Tired: The Dodgers spend too much money on their players. Wired: Why doesn't my team spend more money on our players?

[I put on my robe and wizard hat.]

Hope he's enjoying his dead career.

My sister: "My new phrase is, 'help me Shohei wan kenobi, you’re my only hope.' I said it this time and it worked! Pass it on!"

What if nobody has listened and the ghost has just been trying to say, "Pfister? I barely know her!"

mock-- YEAH! ing-- YEAH! bird-- YEAH!

I don't care what people think. First Watch slander will not be tolerated.

I wanted to say this last game. Blake Snell is him.

John Libka can Libka my balls.

I don't know if it's possible to have worse luck than that

My daughter is having a sleep study done so we are watching from the hospital room. She made this. We're getting the dub tonight.

Doug Eddings behind the plate of a playoff game is embarrassing. He's one of the worst.

Butt plug right behind the big dumper.

Little Naylor is also what (REDACTED)

Smoltz should be a Yiddish word that means "makes everything worse just by being there." "He really Smoltz'd the party by showing up."

Lol fox. 730 on base percentage!? 🤣

I know Chaz he's a good dude. And anyone who can unseat turd Ogles is a good thing.

On a lark On a whim I said there's two kinds of men in this world and you're neither of them And his fist Cut the smoke I had an eighth of a second to wonder if he got the joke

I read through these a little bit and they're so cool. I love Indiana Jones.

Ken Burns is going to have to make another chapter of his baseball documentary for this one game

I may have to help close the bar

I stopped at the bar to watch the end of this game cuz I figured it would end very quickly. I'm still sitting here.

When you come into the game and you're not feeling too well does anyone ever tell you, "sounds like someone needed to warm up more in the bullpen?" Gilbert: No. No, man. Shit, no man. I believe you get your ass kicked saying something like that man.

Naylor? I barely know her! (I'm tired y'all. This week took years off my life for various reasons)

It's really nice to watch good baseball without the threat of a coronary. (Cuz my team isn't playing)

MLB Network showed a side-by-side of all the team stats: runs scored, batting average, homers, starter ERA, reliever ERA. Phillies had the edge in every category except where it counts, wins.

My daughter bought these for herself at a community sale. My daughter rules. Original comics.

The Phillies outscored the Dodgers in this series 15-13 and lost the series 3-1.

Please remember: if the tables were turned, kerkering’s head lowered would be every Philadelphian’s header image immediately

Foxes are mating outside my window and it is legitimately one of the most unnerving sounds ever.

This is a cool take

People think I'm hating on Ben Biceps but I'm not. I love him as a backup catcher right now. I'm saying Will Smith doesn't call a bad game by comparison.

For the people who legitimately thought Rortvedt should start because Will Smith wasn't calling a good game.... The take was ridiculous to begin with. And tonight nails the coffin.

Yep. Watching his face after made me sad.

Someone who is "above me" where I am working just asked me who 2Pac is, and I want to die.

Seeing the social media discussions of Chicano authors, Mexicans in America, Mexican Americans in America, etc... It occurs to me that as someone who can kind of write, I'm not using my voice enough.

The last time I was at Wrigley I actually watched Jose quintana pitch. Trying to remember what happened...

Luke Raley appearance!

My daughter recommended I do this so I did. Vladdy!

I'm trying to make a Boone's Farm joke but it's just not coming to me.

Blake Treinen trying to get onto the team bus en route to the Philly airport.

don't let treinen on the plane. he'll figure something out and get back when he gets back

Get that J6er out of there NOW

Andy Pages is having a rough night.

Teoscar thinks he turned into prime Rickey Henderson all of the sudden 🤣

I just want to say this once because I'm annoyed: Basketball courts are for basketball. Take your stupid pickleball and play it outside.

Vladdy hit that so far 😂

The pride of Boyertown Pennsylvania is destroying the New York Yankees.

My wife posted a photo of our "house divided" flag (half Phillies half Dodgers) and one of her friends commented, " cheesesteaks over tacos any day." I responded kindly: you can't seriously believe cheesesteaks are better than tacos in any universe. The worst possible argument he could have made.