I just guessed my homegirl’s fever temp via FaceTime 🥴🤣 this is when she bans me from medical diagnoses. I’m scarily accurate no formal training

Still trying to understand how a this man mistook me scanning the room looking for candid moments of people having fun and accidentally making eye contact 😐 BECAUSE IM WORKING 🙃 for me showing interest in him specifically across the room…..

SUMMER IS OURS LADIES

Been about a year since I diagnosed my homegirl with this and she’s still mad at me 🤣 her doc was like “…🤔 I think she’s correct actually” and put her on meds. I have been banned from making medical observations ever since lmfao

I’ve legit gotten 12 spam calls in the last 4hrs 😑 what in the entire fuck is going on

Since when did the Bible thumpers upgrade from door to door harassment to cold calling spammers?? 😭 THIS MAKES ME MORE ATHEISTIC BTW

The spam callers must be back in office 🫩 I’ve gotten 5 calls today already

Young white man in a button down sweater vest combo approaches me in the parking lot: Excuse me 😃 would you like to come to church on Sunday?? Me: *shakes head violently* ATHEIST!!!! 🗣️

……… this is so overly freaked out 😅

NOBODY WAS GOING TO TELL ME THAT I CAN FINALLY UPLOAD MY OWN GIFS ON HERE???!

It hasn’t even been a full month since Private Equity sunk it claws into Nothing Bundt Cakes and they’ve already jacked up the prices..

Not the Old Black man behind the deli counter laughing in my face when I said “Thank you kindly” to him 🥹 IM SORRY IM FROM THE SOUTH SIR

When both your out-of-state homegirls are crashing out at the same time and you’re trying to keep them from jumping into full mania via FaceTime

Idk what worse: a sore throat, having a stuffy runny congested nose, or a cough.

Anybody else get full body chills when forced to drink ginger tea?

Seriously y'all need to sit on that couch... this is not okay

first in my bloodline to see those words put together like that

Blue Magic??…as in…the HAIR GREASE???!!!!!!!🧐🥴🙃

There’s no way that was comfortable for any holes involved 🥴

Lube?!?!?!? I just used that in my hair, but ya out here putting it in ya holes….

What a day to wish I was illiterate

"3 days? Y'all couldn't wait 3 days till I ascended into Heaven?"

Jesus ain't been resurrected 24 good hours yet and this is the kind of conduct...

I'm sorry, has lube become expensive? What is going awn?!

Hey stop sharing stuff

Somebody QUICKLY explain to me whyyyyyyyyyy someone would ever use BLUE MAGIC as lube???????????????????

I REGRET NOTHING 🥰🤣 and it fits perfectly

Adult money is buying stupid cute shit just to have a place for your glasses at your desk 🤣 In my defense I constantly have to swap between my “work glasses” and my “everyday glasses”

I wish I could barter my talents in exchange for tattoos or a piercing 😩 like help me help youuuuuu

We(most countries) wouldn’t be nearly as panicked and on the cusp of collapse with the oil shortages if Climate change and Sustainability initiatives were taken seriously decades ago... Complacency and Capitalism breeds destruction.

I’ve been stuck in bed since Sunday 😐😭 I’m tired of being horizontal. I just need my skull to not feel like a water balloon every time I try to be vertical

I just spent the last month reading my first ao3 novel only to get to the end and realize the story is incomplete and the author hasn’t posted a new chapter since almost exactly 1 year ago……. I thought I had chosen a completed story

Adult money is realizing I can repurpose cutesy shit for my photography gear because why did I just order a Kuromi drawstring bag just to store my camera in 🤣 another example: designed and ordered custom stickers for my pelican case

I’m convinced there is an anime watcher to photographer/videographer pipeline… I have no proof I just know it’s there

Was at an event yesterday chopping it up with 5 other photographers/videographers and every single one of us watches anime 🤔 somebody do the math I need the causation/corolation immediately

Needless to say he decided to give me a months supply of gabapentin because “it’ll help with any lingering pain and headaches. Also as the added benefit of helping with anxiety 😁” Me:

The doctor 5min before the procedure: you look so calm. This is going to be an easy procedure no anxiety meds needed 😁 Me highly masking and trying to appear normal: Um no.. I’m just hiding it really well *10min later hyperventilating and shaking through the end of the procedure*

I just find it funny how twice I asked for anxiety meds before my lumbar puncture because I had a panic attack last time they tried, and everyone dismissed me 🤪 guess who had a full meltdown on the xray table because she in fact had a panic attack from the pain and overstimulation

Opening MyChart to see a $8500 bill does the opposite of “reduce stress”. You know else would reduce my stress 100%? 🤪 Unsubscribing from this hellhole

A government who does not evolve and change with its people through time is doomed to fail. Everything has a lifespan that requires maintenance and innovation.

Being the equivalent to a feral cat my entire life, imagine my surprise when I discover 48hrs ago that being call “babygirl” does something to me. Stop tryna make this thug blush

Not my virtual baby daddy done let our son turn hotep 😐🤣 MIND YOU our child’s name is Benimaru

WHAT IN THE EXTRATERRESTRIAL ANGEL DUST IS GOING ON HERE

I need someone explain it to me like I am 5 why is Frontier asking for FIFTY-NINE AMERIKKKAN DOLLHAIRS for a gotdamn carryon bag one way

I’m sorry 😀 we just killed WHOOOMMMMMMM???!

Hypothetically speaking what is stopping me from walking out this ER 😐 been waiting for a DR to look at my test results for 3hrs now

Who needs self-hatred when you have friends with zero filter 🤣😭☠️ CAN A BITCH BE THOROUGH WITH HER DESIGNS IN PEACE?!

From concept to mockup to real life. IM OBSESSED. I’ve always wanted to customize the labels on my photography case but never actually sat down to make the stickers until now 😭🔥