Me when I see a gay couple participating in the “things my husband and I have stuck up our butts” trend on tiktok and the first one says “Me? Nothing…” Cause I know damn well.

You can always catch me with a dick in my hands 😜

Sometimes after I impulsively ❤️ a nonpolitical TikTok by someone white, I may or may not cross check their profile for an ugly red hat to make sure I don’t have to rescind it.

Ever think about how many random people have photos with you just chilling in the background? ✌🏽📸

Feels weird missing all the Halloween festivities tonight. The area where we live in Japan doesn’t really celebrate it 😣

🍹🫶🏽🍹

Coco Curry til I cream

Time is a flat circle

We made it home btw 😙🚆

Last day in Osaka, and the only pair of undies I have left for the bullet train ride home is a jock strap. 🙃

My cute matcha date 💚 @littleeddybear.bsky.social

Made it to the Eagle Osaka 🦅

What can I say, it’s my favorite view. 😮‍💨

MADE IT TO THE PROMISED LAND

Happy 38th birthday to the talented Hilary Duff.

Japanese konbini: 🥰 American convenience stores: 🫩

I hope all the rapture Christians feel fucking stupid at the end of the day. 🩶 Although I’m genuinely curious what their excuses will be this time around.

Drop an old pic you still love

No rapture… You know what that means… 😈

The bus radio playing Don’t Cha by The Pussycat Dolls while it’s full of manly marines is so cunty 💅🏽

The orange fucker can’t even pronounce acetaminophen, I ain’t listening to him. 🙄

Spending an entire lazy Sunday doing intermittent naps in bed with my man, all while treating his booty like an emotional support pillow 🥰

Just discovered these little guys called Smiskis that are wildly popular out here. People collect them, hide them around the house, and even build tiny villages for them. They’re so cute. I need all of them. 😭

Happy Friday for us. Happy Thirsty Thursday for y’all. 🩶

It’s 2025 and hotels are still using these flimsy paper door hangers that fall off if you breathe too hard. Can’t y’all switch to magnets or something? 😤

Japan Adventures 🎌

I’m sorry that you… seem to be confused. He belongs to me… That hump is mine. 😏

Rush Thigh Mega Tampon 💟

Maaaaaaaaaaan… Fuck this humidity

The amount of sushi I’ve eaten this first week in 🇯🇵 is still never enough 🍣🤤

Happy Friday from the future y’all 🩶

All these marines on base have mustaches

Anyway, thoughts and prayers.

Only Charli I know is xcx and she’s fine so

We gays need to band together to help her save pop music this time around! 😭🥺

Me on this plane to Tokyo ✈️

We are losing a glorious hole and pole today to Japan today. But we’re also gaining a new Airbnb for trips

F*** this country, we’re moving to Japan-ewan 🎌

Final day in the states… this is insane

Mood

Now that my gif arsenal is open, y’all BETTER enjoy them… or else!

Ok. Updated my app. Now testing a gif from my gallery. 👀

Why would I moo for you?

But when will it be my turn to lose all my innocence in the back seat?

i love when people tell me i’m pretty instead of handsome like yayyy i feel so gay guy

Just a bunch of grown thirty somethings playing drunk hide and seek on a Sunday night. I’m going to miss these people so much 🥺

Resigned and otw to return my laptop and badge. I officially start my role as a trophy husband 🙂‍↕️🏆

Farewell orgy?