At some point I should maybe hang my January calendar.

I know I say it every year, but these fascist, seditious assholes ruined Epiphany. Jerks.

Love you, Mulch Fest. 🌲

Let's see how my ducks have been fairing without me these last few weeks. Oh. Oh no.

Can I talk to someone in charge of this hockey telecast? Why are we not showing power plays in the bug?

Applications now open for who wants to be besot by me!

🎶 I got through all of last year and I'm here 🎶

Jocelyn Make Party Snacks That Don't Involve a Stick of Butter challenge

Six rubber duckies!

My list of tasks to tackle this week has grown to two pages, because I do not understand how this week is supposed to work.

Happy 46 days until pitchers and catchers report!!!

I'm so sorry but there's no coffee except for Starbucks in this airport. I tried.

I was informed "be careful, the plate is hot". AND THEN I did NOT touch the plate to see if it was hot.

I was today years old when I learned his name is Hermey, not Herbie.

That...was not a small wrapped candy I just pulled out of my purse to offer someone.

Tried to be virtuous and finish off two quick tasks I'd been avoiding before bed. They turned out to be annoying and I could not complete them. Now I am too annoyed to sleep.

For some reason, this just turned me into the demented laughing woman on the Q train.

Gonna vote Forgot My Scarf as one of the top five worst decisions I've ever made.

I read the headline "Braves Sign Austin Pope To Minor League Deal" and for a good five seconds fully believed they had signed Pope Leo. This is probably a sign I need some more sleep.

I think tattoo ai might be the actual worst possible use case.

I'd watch this series.

What if I plan two hiking adventures for these here polar vortex times??

I want to like OMNY but they are really making it difficult. Get your shit together!

With these crab facts, we reflect on the solemnity of the coming of the Lord

One leftover container down, ten more to go!

Picard engineering tip: Don't allow the computer to push you around. Let it know who's boss.

Am I making too much food, I ask myself before I remember it's impossible to make too much food for Thanksgiving

Jealous of Brazil was actually on my 2025 bingo card

OKAY! I've completed my two priority tasks of the day, and now I can take a nap! Hang on...I'm being informed that there are more tasks.

Jocelyn, are you aware you don't have to develop an instant crush on every bossy redhead you meet?

My plan for the week is dependent on me turning into an entirely different person by tomorrow. Let's do this!

Can't sleep because I'm pondering the child labor laws in Sesame Street. Of the fictional location. Not of the child actors on the show.

I did not pay enough attention to this recipe while prepping and had to frantically google how to make self-rising flour.

We ran out of stickers at 6:30 pm

It truly is a special kind of hell that the World Series is always right before the election and I'm stuck watching these gross attack ads.

Brooklyn votes early!

Just over here doing an insane amount of research on judicial races that are foregone conclusions. Why am I like this?

Not now, escaped plague-ridden monkeys. We're busy with other apocalypses right now.

Sunk cost fallacy in game form

*starts reading "Go the Fuck to Sleep" to the baseball*

Love that Canada is airing commercials talking smack about us during the World Series. Yeah we earned that.

Good news: I have gotten my phone to stop correcting my name to "hate". Bad news: my phone now corrects "hate" to my name.

😭😭😭😭

Nothing says "I have my shit together" like taking a meeting from the laundry room.

Language barrier at the pizzeria is a problem I've never run into before and I'm both surprised that it has taken this long and surprised that it actually happened.

AAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH

Honestly just shocked at how incandescently furious I am about the White House. Three days ago I would have said I only vaguely care.

Returned an unfinished book to the library that I wasn't enjoying rather than power through. Gold star, please!

12 day Advent calendar? That's not a thing!

I went to queer book club in October, and boy howdy, that was a lot of plaid flannel. Why are we like this?