A 16" calf is not extra wide. I said what I said.

Why am I always surprised when entitled people act entitled? You'd think I'd be used to this by now but nope.

This otter would like to wish you a happy Friday and congratulate you for (almost) completing the week.

One day closer to my dream of being a bog witch who lives alone in a cottage in the forest with several cats and sells potions to unwitting people who happen by.

Good morning!!

There is a man in my workplace that only speaks to other men in the office, the ones he finds important. Other men tell me what a good guy he is. I have my doubts.

Need something to do on Sunday? TOGA, the finest purveyors of fake wrestling, are offering public sign-ups! Join or watch, we offer: Voice acted promos/cutscenes, entrance music, commentary, PPVs & much more! Next card is tomorrow @ 8PM EST! www.twitch.tv/togawrasslin youtube.com/playlist?lis...

I had to fly while fat this week. Cannot recommend.

I just heard a radio ad that talked about the importance of vaccinating children. Is that where we are now? Our ancestors would be appalled.

Mobile phones making noise in 2025 is unacceptable.

Treat everyday like Mardi Gras. The vibe is so good. No one cares if you black, white, gay, straight, trans, a drag queen, we're all just having a great time together as humans. That's how it should be all the time.

For those of you who know about #Louisiana #TOPS, did you know that TOPS pays for tuition but NOT fees? Here's my daughter's fees vs tuition for #ULL Fall 2024. The fees are $3120.02. The tuition is $2703.48. The tuition is $416.54 less than the various fees. That's insane.

Just putting it out there, one time I went to a job interview at a law firm and the man interviewing me told me they were hoping to hire someone "more attractive."

My coping mechanism these days is reading books about faeries banging while eating Little Debbie cakes.

Nothing like going on vacation and coming back with a chest cold.

My hair is full of secrets.

Sorry folks, Louisiana is closed. Moose out front should've told you.

Listening to rich people talk is a trip. These pvt school moms are talking about having soup parties (everyone gets a muffin tin with samples of soup) and last minute shopping for ball gowns.

Leo knows how to spend New Year's Day.

Aesthetically pleasing.

Cashier just told me I look good for 78. Ma'am, I was born in 78, I am not 78. Phrasing matters.

Hey food police: fuck off.

Would love to hear my therapist's internal dialogue about what I unpacked in today's session because it was a doozy.

I just woke up from one of those naps where you can't remember your name or what year it is.