Here's a deep cut. Here's another. Yes up to about 900 now.

From EX-Parrot Press: Flash fiction collection from the husabnd and wife duo Madeleine Swann and Bill Purnell, with art by Stephen Waring!! Grab your cups of tea and blankets made of slithering tentacles for warm embrace of Cozy Bizarro tales!! Release date 30th April!

We went to a very silly exhibition on the occult that got stuff wrong and seemed to be AI, but made the best of it @lofiguyart.bsky.social @danibrown.bsky.social @chrismeekings.bsky.social @leighamshardlow.bsky.social and Bill

Failed bands I've been in: Motorcycle Suppository Bach in Thyme Box of Bastards We only actually have music for Bach in Thyme, and none ever went as far as gigs. I'm kind of glad because I never really learned how to play anything well, just passable.

The idea never fails. It's the execution that's lacking. Or the interest. Or the backlash. Or the colour. Basically, I would have made a fortune your honour. You know, if it wasn't for the fact I was too ahead of my time with the ballistic puppy cannon.

Stalingrad Sex Stallion; The apex of hope.

Two big secrets of life: 1) No one really gives a shit about what you do, up to a point, and that point usually involves invading their space or attention. You can use this to your advantage or obsess about to the point of having a complex. Both valid choices. 2) Binary choices are a lie.

I've been awake for 37 hours and all I've managed to do is make a mess, and angrily wait on a friend to message me if they want me to make a mask of my own face or not.

I hate the modern Internet, have you tried to watch the Goonies into today's day and age? Filth.

That part in Back to the Future 2 with Doc connecting the wires to the Clocktower, but it's just connected to my Air Frier and its Feta Cheese puff pastry parcel night, baby!

Spent a hour photoshopping so it looks likemy friend is about to smash a rabbit with a hammer. Artistic integrity be damned I'm using my powers for evil.

"Hey Joey pull up that video of Gorilla Grod. Look at this, it's insane. You know how strong Gorilla Grod is, he could rip your arm out of it's socket in less than a second. They'll try to tell you Superman threw a 400 pound Gorilla with psychic powers through a building? There's no way. "

Eating spoonful of Nutella is considered OK, but the moment I crack out the salt, you all go mental.

My collection of cursed cubes

Cosmic clown, an unfinished short story about a Clown struggling with being lost in space. It had zero dialog and had an Alien Circus... there wasn't much plot and the ending sort of just happened with him succumbing to the vacuum of space.

Cthulu all up on those beans.

So I watched the Mario Bros movie a few days ago for fun (Dennis Hopper is having so much fun) and watched double Dragon in our Bizarro watch party yesterday. Let me tell you, only me and Chris Meekings and I survived until the end, and I do not blame anyone for leaving.

Watching all the video game movies.... pray for me.

Broke ass bitch requires $3000 worth of Candles.

You have the equivalent of a spoons weight in plastic in your brain. Get scoopin' !

That bit in Shrek where Fiona explodes a bird but she has a gun.

Does Anna Taylor bring you joy?

Letting the world know that being able to drink dairy is a privilege.

Opening up my inbox to submissions but only from those that have been previously dead. I repeat GHOSTS ONLY.

Close up shot of Danny Devito as he's suffering from food poisoning. Danny: I'm a Clam man.

On the oddities of European holiday destinations that cater mostly to the English: They're odd transitional places that exist between what the English are culturally and what the world sees us as. Liminal spaces of cheap horrible beer, fried breakfasts, and mobility scooters. I ❤️ them so much.

No seriously, how many 'Baw Loch's' does Scotland have?

Me vs the colour out of space. " Oi, ger aourt of it. Pack it in fahk face."

Fucks sake Derby

Interesting fact: Batman's weakness is Kryptonite.

MAGALOMANIAC

Think I found an easter egg in Vampire the Masquarade Bloodlines that no else has found... however it could have been from the patch I installed and not official. On the last mission, wait for bomb timer part, go back to start, wait until timer finishes, disco time.

Listen, top tip: My book makes a great source of fiber in your diet.

This self help book "Gain self respect with nazi dogwhistles" really appeals to the middle aged, white fucks with low self esteem and hygiene issues.

Once again explaining burden of proof. If you make a statement, it's up to you to prove it. Not for me to prove you wrong. This is arguing 101.

I'm getting fewer interactions on here than I did on Twitter. What am I, Elon Musk?

As a connoisseur of weird YouTube content, I've started looking deeper into the whole "Chaos magic" side of it. Let me tell you the inconsistency and vague proclamations these kinds of videos push out is astounding. You need a central logic, eg, a book. 5/7 would not manifest.

British terms of endearment for Valentine’s Day: - “You’re not all bad” - “I quite like you, in a way” - “I’ll let you buy the first round” - “Help yourself to chips” - “You daft sod” - “You’ll do” - “Come here, you idiot” - “You scrub up well” - “Tea?”

It's good to do things you're terrible at. Keeps you humble, keeps you human.

If this is reality, then you can just inject me ass first into the matrix and just forget about me.

My problem with tarted up language (Americans see ten dollar words) is very simple. What? Be clear and consise, my dude. To quote the harshest critic I ever met "Stop wanking over the thesaurus and get to the point" Poetry and Prose in a book *chefs kiss* on an Internet post, just...fuck off.

Recently went through a supreme bout of depression. Once again got through through strategic use of apathy. I found a potential cause of stress and refused to care about the surrounding factors. I'm not sure if this is healthy or not but at least I'm sleeping and eating properly again.

With the price of eggs skyrocketing in America I fear for the collapse of the marginalised groups of bullies on Halloween. Is TP enough?

Filling this up and just going to town blowing smoke in people's letter boxes.

Fuck nazi's and fuck billionares. I'm not giving death threats because that's too quick. Get inventive people.

They're playing Hoobastank at the dentist