WHY IS IS SNOWING???

today at the World Metaphors Classic the leader of the USA didn't bother to find out the details of the situation his team was in and blindly assumed they would win a matchup they ended up losing, jeopardizing their long-term standing for no good reason

Me: *eats a bowl of soup at 5pm* My stomach, at 7:30: Please. Feed me. I've never been so bereft and hungry

FFS Jaye, how many purple coats does one girl need?

We at AVCX crosswords believe that N and Ñ are different letters

Love to work weekends because of other people's fuck ups.

Deeply disturbing that I correctly guessed we'd start a war between the Olympics and the Paralympics, but I was wrong about which country would start a war with.

Went to a jazz show at a whiskey bar, and was somehow surprised I was the only woman there.

This wine kinda sucks, but at least there's a lot of it

Frantically googling "how to become an introvert". This hilariously returns results on how to be more extroverted.

Twice today I've read the phrase "State of the Union" and my first thought was of the Hepburn/Tracy movie. Is this a healthy coping mechanism, or sheer denial?

The conflict between my inner child who just wants to run through the snow, and my middle-aged body that will absolutely break if I fall.

Oops I Accidentally Joined a Shuffleboard League: the Jocelyn Story

Incredibly rude of this storm to start just as the Olympics end. I guess I'll just have to read 4 books today.

Me: Well, I don't know anything about figure skating, but *explains for five minutes about figure skating* These are things that happen when you are a) interested in every sport but the BIG SPORT; and b) a nerd.

Should I cancel my Sunday hiking plans? Please advise.

Can the Sabres sign Andrea Braendli?

A local restaurant said they'd be showing the Canada/Czechia game tomorrow, and I was confused because I forgot men also play hockey.

Both of my laptops managed to die at the same time, so I'm on a meeting on my phone, and taking notes with a pen and paper like some kind of caveman!

Relatable

I am still laughing at "Súper Tazón".

I don't understand how Italy is winning hockey games.

No coffee on a 7 a.m. flight should be against the law.

I've lost my planner. Is that bad?

Excited to visit a land with temperatures above freezing, and where I can walk more than 20 feet without seeing an ad for that fucking movie. And to see the fam, I guess.

Cool new mayor making it hard for me to be a cynical New Yorker complaining about my mayor

Unsure sure if the dude setting a fire on 6th avenue was a protestor, a pyro, a performance artist, or just cold. Leaning towards b or c, but who knows.

Peacock is over here bragging that one can watch up to 4 Olympic sports at a time, and they are wildly underestimating how many sports I can watch at once.

I regret being the sort of person who needs daily walkies for my sanity.

NEW YORK CITY YOUR WEEKEND LOOKS LIKE CRAP IT'S FUCKING DISMAL THE ONLY QUESTION IS HOW FREAKING DISMAL IS IT GOING TO GET? SAT: 21°/15° COLD, DISMAL SUN: 22°, SNOW AND SLEET AND ICY SHIT, INCREDIBLY DISMAL

Oh thank god!

Buying oranges to disguise the fact that I just came into the grocery to buy potato chips and Oreos to stress eat.

My gender identity is painting my nails sparkly lavender while watching football.

Look, this is New York City, there are rules. If you bring a large pizza on the subway at rush hour, you have to share with everyone in the car.

I am old enough to know to turn it off and turn it back on. But sometimes I forget to try that twice, and waste two hours of my day.

The social contract is dead, and yet I somehow have to pay my taxes today anyway. Seems not quite right.

Only an idiot fights a war on two fronts. Only the heir to the throne of the kingdom of idiots fights a war on twelve fronts.

Cannot believe it took me six months to add "Golden" to my Emergency Happy Music playlist. What was even wrong with me??

At some point I should maybe hang my January calendar.

I know I say it every year, but these fascist, seditious assholes ruined Epiphany. Jerks.

Love you, Mulch Fest. 🌲

Let's see how my ducks have been fairing without me these last few weeks. Oh. Oh no.

Can I talk to someone in charge of this hockey telecast? Why are we not showing power plays in the bug?

Applications now open for who wants to be besot by me!

🎶 I got through all of last year and I'm here 🎶

Jocelyn Make Party Snacks That Don't Involve a Stick of Butter challenge

Six rubber duckies!

My list of tasks to tackle this week has grown to two pages, because I do not understand how this week is supposed to work.

Happy 46 days until pitchers and catchers report!!!

I'm so sorry but there's no coffee except for Starbucks in this airport. I tried.