Opened a Christmas card from the parents of one of the learners at my setting this morning. Had a little cry at how lovely it was and the genuine, heartfelt gratitude for the positive impact the project we have been working on has had for their child. Teaching is hard but worthwhile.

In my defence, the safari guide didn't specifically explain the animals aren't behind glass like in a zoo. To put a positive spin; at least I made my weight loss goal.

Before you travel back in time to off Hitler, have you considered Beau Brummel's crimes against men's fashion? I know, I know, just saying if there's enough juice for a slight detour on the way..?

Can't help feeling the UK government drive to combat misogyny when they are currently promoting excessive transphobia will result in a general schools policy of 'It's ok if you direct it all at the trans kid.'

If only the publisher had known sooner that the guy whose conduct had promoted a settlement with an employee over his sexual conduct and who did racist caricatures on TV was so problematic.

I don't want AI mode, I want A'up mode that stops you for an hour in the middle of a task to ask how your Dad is, if you heard about Vera and are you planning to come to the village fete next week.

Remember this Christmas: If you aren't in Wales or Shropshire the Mari Lwyd is an invasive species and should be culled to prevent competition with your local festive cryptid population. Hoodening, Old Tup and the Broad face extinction.

'Like a dog's arsehole on Thanksgiving.' has to be the finest moment of cross cultural language exchange I have encountered.

*pulls out hair* I am not going to accept the burden of proof when your appeal to authority is a study that supports my position.

Online idiot: *extremely wrong explanation of science to justify bigotry.* Me: 'Am science teacher, you science bad.' OI: 'So this [screenshot] study is wrong then?' Me: 'Study is right, you don't understand what study says.' OI: 'Genetics.:

Sometimes I just think about the thought process that led to Britt Allcroft making a Thomas and Friends movie where she plays the part of an engine who is a literal god from whom the existence of Sodor magically derives. There was also an evil Diesel with a grabby claw that tried to kill folks.

Not easy to get to sleep tonight - have burnt the bridge of whatever career I had left and really don’t feel that my opinions are so extreme that that should have been necessary

Yeah... Not the portent of doom you intend it to be for Gen Z.

So God 'took a rib' and made woman? Sounds like Eve was pretty darn trans to me.

The Prophets in DS9 are really relatable cos like, if I had amazing cosmic powers I'd also use them to hang out with Sisko.

Just catching up, are the bigots in favour of or against safe spaces this week? Are children responsible for their bad decisions or should we be stripping people of the citizenship because of them?

Need to sort out all these time travelers screaming 'Don't create popular fiction "Don't create the torment nexus."'and trying to kill me.

That moment when your career flashes before your eyes as your student giggles with glee. The project you have been working on together blasts across the car park and flies off into the distance whilst burning. This is why we have risk assessments and safety equipment. To compensate for bad maths.

After months of asking, my MP has confirmed she doesn't want to offer me a surgery appointment to discuss the problems associated with the Supreme Court judgement and the transphobic actions of the government. I have meaningfully and patiently engaged with the system to no avail.

Did a convention in Cosplay. New goal unlocked. Be the best Cosplay.

*gagging* Do not order the Grinch fries, do not eat the Grinch fries. *Tries to remove own tongue*

Me looking at delivery note as I sort the COSHH documentation... 'Why did I order magnesium strip? I don't think it was for reactivity series or... Did I just ask for a resource purely to burn it?'

Me as a kid watching 90's films: 'The robot is a person, it is making art! Robots should be allowed to make art!' Me now: 'AI art? Robot, could you fucking not?'

Sit down to relax after a busy day at work, open social media, read the latest news, have anxiety attack and existential dread.

Dinosaurs.

Learner: 'Can we make a fire tornado?' Me: 'I have no idea what that is.' *Googles* Me: '...' Learner: '...' Me: '...' Learner: '...' Me: 'Heck yes!'

Me: 'I plan to demonstrate waves by microwaving a lightbulb.' Boss: 'Will that damage our only microwave?' Me: 'Probably not? I mean I can't guarantee... ok fine I'll do the cheese demonstration.'

Whut about teh cis? Is the TDoR equivalent of Whut about teh menz?

I'm not sure why it came as a surprise really. He was constantly going on about a big, beautiful Bill.

*Kier Starmer gesturing wildly at TV* 'Why do the Masters of the Universe risk alienating the monsters? If Prince Adam just threw Sorceress out of Castle Greyskull, Skeletor wouldn't be a threat.'

Them: 'Support this trans music creator' Me: 'I swear to gods Nebula Rose, if this is another electro-synth-pop-dance album I am going to vomit.'

Yodel: 'We delivered your parcel.' Me: 'The picture shows it on the front step in the most obvious place. Right next to the milk box, secure parcel box and letterbox. That isn't delivered, that's abandoned. It was obviously going to get stolen.' Yodel: 'You didn't specify a safe space so...'

Teaching chemistry be like... 'Ok so I'm going to light the mix and we'll see oxidation in ac...' *Flash, whoosh, cloud of smoke* 'SHIT, SHIT SHIT, SHIT, SHIT!'

'Islam Critical' protected as a philosophy under the Equality Act??? If you couldn't criticise Islam within the boundaries of the Equalities Act before this ruling your criticism was probably massive bigotry and racism masquerade as legitimate concern.

Intro to electromagnetic spectrum... Me: 'Can anyone give an example of waves in everyday li?' *silence* Me: 'You all live by the ocean..?' *Silence* Me: 'There's a device in the kitchen..?' *SILENCE* Me: 'Anyone?' Learner: 'Light.' Me: 'Yes, absolutely. Not where I expected to start...'

Son: 'I'm a robot, tell me what to do.' Me: 'Ok, wash your hands and brush your teeth.' Son: 'Beep. I'm out of charge Mommy, you need to do it for me.' Me: '...'

Lucy Powell: *pointing at a crayon drawing of a man coloured in red* 'This is your badness level Kier, it's unusually high for someone in the Labour Party.'

The eternal struggle of science education: Requesting a £100 piece of lab equipment you know can be replicated with a £20 vibrator from the shop on the high street with no windows just to maintain classroom decorum.

Pascal's Basilisk - The dangers of believing AI tech-bros pseudo-philosphical bullshit far outweighs the advantages.

Nazis are shamelessly showing their faces in Oxford and debasing our national flag. 🤬

*Punches bowl of custard* *Punches bowl of custard again* Student: 'Are you demonstrating Non-Newtonian fluids?' Me: 'Am I what now?'

'I wish it need not have happened in my time.' said Frodo. 'Really? I mean, like, really? You have any idea what it was like in the time of Morgoth when the Silmarils were... Why am I even wasting my time? Give me the ring and piss off back home you whiney Hobbit.' replied Gandalf.

Of the three rules that exist at work I am forever pushing the boundaries of 'don't be on fire'.

I am teaching STEM in a specialised educational setting. The learners come to us with previous education associated trauma. My science activities inspire them and open doors to future careers. At the end of the day it's the arts and humanities team that heals them. Devaluing art devalues science

This is at least a sixer in the making.

One of the upsides of returning to work is the lack of time and energy required to maintain existential dread.

Teaching Physics is really fun until you have to explain how a bunch of unintelligible symbols allows you to calculate the thing you just clearly demonstrated with a roll of string and a pencil.

There was a horrible moment this week when I thought Captain Kirk had died but it turned out to be ok.

*burns dinner, drops plate, spills food all over the floor.* 'I've made a complete Starmer of this.'