I swear to the divine. Tonight makes 3 trips to the ER in a little over a month and I'm so fluffing done. Just done. I'm so tired.

Oh my fucking gods I shouldn't watch baseball my heart can't take this level of stress right now.

Two trips to the ER in one month and going to the ER on Halloween was an experience ._. It's not been a good month and the 25k medical bill is looming over me like a brick to the face.

Second thing. The next week it's gonna be sunny and cold at night. You hear that sound. That's the sound of the tripod about to come out and my phone warming up its camera for winter night sky photography. Though I am looking for a new camera.

It's been 16 days since I went to the ER for my heart. In that time my blood pressure has come down almost back to normal. I've lost 10 pounds, and I've got my sugar under control. Positive thoughts.

So, spending the afternoon/evening in the ER was NOT how I expected my Friday to turn out but when you have a PR of 122 resting and it feels like your heart is trying to jump out of your chest, you get a neat ride in the back of an ambulance.

Icarus is a fascinating game. it bugs constantly, it lags in spots, the fps can be a bitch and a half sometimes, but gods be damned if it isn't one of my favorite games to play, and this, this mountain retreat, built by the bf, damn it all if it isn't my favorite place so far

I'm spiraling so badly right now. my anxiety is at a 30 out of 10 and I already have problems with it at night and sleeping doesn't come easy, and now this, I'm seriously reaching my breaking point.

HAHAHA so much fun listening to people call me a "leech" and "bottom feeder" for being disabled! HAHA ya'll its so much fun getting told I should stop existing violently because I can't work and need help! WOO No sir! No severe anxiety here eating my insides making feel like screaming!

I knew the forecast called for storms today, didn't think I'd be lucky enough to be under a cell as it was beginning to form. The roiling alone was incredible, but the color play here is just spectacular. This btw was the view 20 years ago that cured me of my phobia of storms :3

I don't understand how anyone, especially other rescues could be this vile....like I get people suck...but to bully someone like her to take her own life just, all she wanted to do was make the world better...

I've seen a lot of posts from MAGAts on other sites this morning saying the same thing... "Oh boo hoo sob sob we're so sorry, he was supposed to be for peace" Fuck off. They can fuck all the way off to Voyager-1 and back. He told you what kind of person he was. It was cruelty. Full stop. Fuck em.

From there, another set coming in 2026: Secrets of Strixhaven! 🤫 We're still too early for more than an announcement, class is not back in session... yet.

I really don't like spring and summer. Allow me to explain. I have SEVERE spheksophobia. I don't fear bees. I can deal with honey bees. I have a debilitating fear of wasps from when I was little. That's the day problem. The night problem is mosquitoes. I can't go out without being covered in bites.

I am ABSOLUTELY convinced after spending an entire gods damned evening listening to one of our staunchly stupid, now former, friends talk about science in general, that most of these clowns, honest to Thoth himself, have NO idea how the scientific method actually works.

Biggest thing I learned from storm chasing with my late brother, do not ever think you are safe just because the sun is out. I've seen it go from bright and sunny to all hell breaking loose in a matter of 10 minutes because we weren't paying attention. Pay attention today and stay aware.

So I've picked up the pen again as it were. More like keyboard, but I've started writing again regardless. Some people have asked where I get inspiration or what I do to focus. I like trains personally. So riding the rails in Train Sim World 4 is my go to. Put my music on and off I go.

It's been a bit since I posted anything. Currently going through some shit at the moment. I got a PET-CT scan tomorrow. So I got that to look forward to. It's just been one thing after another and my phone's camera has just decided to not work anymore. So I'm trying to find a good replacement.

I sit here tonight on my b-day, alone, in a constant state of anxiety wondering just how much worse is it gonna get, on a multitude of issues, and I look up at the stars and wonder if I'm gonna even see my next birthday. Happy Valentines day I guess.

As a wise redditor said earlier today, "Bricks out for Trans rights this Pride!" THERE IS NO LGB WITHOUT THE T! That cannot be said loud enough and long enough, we either stand together or we die together, and for anyone saying "WeLl THaT's jUsT FEarMoNGeRinG!!1!" EXAMPLE FUCKING A!

I stand with the trans community. Pass it along.

Hahaaaa ahhh shit. Well. That's the, I guess, Golden lining on this horrid day.

Im honestly nearing the end of my rope. I mean it, I'm reaching the end of what I'm capable of dealing with. I am disabled, I CANNOT work, not that I don't want to, not that I'm lazy, I. CAN'T. If he cuts SSI, I'm quite literally dead within a month. I just can't deal with this shit right now.

PLEASE SHARE 🧪‼️ Since CDC websites and datasets are being taken down by the Administration… The ENTIRE archive of ALL CDC datasets uploaded BEFORE January 28th, 2025 can be found here: archive.org/details/2025...

It's now been a week and a half past having this stupid chunk taken out of me. And I'm getting that same gods damned sinking feeling I got last time when I got the initial diagnosis.

"Solaris" people ask me, "How do you keep your cool when the world is going to shit?" Answer: A T680 with 500 hp, A cup of coffee, (both in game and irl) and the "RED" album, tay's version of course. Blasting on a 7.1 Surround sound system, and my cat purring in my lap.

Swear to Ra, waiting on biopsy results never gets easier. This is my sixth one in 5 years and every damn time my stress level hits the troposphere.

Pin this, save it, we’ll need it. “When a prison camp opens in your town…when a DREAMer is disappeared from your classroom…when the President destroys what’s left of the Constitution…They will all say they didn’t know this was coming. And I want the American people to know that they did.” AOC 🔥🎯

Well Ho-lee shit, its been a while, but after what feels like an eternity with nothing sticking we're finally FINALLY seeing snow. It's been a long 3 years. welcome back old friend

I've been on Facebook since 2008. That changed this morning, I finally worked up the will to finally cut that toxic part of my life out. At some point my mental health takes priority

I’m gonna get put on a government watch list for this one I just know it

A quick shot I got the other day before heading to the doctor. The ice blue of the sky contrasted really well with the bare bark of the trees. I love that color blue, it is my favorite color.

So...how y'all doing today? It's a little cold today but I got hot chocolate and a lovely view of the blue sky outside. I also saw a cardinal..he was a chonky red boi but darted off before I could get a pic of him.

I actually like the lighting on this one, I saw a little bit of cloud cover and jet trails and normally when I try to get Lua it's always distorted or Blurry cause of the exposure, but the tree worked really well here and the colors and fanning of the cloud just...I'm really happy with this.

The Full Wolf Moon in all its glory. I...don't feel like its a great shot, but that's just me in my bad headspace right now, But it's my new desktop so I got something out of the evening with a cup of hot chocolate and my camera.

I love snow...I adore the view of the snow falling quietly when the world becomes muffled and that magical silence falls with the drifting of the snowflakes..I love it so much. we didn't get fuck all for snow today. Instead we got freezing rain. we're at...probably .06in right now. I have PTSD. 1/2

So I got my Protogen a new SSD for Christmas. I was so excited to help him upgrade his rig. Turns out. Due to a pinning mismatch the drive will never be able to work. Needless to say I feel like a colossal dipshit.

So I've kept my facebook for years because I still interacted with some of my old classmates who refuse to use anything else and my folks who aren't exactly tech savvy and don't want to learn something new. I told them they're gonna have to learn this because I'm deleting that shit-hole tomorrow.

not only did I get the flu I got bronchitis after. So much fun, seriously though this flu going around is no joke, its been a while since I've seen a strain this bad. But I'm alive and I'm half back.

So my hot take for the day: You know how we all have that one person that we're down bad for that's like "no, really I can fix them, trust me!" Yeah Sunday from HSR is mine... I make no apologies. I said what I said.

It's 2:22AM EST writing this, It feels like 5:30 was 2 years ago. I've been through 3 cups of coffee and have been living on adrenaline. I had to call EMS for my father this evening. Turns out he has a severe, like...super severe case, of influenza. so..yeah...happy solstice

One pack, two pulls. I needed this today.

So, I probably wont post as much for a couple days. Between a really bad bout of cluster migraines, and my cancer going from what for the past 3 years, was stable, now looking like it could be becoming malignant, the treatment costing me 9k, and my christmas plans to see my bf falling through 1/2

NEW FREAKING OKAMI GAME LETS FREAKING GOOOOOO!!!!!

My throat is finally starting to let up and I'm able to swallow again. Do not take that out of context...anyway for the first time in days it was actually clear enough to get some shots of the night sky tonight so I got a really good shot of Pegasus bathed in the moon's light.

So I got this shot back in September. At the time I was excited about it but didn't really have a place to post it. It looked like someone cut the sky and let the sunshine spill through after a storm. Anyway, I'm still sick, and it's raining. So no new sky shots for now.

so...its been a few days...strep throat really sucks. doesn't help that I'm going through a migraine on top of it so THAT's fun. ugh, I've turned into a bunny burrito and have been binge watching Mythbusters on my fire stick.

I'm seriously considering streaming again, It's been a while since I went live, last time I did it was with my old WoW guild and it was an unmitigated disaster and put me off doing anything for a while, not the game mind you...If drama was a power source my old guild could power the Earth for a year