Samantha Bortkins
@bortkins.bsky.social
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📥 131
📝 507
Stinky butt
It’s so cold ☃️☃️☃️❄️❄️❄️❄️🏂🏂🏂
4 days ago
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LexisNexis has got to be the stupidest business name
4 days ago
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Did such a good sleep last night. Vibes are incredible this morning
4 days ago
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New approach to life I’m gonna start making good decisions instead of bad ones
6 days ago
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It’s me
8 days ago
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I’m bored maybe I should get a coke habit
10 days ago
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I’m bored maybe I will have a baby
11 days ago
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Happy birthday
@bencriley.bsky.social
you beautiful angel ❣️❤️❣️💕❣️❤️❣️💕❣️❤️❣️💕
17 days ago
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So weird when people call me by my name and I remember I’m a real person
18 days ago
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If you could see the amount of laundry I’m sleeping with tonight you would be shocked and appalled
19 days ago
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reposted by
Samantha Bortkins
Say Mistage ʕ•ᴥ•ʔノ☆
19 days ago
Khajiit has wares if you have coin
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Anytime a man likes me on hinge it makes me feel physically ill
20 days ago
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All I did today was pre-clean my house so my cleaner wouldn’t judge me.
23 days ago
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reposted by
Samantha Bortkins
bakoon
25 days ago
nothing online works for shit anymore. everybody who knows how to work computer is unemployed. we are stuck with these losers shooting up peptides while they vibecode their claude dongle
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Think my uber driver fell in love with me. But who wouldn’t!!
28 days ago
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I used to hire this guy off airtasker to do man tasks around my house and I would joke he was my adopted dad. One day he stopped answering my texts and I realised… he was my real dad all along.
28 days ago
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Awww cute to watch the space guys come home
about 1 month ago
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Ahhh the ol Friday night crash out as I finally run out of energy pretending to be normal
about 1 month ago
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Does anyone have one of those medieval stretchy rack things and if they do can I have a go
about 1 month ago
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reposted by
Samantha Bortkins
G. Willow Wilson
about 1 month ago
Was feeling melancholy, but then I dug up Theoden with an undercut from my vault of memes
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My house, clean. My bean, flicked. My mind, pure.
about 1 month ago
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Sazzle: “is this song joy orbison”
about 1 month ago
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Today I am going to take my best friend all the various presents I’ve collected for her since Christmas. Maybe I should see my friends more often.
about 1 month ago
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Forced to eat a fruitless hot cross bun due to lack of options and my god what a crime against humanity that was.
about 1 month ago
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Think I’m gonna return to my life of celibacy. Yeah I was super depressed, forgot how to feel joy and I’m pretty sure my vagina broke but that’s still preferable to dating.
about 1 month ago
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Feel like I should be more offended when guys blatantly stare at my tits but I mostly just find it funny
about 1 month ago
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reposted by
Samantha Bortkins
Disco Elysium Quotes
about 1 month ago
SOMETHING BEAUTIFUL IS GOING TO HAPPEN
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The weather is so nice
about 1 month ago
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I got a job in finance again. me….a guy who can barely do maths and thinks a LV handbag is a good investment
about 1 month ago
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ITS COLD 😃😃😃😃😃😃
about 2 months ago
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I want fish n chip but I don’t want to experience the humidity on the journey to collect fish and chip
about 2 months ago
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I absolutely blasted through the interviews I did this week, I did so well. I’m not sure where that self belief even came from cos I been in a right poo poo mood.
about 2 months ago
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Good news gang I’m going back to singing school
about 2 months ago
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The huntsmen from a few days ago just ran under my bed so perhaps I should have addressed the issue at the time
about 2 months ago
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This humidity got me wanting to kill everyone
about 2 months ago
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Saw this huge huntsmen in my bedroom yesterday so I just went into another room for ages and now it’s gone. That’s the best way to solve problems.
about 2 months ago
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I’m gonna be so mad if I get nuked because of some loser billionaire.
about 2 months ago
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I hope dune 3 is 6 hours long
about 2 months ago
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I’m absolutely cooked
about 2 months ago
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reposted by
Samantha Bortkins
mcdowell's dollar menu
about 2 months ago
every stupid thing brings us closer to Unreal Engine Mario
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Getting a kebab
about 2 months ago
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Woke up two messages, one from my mum and one from my bestie. They were both about possum invasions of their houses last night?!?? Is there some kind of possum uprising?
about 2 months ago
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I’m in a bad mood
about 2 months ago
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Every motherfucker and their dog has a dog in this town
about 2 months ago
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Remember when I invented this meme format
add a skeleton here at some point
about 2 months ago
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I think I was worried about some stuff that was actually fine: my life story.
2 months ago
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How come those big square ice cubes in Japan are so much better. Do they have special ice
2 months ago
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I got back to Sydney and the border force guys are smoking darts right outside the airport door and the uber drivers are fighting this would never happen in japan!!! (I’m one of those people now)
2 months ago
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I think ive done permanent damage to my body doing so much exercise
2 months ago
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I got sunburnt on a ten degree day waahhh
2 months ago
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