horrifying scenes in house as I encounter three (3) giant spiders in the space of 15mins. I know it’s that time of year and all but jfc, I’ve got enough on my mind right now without the spider related jump scares

It is hard to not have Rio here, because she’s been here for 14 years, and the space is tangible. But whilst I’m very sad, I am comforted in knowing she lived a truly full life, and that we made the right decision to let her go before she declined.

If this intends to make it legally compulsory for every adult in Derry to carry something called a "Brit Card", then I'm willing to offer some high-paid consultancy on why this plan might be flawed.

Chose to give my beautiful best girl our last gift, and let her leave this life today. We couldn’t outrun cancer, but Rio tried so very hard and made it further than I could have imagined. She was the gentlest, sweetest girl with an iron will. 2011 - 2025

Finally got to bed and there’s a fuck off huge spider in the ceiling corner of my bedroom. Obviously I can see him, but more importantly I can HEAR HIM jetsetting about. Maybe I’ll just never sleep again, I’m sure that will work out fine.

In the last 24hrs, I’ve had 3 consecutive hours of sleep, I prevented Rio from choking to death, & I had a screaming argument with my sister where she said some hurtful things that actually didn’t bother me because they were true. All we can do is keep moving forward.

It’s 7:45am, it’s 7° and extremely damp, and I can see a woman wearing shorts in front of me. Shorts! Some people have a constitution for cold that I can barely fathom.

Signs I need above my laptop: when you make a website for a national canine association, they will not follow your user account recommendations, and it WILL come back to bite you.

so many of the small indignities of daily life come from us being denied the ability to tell a rich man in a tech company to fuck off. minesweeper has microtransactions. paid services have ads. the opt out says maybe later. the drive thru is a broken chatbot. your car is an ipad. fuck off! fuck off!

I’m especially tired of a) not earning a lot of money, b) being told I should do <thing!>, c) having to explain that I can’t afford <thing> because I’m paying for Rio’s medication & the cycle of insurance means as soon as they repay me, I’m then buying the next lot and guess what, see a)

I’m so tired and tired and tired

The exuberance with which this website tells me I have qualified for free delivery \o/, immediately followed by their sad little message that actually, I don’t :(, because they can’t possibly comp the necessary courier service, even if it’s for a £359.66 small ibuprofen-sized box of tablets.

No cheating post the last photo of your pet

I am looking for book recommendations once more! I am open most genres of fiction or non-fiction, if you can quantify it! (a list of titles is not likely to pique my interest to further research)

That’s the big Outdoor Championships done for another year. No big trophy yet again, but we’ll keep working on it. It’s genuinely just a privilege to compete against top class teams and I’m always bringing home the best dog.

SAY GOODBYE TO YOUR MEMORIES, THEY'RE KILLING THE EARTH, ALSO WE'RE BUILDING NEW AI CENTERS feels absurdly farcical and dystopian while perfectly illustrating Stage 4 End-Stage Capitalism in all its dipshit horror.

Made my pizza dough just before I could set off on a long drive so it could rise in the car, ready to eat this evening. I did not account for the warm car being a perfect proving oven, and now my dough is threatening to escape the bowl.

Everything is sorted out, and I do strongly feel like I deserve some karmic or financial compensation for being really nice to everyone about their dire administrative incompetence. Instead, I shall pay all these companies £££ for the medication and Rio’s insurance premium.

I was SO organised this morning. Called Rio’s oncologist for more of her complex meds, then called my vet for some of the easy different meds. 4 phone calls later, 2 genuinely lovely receptionists doing their best, 1 increasingly panicked me, still no meds. I can sort this out, however …

Have put dedicated time into getting this dog to peak for the Championships next week but I forgot that this also means I have turned my high-drive high-energy Aussie into a buff endurance tank who can wrestle me to eat all the blackberries she can cram into her endless maw.

The energy efficient lightbulb that has been going since 2006 has finally died, with a dramatic fizz pop, smoke, and fusing all the lights. One of the greats. (Is this adulthood? Is this the true herald of being middle-aged?)

Things giving me anxiety about Rio’s vet appointment today: having to ask why blood test results aren’t being sent to her specialist, getting a timeline for her UPCR results being sent to her specialist, & demanding that I be CC’ed into every future email. Things not giving me anxiety: Rio

Added this one book on my to-read list years ago, but it’s out of print and so niche that I have never found a copy for sale. Quietly checking all the used book sites every six months or so, just in case.

good feature, this www.cyclingweekly.com/news/farewel...

Not gonna lie folks, my vet practice continues to be absolutely fuckin useless!

Reluctantly tried to do the bsky age verification and it says it can’t be sure my face is a real face so I’m just gonna sit with that for 24hrs before I consider trying again. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Love this story from @redford.bsky.social about riding in the neutral service car at the Tour. I always wanted to do a story like this from the cars, but never had the chance. There's a whole novel in some of the split-second visions you get of the spectators through the car window. (gift link)

Love getting to the third week of le tour when these days everyone starts dropping due to covid (sorry, “everyone has a terrible fatiguing cold/pneumonia”).

Looked away from Le Tour for 15mins and Evenepoel has abandoned. Let this be a lesson.

Norman has landed! (NOT my puppy, he belongs to a friend, but oh my gosh he is cute)

Recent movie quiz night had a Quotes round with bonus points for correctly attributing to either the character OR actor. My teammate Mark & I were immediately like, NO we shall name BOTH, which gained us no extra points & wasted a lot of time. Feel like this reflects on me. Not well, but accurately.

yesterday’s wedding sunset

The absolute panic I inspire when I ring my GP vet practice to ask about anything related to Rio. I just want a refill on the tablets prescribed by her oncologist! This is why I don’t trust you, [Medivet branch].

This is because of the Online Safety Act, and UK folks had better get used to doing this because every site on the internet that "is likely to be accessed by children" and has users in the UK will be doing this as of 25 July; that's Ofcom's deadline.

Chopped 4” off my hair today, not my best work, but the advantage of loooong hair is that nobody will notice

Woken up by agonising toothache and I can now say it takes exactly 13mins for the paracetamol to kick in. Why am I like this. I’m so tired.

This morning I found the large toad - a familiar face from the garden - had moved into the hall. I rescued and relocated him, obvs. How did he get into my house, and more importantly, why did he get into my house? A mystery for the ages.

Rio has a truly incredible ability to take a handful of treats in her mouth, extract the quarter-tablet, and spit it across the room whilst swallowing the rest of the treats. A prodigy.

I have been away all weekend at a truly lovely birthday party but I miss my girls so much

The sun is shining, the garden is blooming. (No I don’t know what any of these plants are, my father maintains a no-labels approach to gardening)

the small sweet rush of seeing a new post from a friend whose online presence has been dormant for years!

Rio was back at the oncologist today. She’s starting some additional meds, and all being well with her latest tests, she will begin metronomic chemotherapy next week in addition to her current meds.

my flyball team loves buying new team shirts every 2 years and it’s sending me to the edge. The shirt I have is fine, the shirt from 4 yrs ago is fine. This is a shirt with a max wear of 15-20 times per year, wear days already split between 3 shirts. I don’t need another shirt. Please, no more.

Today in “things that *actually* directly threaten the Iditarod Race” (*cough cough*)…the US Senate Budget bill threatens to sell off a lot of public land. This would affect places throughout the US, including a special place on-trail—the Rohn BLM cabin that is the Rohn Checkpoint. (1/2)

I specifically go to see this one vet because she is the only competent one at the entire practice, and at this stage of Rio’s life, I’m not willing to start building a relationship elsewhere. However. The practice itself? Incompetent, uncommunicative, bewildering. Insulting? Getting there!

I’m not gonna lie folks, cancer fucking sucks. Nobody enjoys nosebleeds. Granted, Rio’s lack of joy lasts 3-5mins whereas mine lasts 30-40mins as I have to clean up after. Few things so miserable as cleaning up your dog’s blood, that should be inside of her body and not all over my body & house.

behold, a collie

Just up front: I think the Iditarod announcement is hmm let’s say, ill conceived. However. Tourist mushers aren’t new, & may give extra incentive to keep checkpoints open longer. I do also appreciate that he has to pay everyone else to be there, but I don’t think he’s paying nearly enough overall.

Garden is blooming! The fruit trees finally blossomed after five years and are producing fruit! Does my father know what kind of fruit? Absolutely not, because he loves to throw away any labels and also keeps no notes. Might be apples. Probably apples? Anyway this bee enjoyed their nap.

Rio is still here, photo on a not-great day. It’s hard to qualify normality; sometimes she sounds like a brachy dog, and I worry, but then again, Frenchies just live their whole lives like this. With enthusiasm, she eats, runs, plays, remains opinionated. She takes her drugs like sweeties.