I have food poisoning and everyone in Columbus wants to sell their books. Send help.

Apparently all I needed was 10-and-a-half hours of uninterrupted sleep to fix my entire life.

I appreciate that the gay guy down the street from us stopped mowing his lawn to wave and say "HI GUYS!" when me and Matt walked past yesterday. Yes, fellow homosexual, we are homosexuals too. Nice to meet you.

I'm gonna be real with you all, they're not skanky enough.

Anyway, animals are too good for us.

Better!

The hardest thing for me about living with a significant other is knowing that if I still lived alone the house could be a mess and literally no one would care. hashtag sloblyfe

Happy holidays.

I need to get back into actually doing burlesque because I really want to strip to Jethro Tull

Oh btw I'm starting a queer horror/suspense bookclub at the store starting May 24th. More info at Clintonvillebooks.com

@haileypiperfights.bsky.social hi Hailey! big fan of your work. I'm hoping you can give me some guidance. I'm starting a queer horror bookclub at the bookstore where I work and I want to read one of your books for it. Which do you think is most conducive to a bookclub style discussion?

We are so back

This has been a ROUGH day and I have to work tomorrow. Ugh.

FREIDA MCFADDEN CONFIRMS WIG

Well I haven't slept through the night in a week and the urge to abandon everything and drive until my car dies is pretty strong today, so I think it's time to tell my doc this antidepressant isn't working.

We did, and it was Easter weekend, and he's still not dead. Someday.

Aw, heterosexual British couple, I don't want you to have an argument in the bookstore--that's really annoying and I can't leave ☹️

(I don't actually care if Chappell Roan's security detail made that kid cry, and I find it hard to believe anyone else does either given the state of things).

I know I've lived in Columbus for too long because I see like repeat strangers all the time. The guy at the pizza place near my house was, I think, friends with an ex of mine from like 10+ years ago. I think his name is Jerome.

Hell Columbus! I've logged in to let you know I that tickets are on sale now for Plot Twist, our sober burlesque revue at Clintonville Books, on April 4th (that is my birthday, btw, please buy a ticket or I'll cry) 💖💖💖

she Didion on my Joan until I Play it as it Lays ... ... is that anything?

I eat at the deli next door to the bookstore practically everyday, to the point that the college kids who work there know me by name. But there's this one kid that always calls me "sir" and it kind of makes my skin crawl.

Just saw Judas Joe Manson comment on a performer's Instagram post "HEY BOO CHECKING IN ONE MORE TIME TIME SENSITIVE GIG ❤️" And it's just heartening to see that you can be the world's most famous Lady Gaga impersonator and drag queens still won't get back to you in a timely manner.

Still got a fair amount of tickets to sell before Saturday, so if you're free, come have some fun at the bookstore, and support Columbus, Ohio's foremost sober drag show!

Reading the House Down is coming up again at Clintonville Books. Get 20% off your tickets TODAY (2/16) when you use the code VDAY at checkout. #Columbus #Ohio #drag #sober

So, my mother has become a conspiracy theorist, but I can't be too upset about it because the conspiracies she's buying into are like "Donald Trump has antibiotic-resistant gonorrhea" and "they're gonna send unmarried people to internment camps, so I need a gun".

She's touring this year and I think I'm going to try to see her in Cincinnati

I had to break down Sally Rooney's ouvre to a customer earlier. If you liked NORMAL PEOPLE but wish the characters were nicer, try BEAUTIFUL WORLD If you liked NORMAL PEOPLE but wish they were meaner, try CONVERSATIONS WITH FRIENDS If you didn't like NORMAL PEOPLE try INTERMEZZO.

It's been a wild couple of weeks. Changed my work schedule, started a bunch of new meds, had ICE come to our door, and just learned on Saturday that my former best friend from college (we are not friends now, and have not been for years) has cancer... so I'm having a lot of feelings.

"Fluorescent Adolescent" is "Landslide" for millennials.

I have really complicated feelings about cis women writing erotica about queer men, because I do think it's helpful for women who are trying to suss some things out about their own identity, but it also almost always feels voyeuristic and poorly handled.

Acid flashback in the middle of cleaning my apartment, had to pause and dissolve into an infinity of pulsating flesh and sucking, desperate desire before I could finish wiping down the bathroom.

I do have to wonder if at least part of the reason why conservatives focus so much on the concept of family is because they are bad at making and keeping friends.

Plot Twist! Coming up again, Saturday, December 6th at Clintonville Books. Take a break from the holiday doldrums to see a little show. Tickets on sale now. #Columbus #Ohio #burlesque #sober

What if Marge Simpson was your gay uncle: that's me, Brad Walker.

You are not "gooning". No one is "gooning". I don't believe you.

The concept for this movie is such a heterosexual monstrosity. What do you mean she has to pick which of her dead husbands she's going to spend the afterlife with? Why can't she have both? Even in death you people are shackled to monogamy? That's sick.

2026 is going to be the year me and Matt figure out where we're gonna move. We've got some loose plans to check out Chicago and Minneapolis. I'm so excited, I want out of Ohio so bad 🥲

We will only be rid of the Male Loneliness Epidemic when more men start sucking dick.

Late to the gay party, but Addison Rae's album has like four absolute bangers... which is more bangers than a lot of albums have! The rest feels inconsequential.

I heard about 15 seconds of "Adore You" by Harry Styles over the tinny, Meijer in-store radio over a week ago and it has been stuck in my head EVER SINCE.

Dick Chaney dying the day before election day has to be a good omen, right?

old bitch

Halloween is a very wholesome holiday where everyone dresses up as dead bodies. Christmas is a really unwholesome holiday where everyone spends money they don't have, get really stressed out, and act a fool in retail spaces.

Gay people are a lot rattier than they used to be and I'm honestly so grateful for that.

I do feel like there's a weakness in people who want their browser histories scrubbed after they. You're dead, what do you care? I encourage everyone to check my history after my unfortunate demise. You're just gonna find fat guy porn and definitions for words I've used all the time for years.

One (1) sip of Coke and my entire worldview is changed. Who cares that they're tearing down the White House? The heat death of the universe is imminent anyway.

We should have another weekend where we all think the president is dead again soon.