So who is gonna be the George Russell train daddy of our new gilded age and can I have a job in his basement

JAJA DING DONG

I have a new project you can read or very much not idk autismquotient.com/2025/03/28/i...

PLAY JAJA DING DONG!!!!!!!!!

Anora was a bore-a

United Academics of the University of Oregon READY TO STRIKE

Back on my extreme bullshit

Fred: I hate leggings Also Fred: designs new uniform that doesn't have leggings but then adds them anyway (Photo via Gymnastics Now)

What a weak little babby. Barack Obama just put on a coat and toughed it out like a MAN

I just forced myself through the latest NYT simper piece where a bunch of “real man trump supporters” (who definitely aren’t three operatives in a trench coat) parrot right wing talking points unchallenged, and I hate the New Old Masculinity so much. Gonna be a long four years.

If you’re sad that TikTok is dying and burnt out on micro media, I have great news for you, which is that nobody asked for it, but I decided to make my blog live again like it’s 2004! pankisseskafka.com

We've been making music with instruments since the Paleolithic (30k+ years)+ since we were human (300k), voice songs+ percussion w stones/sticks (because its what we do). Music makes us feel alive and gives us purpose and shape and beauty. Fuck every last AI bro who thinks that is replaceable

Wut

Got called Mrs. Schuman 13 minutes after introducing myself as Dr. Schuman (while projecting “Dr Schuman” on my intro slide) today, gotta be a new record

Jordan Chiles’ new routine is PRINCE and I am LOSING MY MIND

Oh not much, just thinking bout how “fit” in academic job search lingo means “hi we only hire neurotypical sycophants” and also you actually interact w/ your academic colleagues approx 3x a year so who cares

Waymo is peak American innovation. With way less money they could have built a reliable public transport network, but instead someone was like "what if we could find a way for empty vehicles to contribute to traffic too? There's no reason we can't have more cars on the road than there are drivers"

Good morning ONLY to other people who can only wear Danskos now

I got a lotta problems with you people and now you’re gonna hear about it

I have GOT to slow down on the nespresso pods, I do not have this kind of money what have I done

Birbs

"Yes, you could try knowing things but what if you could be shittier and dumber?!"

I tried to set an OOO today so that students worried about their grades would know I was away for the weekend and instead somehow the default OOO settings SPAMMED THE ENTIRE UNIVERSITY and now my account is in Microsoft Jail!!!!!!!!!!!!! YOU GUYS!!!!!

This is my OOO starting tomorrow. Teaching is everything to me but this term’s onslaught of finals week urgency nearly did me in. It was probably only about 10 kids out of 75 who turned in nothing for 10 weeks and then finals was Negotiation Time but I AM TIRED YOUSE. I AM TIRED.

Today my daughter asked me if I was the class nerd and I said no, I was the class weirdo, it’s different

GOOD

Half my inbox is students begging to turn in late work (they are allowed to, you don’t even have to beg!). The other half is students thanking me for being a wonderful instructor. This year I’m trying something new and instead of saying aww shucks I’m saying IT’S TRUE, I AM. Because I am.

Aw shuckssss.

I woke at five this morning to the sound of my cat puking up a hairball. I have looked all around the house and I cannot find the hairball. I’m gonna get the worst Christmas surprise of all time.

Some say arsenic is poisonous to drink and could kill you, while others claim it’s delicious and nutritious. In today’s @latimes.com we look at #bothsides of this debate… 😬🙄

I already know that my 2025 resolution is going to be a resounding success because it is: be a bitch

Says a lot that none of the mothers of his 45 precious Aryan children wanted him at their tables

2.5 years ago @mauricegriffin.bsky.social and I had our first date at a pizza place with terrible ambience on purpose in case it didn’t go great (then I’d be fine never going there again). Except now it’s been 2.5 years and I insist we redo our first date every 6 months with mid pizza whoops

I don't want to cast doubt on the impeccable dependability of google AI, but I don't remember this particular plot twist in du Maurier's REBECCA

@mauricegriffin.bsky.social 🫶🏻

Bawling my eyes out over a dog I never met 😭😭😭😭🦮🦮🦮🦮🦮

I like my sootcase

Tonight my ENTIRE feed is literally birbs, this app wins

The University: all absences are reason-neutral period, no such thing as excused or unexcused, you may NOT give athletes special treatment The athletic dept: here is an excuse note on official letterhead, please excuse this athlete’s absence and then give them a bunch of special treatment

Cobra Kai is the most unhinged show that also has sick montage sequences of all time

I honestly don’t think Americans understand how much their day to day lives depend on federal civil servants and now is the time for professional commentators to write op-eds explaining

Sup

Quiet quitting

Play the long game guys, the color explosions in response to the sad beige years are going to be wild

Yes having it get dark at like 1pm sucks BUT taking my kid to the morning bus in the pitch ass dark sucks more. BRING ON STANDARD TIME, MOTHERFUCKERS

I’m so tired

Currently spending literal thousands of dollars to take my daughter on a road trip to Disneyland and I’m 90 percent sure the best day of her entire life was just at this La Quinta in Redding near a McDonald’s