Any woman who votes for a republican is the same kind of woman who will pretend she doesn't know that the man of the house is going into the children's bedrooms in the middle of the night. Republicans will never turn out to be good people.

For a guy who very much wants to move house, I sure do keep buying fat books like I'm not going to have to pick up boxes full of them. I really am my own worst enemy.

Ive really gotta stop playing to the audience when I'm home alone. Christ, I'm insufferable.

May every siren be for a prick who has blown off his hand, and not another fire

My mother in the past week: I'm going on a trip with a friend on your birthday, so change your dinner reservations. Can you wait to go to hospital for your broken foot until tomorrow, my car's getting an oil change today. Rolls eyes when I ask her to pour a cup of coffee Shady Pines for this bitch!

When you love Worf, but not enough to watch a whole Klingon episode.

Just home from the hospital, and Ive got a fracture in my foot, and while I'm happy I wasn't over reacting, my foot's still broken. So, damn.

Ive officially reached the point of middle aged where I'm going to wait until morning to go to urgent care for my probably broken foot because it won't be so busy and I don't want to be there after bedtime.

Seed companies are odd. You send them an email saying some seeds didn't germinate and you'd like a replacement pack. They ask for a picture, so you send them a random pic of bare soil. They say thanks and send your new seeds out.

Its been a while since I roasted a whole chicken. My house smells amazing right now, and its going to be an hour until dinner. This is torture. Its been a long day and I'm mad hungry.

The county is driving through my neighborhood tomorrow, spraying for mosquitoes, and I don't know how I feel about that. Fewer mosquitoes is good, as is fewer cases of west nile virus, but also going through the streets spraying poison fog can't be a good thing, right?

Well, at least somebody's enjoying the new Reflection Pool

Heard there's swamp creatures in the WH once reflection pool🙄🤣

I was just introduced to the idea of making jelly filled doughnuts using a gingerbread man cookie cutter. Isn't it funny how fast something can become a life goal?

I'm happy that the garden is growing with all this sunshine, but these days are long as hell. Its too bright for too long.

Here's a fun little thing to do: YouTube is pushing today's UFC "Coachella for rapists" on the White House lawn with sponsored ads for Ellison's Paramount Plus. If you see a listing, you can click on the three dots and report the channel. I chose to report them for "violent and repulsive content."

Nazis should be very afraid right about now

Gay men during hurricane season.

Remember: Dragons who horde gold do so out of greed as it holds no value for it beyond feeding their desire. They will pillage and take from those who would use it for survival out of their own hunger for satisfaction. When a hero slays it, no one mourns the dragon.

1/ There’s a quiet army you probably haven’t heard about. Hundreds of retired federal judges, appointed by presidents of both parties, are coming off the sidelines to defend our courts and our democracy. What they’re doing should give you real hope. 🧵 #DV1 #ProudBlue #Voices4Victory #USDemocracy

I couldn't think of a reason why I shouldn't try it, and now I've got about a pint of apricots water bath canned in a skull jar from the dollar store.

Can canning recipes please stop fucking around?! "Makes about 6 eight ounce jars" Fuck off. That is a 9 jar recipe and you fucking know it you evil shit! Anyway, my 9 jars of blackberry jam are delicious.

😉

Yup.

My beautiful harvest of apricots, blueberries, and blackberries! And there's plenty more on the tree and bushes! I'm making an unbelievable amount of jam over the next couple days, so I couldn't resist throwing together a fruit crumble to keep me going, I'm just waiting for the butter to soften.

I believe the bound book may be the greatest thing humanity has ever invented. I also believe that the electric fly swatter is a real close second. Oh, the thrill of the hunt.

There's a Pride event today nearby. I kinda want to go, but mostly not. My social battery is mad low, I don't want to see people i stopped talking to for a reason, I don't want to go to what I think will just be a bunch of booths selling rainbow crap I could use the affirmative environment though

I just want to remind everyone that costco sells lactase pills, so there's no reason not to have a milkshake to build up phlegm before spitting on Christians protesting pride.

If you're at a Pride event and see a friendly Christian booth, while there are other Christians with hateful signs protesting, ask them why they're fundraising instead of doing a Laramie Project and hiding the hateful fucks with angel wings. I'm done with fake support. Fuck all the way off.

This Pride month, my resolution is to be a little bit more like the Witch from Into the Woods Bernadette Peters, fill my soul! I INVOKE THEE

My vicious pit bull is forcing me to stay on the couch.

Hey humans. When I call my 7 year old dog a sweet little puppy, don't "correct" me by pointing out that 7 is "hardly a puppy." No one is forcing you to be a twat. Thank you.

Omg Google has become such a piece of shit! I want the yellow pages to be delivered again! I want to find local businesses! And no, the nearest fucking Walmart doesn't goddamn count!

San Antonio just raised the rainbow pride flag at city hall, under the state flag and above the Spurs flag

mamdani you have to stop. you smoke too tough. your swag too different. your polices too bad. you’re gonna make me a knicks fan

gm happy pride month

😌

Damn, I think I really need a Flogging Molly style cover of Music of the Night. Apologies.

I don't know who made this – it's going around without attribution for the edit – but especially if you remember the original Farside cartoon this was adapted from (see the alt text if you don't), this is one of the best digs at Trump I've seen in awhile! 😂

After spending days cleaning the house I can't find anything. Having stuff put away neatly instead of all out where I can see it is dumb. I just spent 5 minutes looking for the vacuum. It was in the broom closet, where it belongs. Dumb.

Oona is upset that her sister took her spot on the couch.

So many “patriotic” militaristic holidays to ensure We The People continue to willingly murder good people in other countries to benefit bloodthirsty greedy soulless elites. WE SAY NO.

The thing about these conservatives and the Odyssey is that *they don’t care*. They don’t read. Their talk of “the western canon” is a dog whistle. They want to vilify coloured people. That’s it. Stop taking their bad faith complaints seriously.

Check this out! I made an awesome potting bench out of a table my neighbor was throwing out and some old fence boards I had. I'm so happy with it! Only cost $35 for the hotel pan I sunk into the tabletop to hold soil.

Watching the NPR interview with Byron Allen. He's really coming across as a huge jackass. I already know comics unleashed is about as funny as a daily wire "comedy" movie, but this interview would make me avoid watching. Idk how this reporter kept her shit together being spoken to like this.

Did anyone ever figure out how those damn three seashells work?