Or Both.

she’s a ten and she’s me

So I’m getting aircon installed today. Good thing is, the people installing it are masked. Bad thing is my house is a mess currently. Lol.

Why Do All These People Who Have Caught Covid Now Always Have A Cough? Must Be The Lockdowns. Yeah, Lockdowns.