Dope.

I dont get it. I could be in a bubble. Doesn't everyone hate this guy?

Guys who say "BEV" and "PHEV" are speaking to me specifically.

Quote 5 jobs you've had: 1. Dog Groomer 2. Airport Ramp Agent 3. Plane Fueler 4. Public Relations 5. Sandwich Artist

Oh hot damn. This is my jam

Pretty sure Marsh's OAA is exactly 0

Craig of the Creek and Gravity Falls are God-Tier shows. Should I have watched Adventure Time? Uncle Grandpa?

Afraid of immigrants? Don't worry - the dumbest people from your high school are on the case.

Guess I need to stop until I buy paint. (fucking bullshit)

In my next life, this is what I will do with my time

Finally, someone has the balls to say it! And by "someone," I mean Jeffries. And by "finally," I mean 'when politically convenient.'

Feed slop!

Bet Schumer chokes.

(not enough. Don't take your foot off the gas)

Dunununa dun dun dunananana

A Pittsburgh chair?

"Well, it was *technically* correct from a certain perspective."

Axios characterizes Bovino's comments as "misstatements" while linking to an article that calls them "outright lies"

Guys, we *may* have misjudged everyone at 4-Chan.

You dont understand. "Lowest common denominator" is Schumers bread and butter.

It's great, but it's no Take This to Your Grave (2003) From Under the Cork Tree (2005) Infinity on High (2007) Folie à Deux (2008) Save Rock and Roll (2013)

Man. You guys remember Pretty Ricky? Things were simpler.

Shoveled. In by the fire.

Did want to watch the news anymore. Moving along!

I...don't remember this at all.

Ryan Murphy's vibe is atrocious. Man's creative output is absolutely dripping with edge. Unbearable.

Im sorry is she fucking insane

Omfg. We're talking about body cameras.

Pretty grave that we must say "National Guard will be wearing yellow vests."

Pretti clearly did not brandish his gun. Which means the government is saying he was killed for legally exercising his right to carry. It’s as clear-cut a violation of the Second Amendment as I can possibly imagine. And we’re about to see the bulk of the gun rights crowd defend his murder.

This is my blood

EVERY SINGLE THING ANY CONSERVATIVE EVER SAID THEY VALUED WAS A FUCKING LIE IN SERVICE TO PROTECTING THEIR SELF IMAGE AND SOCIAL ACCEPTABILITY FROM THE ABSOLUTE FACT THAT IT IS ALL ABOUT BEING RACIST GARBAGE HUMANS

Agree.

They approach him. They shove his friend and then mace him when he tries to help them up. Hold him down and shoot him 7 times? Do I have that right?

We have been told for nearly 30 years that America needed to tolerate mass shootings because the broad availability of guns would help us defend ourselves from an overreaching federal government. That day has come. The people who said this are supporting the federal agents. Many have joined them.

When the Right discusses firearm ownership as a defense against tyranny, they are envisioning a COVID vaccine card, not a liberal dead at the hands of the state

From here on, I will give no deference to a "difference of opinion," as it has become crystal clear that no one on the right *believes* anything at all.

I guess prepare yourself for whatever horrible shit he's going to say about it

Yall...

if you live in maryland please be aware: ICE has access to md's drivers licensing system. they are using our licenses to find matches in their facial recognition systems and pulling our addresses. please share, it's urgent

Feeling better about the snout

Fun times at the Heeler house.

It me.

Sorry, yall. Coldplay was good, too. I'm sorry you saw 40 Year Old Virgin and made hating Coldplay your thing.

Mike will ABSOLUTELY sign Gallen and it's all my fault for joking about it.

Fuck it. Trade for Skubal then sign him immediately. It's exactly as likely as getting Valdez.

Elias isn’t going to do jack squat.

Hahaha MIKE WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING