#handsoff NYC 💙 🇨🇦

I think it's important that people examine their fears. If you think people are giddy or glad when someone being harmful is exposed, it might be your assumption. They may have spoken out before out of concern and been attacked for it and dismissed.

If we find ourselves with the tendency to give the benefit of the doubt to the person with a lot more power and influence when abusive behavior is the topic and we are seeing "both sides," we have not fully deconstructed hierarchy from our evangelical past.

📢 SAVE THE DATE: Saturday, April 5. Together with progressive partners, we’re planning a massive mobilization in the streets to translate the anger with Trump’s power grab into a nationwide show of defiance. Find a Hands Off! event near you or plan one: handsoff2025.com?SQF_SOURCE=i...

You know what leaders in a community could do if they were caught in a scandal to show they were sincere and not simply about saving face to their audience? (I mean apart from reaching out faster to their victims than their platforms!)...

If you have to support someone after they have been abusive because otherwise "the bad guys will win," that's the cult thinking. If you're in a group & it's the norm around you to defend a leader even as they apologize instead of letting them get to the work of fixing things, that's cult thinking.

It's one thing to leave evangelicalism and talk a lot about abuse and accountability. But we need to be willing to do that within our own deconstruction community first. G.R.A.C.E report just released about The New Evangelicals www.tnereckoning.com/s/TNE-Final-...

@NateNakao.com and I were listening to this podcast episode on how social media PR campaigns target female celebrities. How men with money pay to have women smeared when they might talk about how those men have abused them.

It makes me queasy to know how much humanity and empathy my former belief system was trying to suck out of me!!!

A lot of us have considered it and have issues with being on an app where the rules are changing to allow gay people to be spoken of as "mentally ill" in the name of free speech. I think keeping community is important, but

This gives me evangelical church vibes. Where the problems with the church is blamed by guys like Mark Driscoll on church being too feminine even though men are all the ones in charge, teaching, preaching and running the show!

And we are in therapy now. Working on not believing we are evil at our core. Fearful that every mistake is proof we are bad to the bone. Or working on being allowed to take up space and *have needs* because we were told that the only thing we "deserved" was "the flames of hellfire." 1/

If you are loved for who you are by your parents, you are blessed. In high control religious groups, everything about you can be overshadowed by one thing. One wrong belief and who you are is reduced to that. Nothing else matters. 1/

The 'facts not feelings' people are often the most emotionally driven while ironically having no guage on their feelings at all. No self-awareness on what drives them. It's why they are able to step over others with ease and without seeing it. Church systems often teach this disembodiment... 1/

Someone I know said it was a "French culture issue." It's easier than possibly thinking it might be too many of the men all around us, as well. That we are not safe either. But the USA literally elected a rapist, so the problem with men isn't a problem with just the French.

It's January 6th. Remembering the people who died in the insurrection and the people who all got away with it. The largest mass assault on police officers in USA history, the people responsible are called "patriots" and "hostages" by the "back the blue" crowd 1/

Thankful to have conversations about how the holidays can be hard when you are deconstructing and going through faith shifts. Glad you were willing to come on and share both thoughts and coping strategies @muzach.bsky.social and @goforthboldly.bsky.social (better than thoughts and prayers! 🤣)

The hatred of women in society is staggering. Abuse rarely happens in a vacuum. He recruited 50 other men who didn't go to the police but participated. These men had people who defended them because their family/friends/partners didn't want to believe this could be true of the men in their lives.

When are Christians going to realize that "let the children come to me" isn't supposed to happen through gun violence?

Awful.

I'm not sure when simple kindness and empathy to people with a different life experience to yours became "woke nonsense". But I did make a chart yesterday to help explain when and what evangelicals & Christian nationalists are allowed to care about.

Evangelicalism & Empathy is a tricky-thing! So I made a helpful chart to figure out when you are supposed to care and when it's sinful to care.

But also, empathy is not for those denied coverage. Empathy is only needed for the ultra wealthy and powerful.

Asked on fb "How have u been punished for speaking up? What has your autonomy & your own voice costed u?" In 1 hr, 7 replies: lost family, friends, jobs for standing up for trans friends, standing against homophobia, speaking up against child predators. Guess how many were shunned by Christians?

The God of evangelicalism is an abusive husband. Also, he loves you so much, but you are nothing without him, and if you don't see things the same ways as he does, he will torture you in hell for eternity.

Now Mark Driscoll claims "Wicked" is creating gender confusion by causing women to have "sexual desires that are outside of the normal male/female relationships" due to Glinda and Elphaba having “emotional, spiritual intimacy and connection between the females." 2/2

Ok, so people like Mark Driscoll would say I'm pretending to be a woman, right? But he has made an entire career around teaching men to be men because it apparently doesn't just happen. But if men have to change who they are to be a man, wouldn't they be pretending to be a man?

By Lainey Molnar

When evangelicals say things like "this goes against a Biblical worldview" and "this is post modern" and "the world teaches you can't know any objective truth" what they are saying is: they do not want you to use or learn critical thinking skills. 1/

H/t: Feminist News on fb

Any religion that emphasizes "surrender" as the ultimate way to gain power will create the ideal breeding ground for the absolute worst kinds of abuse. While surrendering specific harmful relationships or giving up addictions ... 1/

“It’s the pivotal moment in the show. It’s the moment of change for Elphaba. It’s when she finds out that God doesn’t have powers.” ~ Dee Roscioli What did you do when you found out that God doesn't have powers? #wicked

“You’ll find if you make it discouraging enough, you can keep anyone silent.” - Dr.Dillamond We loved the themes in Wicked and were not silent about how they parallel the reality we live in and why it's important to continue to speak truth to power.

Deconstruction is the revival that evangelicals have been praying for. They just don't have the eyes to see it. - faithwithoutlaws

"Well, if that's love, it comes at much too high a cost!" is my favorite line from Defying Evangelicalism —err I mean, Defying Gravity! But definitely both!! In case you missed it:

I love that I can offend these men with the fact that I, as a woman, love whisky. Rick upsets them with long hair and caring for his children. It's amazing how fragile their masculinity and how scared they are of women. When your identity is rooted in "a repulsion from something devalued." 1/

Our latest podcast episode on the movie Wicked, where we discuss the articles evangelicals have written where they are already getting worked up over the messaging of the movie! Plus, we just talk about the movie Wicked as a whole. (Watch movie first, spoilers) fullmutuality.com/episode/s2e1...

I'm thankful for not having to tell fascist-enabling family members what I'm thankful for, or hear what they're thankful for. I'm thankful distance, for deconstruction. I'm thankful for me - the me I've finally gotten to know the last few years. Turns out it's ok to like myself.

We had fun defying evangelicalism as we analyzed why guys over at the gospel coalition don't like the movie Wicked. And lots more thoughts on it with Jessica @goforthboldly.bsky.social fullmutuality.com/episode/s2e1...

Abuse can happen anywhere. But church environments have some unique teachings and structures that encourage abusers to take refuge there. I'm sure I'm forgetting many others for why church environments have major abuse cover up situations. Feel free to add in those I have forgotten. 1/

"*whispers* If you've ever been on an airplane, you've used a gender-neutral bathroom, and nothing happened to you, AND you didn't feel the manufactured rage to complain about it. Remember? You just went back to 28F and ate a Biscoff." - lukewesleypears

I love this question and have so many thoughts on it because I've been grappling with this for a while. I don't think I like formulas or binaries as much as when I was evangelical because people don't fit in them very well. I do think there are a set of good questions worth asking yourself 1/

Boston was lovely! When you get to meet your online friends in real life, and you are just so appreciative! @natenakao.com , @hellodecons.bsky.social and @gail-m.bsky.social 💖

I think it speaks volumes that right wingers criticize bluesky for being “liberal” and “left wing”, when it’s really just that hate speech isn’t allowed.

Evangelicalism loved the word "agenda". "Liberal agenda", "gay agenda"... They imagined everyone else had one. But we certainly did! There was a whole lot of projection going on since we were the ones who had an agenda: "make disciples" 1/

With religious trauma, CPTSD, IFS has been one of the most effective methods. Here is a great article to start you off...