Kind of devastating. Pour one out for a karaoke night icon.

Girl, get in line.

This nursery in my old town is really going through it

I am a big proponent of nonmonogamy but I feel like if I were in a throuple someone would be mad at me all the time.

(Men are so fucking whiney, omg).

A lifetime ago, when I worked at Whole Foods, they sold caffeinated water. And at 25 I thought it was so silly,but now, in the downswing of my 30s, it feels like the only thing I should ever drink again. They stopped selling it of course.

Sometimes you just have to be happy that your friend is no longer doing meth, even if it means they have white person dreads now. ... Not everything can be a perfect miracle!

Trying to rush all the customers out the door so I can rip the most heinous fart of my life in peace.

Hi, big atheist here, but I do think that if there is a god, the only people who have gotten anything right about it are artists who are deeply mentally ill.

Leaving a 1-star GoodReads review on Flowers in the Attic is so boring. What do you mean you didn't know that it was a schmaltzily written book about sibling incest? That's all ANYONE knows about Flowers in the Attic!

It has come to my attention that I will not survive this summer unless I buy a second pair of shorts.

Boss went to a book buy earlier this afternoon. Came back with a verified John Wayne Gacy painting. I told him we can't put it up in the store because it's cursed.

Someone is doing a pop-up at the deli next door to the store and her brand is called "Monalisa Poundcake" and I just wish she was a drag queen because that name rules.

There's a certain kind of customer that just walks around the bookstore mumbling the titles of books, sounding bewildered. I always want to ask them if I can call them an uber.

Trying to mediate a discussion in the show group chat about which of my drag performers gets to do "Toxic" (a song that came out when I was in high school) at 10:00pm on the day their music is due is truly encapsulating the spirit of Pride month. #community

I'm not a tankie but I did find this funny in an I'm-always-kind-of-scared-for-my-life-nowadays sort of way (lmfao)

The kink at Pride debate is so fucking dumb because it all boils down to Americans being so uncomfortable with the idea of standing near someone who MIGHT be horny, when the truth of the matter is, that's always a possibility everywhere you go. ANYTHING -can- be a turn on to SOMEBODY.

Also, I beat Pokemon Lazarus with my all-vibes-no-type-coverage team and it was hard. Probably won't do that again for a while. Trying to get three Dusk Stones for these divas was quite the grind.

Gentle reminder to buy a ticket to my fucking show, which is a week from tomorrow #Pride #Drag #Columbus #sober #ACAB #suckingpenisonSullivantAve

Happy Pride to all the "really good allies" who haven't squared up with their own bisexuality and/or gender diversity. Maybe I'll see you next year champ! 😉

I was snooping on a regular customer's twitter when I accidentally ran across a tweet that's literally about me.

Intrigued enough for $1.75, but prepared to be disgusted.

Created a Pokemon team based solely on vibes and now I'm kinda getting my shit rocked. #PokemonLazarus

My boyfriend's at Dog Weekend (Anthro Ohio) and I'm working 7 days in a row because everyone else took memorial day weekend off. To say I'm jealous is an understatement, but I'm glad he's having a good time.

Man I'll be really pissed if Ohio actually bans drag/burlesque shows outside of "adult cabarets" because I love producing shows. There is something really magical about seeing a new cast start to come together and getting that "Yes! This is the combination of performers I want!" feeling.

I have food poisoning and everyone in Columbus wants to sell their books. Send help.

Apparently all I needed was 10-and-a-half hours of uninterrupted sleep to fix my entire life.

I appreciate that the gay guy down the street from us stopped mowing his lawn to wave and say "HI GUYS!" when me and Matt walked past yesterday. Yes, fellow homosexual, we are homosexuals too. Nice to meet you.

I'm gonna be real with you all, they're not skanky enough.

Anyway, animals are too good for us.

Better!

The hardest thing for me about living with a significant other is knowing that if I still lived alone the house could be a mess and literally no one would care. hashtag sloblyfe

Happy holidays.

I need to get back into actually doing burlesque because I really want to strip to Jethro Tull

Oh btw I'm starting a queer horror/suspense bookclub at the store starting May 24th. More info at Clintonvillebooks.com

@haileypiperfights.bsky.social hi Hailey! big fan of your work. I'm hoping you can give me some guidance. I'm starting a queer horror bookclub at the bookstore where I work and I want to read one of your books for it. Which do you think is most conducive to a bookclub style discussion?

We are so back

This has been a ROUGH day and I have to work tomorrow. Ugh.

FREIDA MCFADDEN CONFIRMS WIG

Well I haven't slept through the night in a week and the urge to abandon everything and drive until my car dies is pretty strong today, so I think it's time to tell my doc this antidepressant isn't working.

We did, and it was Easter weekend, and he's still not dead. Someday.

Aw, heterosexual British couple, I don't want you to have an argument in the bookstore--that's really annoying and I can't leave ☹️

(I don't actually care if Chappell Roan's security detail made that kid cry, and I find it hard to believe anyone else does either given the state of things).

I know I've lived in Columbus for too long because I see like repeat strangers all the time. The guy at the pizza place near my house was, I think, friends with an ex of mine from like 10+ years ago. I think his name is Jerome.

Hell Columbus! I've logged in to let you know I that tickets are on sale now for Plot Twist, our sober burlesque revue at Clintonville Books, on April 4th (that is my birthday, btw, please buy a ticket or I'll cry) 💖💖💖

she Didion on my Joan until I Play it as it Lays ... ... is that anything?

I eat at the deli next door to the bookstore practically everyday, to the point that the college kids who work there know me by name. But there's this one kid that always calls me "sir" and it kind of makes my skin crawl.

Just saw Judas Joe Manson comment on a performer's Instagram post "HEY BOO CHECKING IN ONE MORE TIME TIME SENSITIVE GIG ❤️" And it's just heartening to see that you can be the world's most famous Lady Gaga impersonator and drag queens still won't get back to you in a timely manner.

Still got a fair amount of tickets to sell before Saturday, so if you're free, come have some fun at the bookstore, and support Columbus, Ohio's foremost sober drag show!