Humphries is really cute, but I could never fancy someone who uses that much hair gel. #darts #WorldDartsChampionship

I’ve decided on my New Year Crush, however it’s actually quite inappropriate and I shouldn’t act on it SIGH

Gary Anderson for the whole thing, LOVE HIM #WorldDartsChampionship #darts

I’m so happy darts is back 🥰

OMG GUYS, MY SISTER GOT A PUPPY AND HAS BOUGHT IT TO BOXING DAY AS A SURPRISE

My friend, an artist, made me this absolute gem 🖤

Ahem.

A very happy and safe festive season, from me and mine 🖤

[Darts toot] Furious that I’m 2 years older than Michael Van Gerwen #WorldDartsChampionship

Shit. My best friends have all got my boyfriend Xmas presents and I haven’t.

YES, they’re coming for Walliams! 🥳

I had some more tests for the ole’ early perimenopause, and it turns out I have loads of testosterone for absolutely no reason (no PCOS or other causes). One for the biological sex fascists out there 😘

A cishet man I matched with on an app: “Your profile says you’re queer, are you not attracted to men?” *tired groan*

The Hot Vet complimented the cat on how soft she is and I immediately glazed over and imagined him saying it to me

Was asked to write a poem for a silly thing and everyone, *everyone*, told me to use AI, but I didn’t, because I knew I could a far better job just using my own mind. And guess what? 10 verses of perfect poetry without destroying the planet or anyone’s livelihood, SUCK IT GPT.

This is a super good list of super good writers, thank you @innocentlb 🖤 (Promise I will start blogging again soon!) https://mastodon.social/@innocentlb/115645029473284993

Traffic jams in the country hit different

Actively hate the work of all the Brontë's, ridiculously excited for the Wuthering Heights film.

[UK pol] As a health secretary, as a politician, as a LABOUR politician, pissing off the BMA is NOT A GOOD IDEA #wesstreetingisawaxycunt

Cishet men, if you want a date, don't listen to Andrew T*te or ChatGPT, listen to @girlonthenet, always: https://mastodon.social/@girlonthenet/115518705071229385

I have a hot date tonight and I thought I'd just quickly whip off my chin hairs with a dermaplane, and I've cut myself so badly, right under my lip 😭 What a great look

[Mention of bumholes] In other news, cishet men endure:

I've taken some cheese and ham to bed like a European

This time yesterday, I was in a hot tub with a sexy, naked man massaging my feet, and now I'm home cleaning up cat sick.

[Menstruation, sex, and despair] HAHAHA this weekend there is an AirBnB and a hot tub ready for my potential new partner and I to fuck for 48 hours AND MY FUCKING PERIOD HAS STARTED 😭😭😭

Bought pyjamas which look like proper clothes so I can do Teams meetings in them and no one will know, shhhhhhh

Sometimes you need a little treat... (I was completely influenced by @girlonthenet https://www.girlonthenet.com/blog/doxy-go-cute-fucks/)

The point of this https://mastodon.social/@robyneatseverything/115209998377935756 is that the support artist is there, performing for you, putting time and money and effort into *you*, the least you can do, as an audience, is show respect for that effort. As you can tell, disrespect for artists […]

A circle of hell for people who don't clap for the support acts at gigs

Zack Polanski has time to condemn the Fascist riot today, why can't Keir Starmer? Stuck in traffic? Saturday can be a nightmare, huh? "Solidarity to all communities under attack. We stand together." That's what we want to hear! #ZackPolanski #GPEW #UKPOL […] [Original post on mastodon.social]

Another day, another reason to hate the government and the media and the right and the flag and the billionaires and the freedom of speech and the racists and the transphobes and the people who still use X and the centrists and the cowards and the people who clutch their pearls

Reminder that 100,000 people marched for Trans Pride in London earlier this year, but because they weren't violent fascists, there was minimal press coverage, unlike the Nazis today. https://www.them.us/story/london-trans-pride-march-turnout-record-uk-transphobia

[Lewd talk] I've managed to line up 3 fucking awesome fucking weekends for the rest of the month: this one with my boyfriend, the next with a FWB, and then one involving a [hopefully] new partner and an AirBnB hot tub 💦

I don't advocate for violence, but neither am I wholly opposed to it, as too many handwringers are. At some point, those who willfully inflict violence must expect that violence to be returned. And all who oppose violence must understand this harsh truth. I'm 67 and have always hoped for […]

"Political violence" is a term that exists to suggest a moral distinction between "violence against politicians" and "violence by politicians" - so that one can be condemned while the other can be normalized. Obviously, no such distinction exists in reality: violence is violence.

Some bloke took his owl to the pub, and it's the most cursed owl you'll ever see.

[Food pic] I recommend you go to an empty beach on a sunny day and eat a Danish

I am *incensed* today. My nestie had a casual fuck last week, thought it went well, and asked the person if they wanted to see nestie again, and they were quite horrible in response. I don't understand why you'd criticise someone's body and tell them never to acknowledge them in public ever […]

Went for a lunchtime first date, and when the guy arrived (extremely cute, omg) I stood up and accidentally SLAPPED my open bottle of cider halfway across the pub. The bar staff had to get the little yellow wet floor sign out.

Usually, finding lacy black knickers that are not mine on the bathroom floor would be a red flag, but I'm poly, so everyone's underwear is everywhere.

I've accidentally fallen for a boy who lives 350 miles away.

It was Erotic Book Night at the club this evening. I shared one of the stories by @robyneatseverything, to much approval - many thanks to them for such excellent smut!

[Lewd] Fucked a guy then left behind a little clump of my hair on his pillow. Perimenopause; the gift that keeps on giving.

[Therapy, MH] In therapy today, I was asked to think of safe, nurturing memories, and they all triggered me and made me cry. Faaaantastic.

The new report from @transactualuk is a really difficult but vitally important read. If you're able to, please email your MP, send them the link, tell them to read it, and ask them what they're personally doing to support the human rights of trans, non-binary, and gender non-conforming people […]

Why does my cat look like a toothless old man? #caturday #catsofmastodon

[John Boyne] Re. that statement by John Boyne on the Polari Prize, transphobes are always the most BUTTHURT of people. Petty little bitches.

I don't wish to be ridiculously smug, but I just got an NHS dentist appointment and I feel like a lottery winner

I watched Lena Dunham's Too Much and I wish I hadn't. SPOILERS AHEAD 🧵

Mornin' #catsofmastodon #caturday