Pitching “tuberculosis 2” to the doctor once again telling me their not in my network

Lawyer: were you or were you not in the vehicle that night Me (anxious from waiting for a good time to test my new catchphrase): Silly! Shut your fool mouth!

If you like misery like me, here’s a bunch a blue Nazis drooling over the right way to “deport illegals”

“It is act out and go wild with it” -Johnny Carson

I walked into chipotle and said I was hiring for ICE and every guy in line got in my car.

Guy watching DS9 who’s only played the Pinball table: Where’s O’briens ramp?

I need the soap opera gunpla. nothing else ever has or ever will matter to me.

Breaking: Charlie Rich has confirmed he will be giving President Donald Trump John Denver's CMA award

Imagine being a gay man with a child and being this spineless in this moment.Pig was trained to do exactly what he did and he’d do it to Pete and his husband with no hesitation. If you can’t find your balls in that moment you do not deserve a platform. An embarrassment to the queer community.

ICE: unloads several rounds into a citizen Star Wars fan: I see the teachings of Slipp Turdo are lost on some

i need to be alone in a cave for 6 months

I’m so afraid the fascism is making me less funny, less creative. I’m so full of so much hate all day now it makes me sick, I’m drowning in emotion that I’m not lucid enough to harness into my work. It’s making me a worse artist, worse comedian and worse person. It’s killing me and all I am.

“We can’t stoop to their level” people are an equal threat to those killing us. And they will survive relative seconds longer than us for their trouble

Who else up and ready to get too mad all day 😤

The problem is earning a block makes you feel good, like a truth-slinging badass. They should introduce a block that makes your penis hurt.

Invite me on your podcast! I promise it will be a disaster! Very good for numbers!

I just know she’s gonna tell my freaking dad and I’m gonna get freaking grounded 😠

Turn the replies on baby

Quick reminder now that the killer has been identified

Are y’all familiar with the phenomenon known as “pedophile face”?

It's so rare to capture a good pause face for everyone in the thumbnail, watching this vod must be good luck! (And YOU can watch it for FREE) www.patreon.com/posts/baby-r...?

Me reading a post: horrifying, thank you.

Incredibly telling to turn of replies on a statement like “the SS is just an agency” and incredibly stupid to leave quote posts open lol. You don’t even know how your phone works, why should we take your opinion on literal government civilian slayings.

@jay.bsky.team why is the footage of a paid DHS agent for ICE, murdering an innocent and cooperating citizen, now being flagged as graphic media en masse?

She posted this and then remained silent about the murder of a civilian by ICE, instead taking time to change her pfp

?

It's so rare to capture a good pause face for everyone in the thumbnail, watching this vod must be good luck! (And YOU can watch it for FREE) www.patreon.com/posts/baby-r...?

Begging. Screaming, for one of you to pick me up

I think if you can find success with AI assistance at your job then you probably have the definition of a fake job

Reading books is so fun. Read a paragraph, stop, look at 9 posts on Bluesky, read a second paragraph, stop, read 12 posts on Bluesky 9 of which are the last 9 +3 new ones. I’m absolutely transported!

When I was eating my last edible yesterday and said “I’ll be fine without until my check comes in a few weeks” I forgot for a minute the moment in human history in which we are living.

I don’t want to blow up necessarily. I just want to be in 1-3 projects that are good despite my involvement, and then coast on unearned confidence until I die. I want what Rappaport has.

If you give a shit about this, give your partner my number

Oh EPSTEIN I thought y’all were saying “x-files” I was like wtf those aliens are nuts lol

I hate food thats low or zero calories, why don’t they make like calorie dense pickles so I can eat 1 pickle in the morning and just be set for the day. Give me an individual slice of cheese that requires me not to spend $30 dollars a day to not starve to death! Give me dinner-ready olive!

Oh EPSTEIN I thought y’all were saying “x-files” I was like wtf those aliens are nuts lol

“It looks weak” the planets largest twerps scream from inside the flushing toilet bowl

Thank you Baller alert. Hey more like Meatballer Alert.

Five years from now it can open its own Bluesky account

I’m waiting to see where Ezra Klein lands on this before I weigh in, actually

The FIFA peace prize winner did what?!

Seeing great growth on twitch.tv/videohellsystem lately

My resolution is to learn how cricket works and then be a real pill about it on here.

They should replace the cheese filling in Combos with SSRIs

They’re calling it “the most successful year in sitting on the couch”

I need everyone to come see this nasty cartoon mouth that me and @aichdubb.bsky.social also had to see www.patreon.com/posts/sweeti...?

Hi I’m Charlie Kirk’s double (used pto)

The perfect year to drop my correct and measured manifesto

$630 is the cheapest I’ve ever seen women’s shoes

I’ll do it for free. Slurp up this bullet you thick assed raptor